I have endured urethral syndrome and vulvodynia for nearly nine years. I have seen more doctors and other health care deliverers than I can remember. My chart is very thick.

As a result, about two years ago I had come to some kind of perverse accord with my long term pain and quit looking for any real help. I felt like the mythical Sisyphus, doomed to push a large rock up a hill for the rest of his life. My best care was coming by way of the ICN and the seemingly limitless reservoir of support that it gave.

However, I think we each have a point where the white flag goes up and we just shout out, "Help me! I'm copeless!" That hit me last October after a prolonged flare that was turning me into a mad woman from the pain. My family physician suggested a class that one of the clinical psychologists in our HMO was providing on techniques for dealing with chronic pain through cognitive behavioral changes. He also recommended I see this man as a private patient.

I'm sharing this tale to reveal that help can often come from places you wouldn't consider likely. I took those classes, learned much and in the mean time developed a rapport with my psychologist. It was through that process that finally, my story was fully fathomed by someone in health care. He was outraged at the dismissive and at times, abusive care I'd received over the years and became my patient advocate. The co-facilitator of the class is a physical therapist also well schooled in chronic pain management and the two of them jumped on their chargers, grabbed their shields and slew the bureaucratic, medical dragon that had kept me down.

In fact, just last week, my husband and I were privileged to be included in a conference between all my care givers, including a new one on the team; another physical therapist specially schooled in biofeedback muscle rehabilitation for the pelvic region. So, there I was with my profoundly supportive husband in a room with my psychologist, my family physician, two physical therapists and my gynecologist, listening to them all contribute their treatment and support suggestions along with a printed long term treatment plan for me to take home. I was invited to give any and all feedback.

These past days have seen many phone calls coming to our home with office staffs from each of these caregivers helping me to make coordinated appointments to make this all come together.

I spoke with the physical therapist who will be helping me with biofeedback this morning and I told her how mildly embarassed I was about all the attention now. She said, "The crime is not in the level of attention you are getting now rather the crime is that it has taken so long."

My wish is for all my sisters and brothers here on the ICN and elsewhere to someday be honored with this level of attention from their care givers. I suspect that a whole new paradigm is developing at my HMO and I look forward to the day when this approach becomes the standard for all of us with a multi-factoral, life altering condition.