Our First 'Night Out'

[ICNLesa]

Hubby and I went to dinner tonight and left our not-always-so-angelic baby with Grandpa for a couple of hours. I guess she had a pretty rough time without us...cried quite a bit. ::sigh:: We sure needed to get out but it breaks our hearts to hear she was so upset. She's a baby that really wants us to be with her constantly. She'll shout the moment she loses sight of us. I know this isn't uncommon so we're just flowing with it...it's tough though!

ICNLesa

[Teri]

Lesa, I know how hard it is.....I had to do it about 29 1/2 years ago for the first time. Now, after 9 grandchildren I can honestly tell you that the babies that were allowed to stay with us from the time they were a few weeks old and the babies who were help captive by their parents and completely different babies. It does them good to know their grandma's and grandpa's. Especially when an emergency comes up. Our almost 2 year old had the most horrific time when the twins were born because he had never been left with another caretaker. I was a complete nightmare for him.
So, pat yourself on the back [img]biggrin.gif[/img] Let grandpa bond with his little angel and learn to enjoy yourselves....you deserve it. Babies are HARD work.
hugs and kisses~

[ICNDonna]

Teri's right. I just wish I could come over to baby sit for you. Bet she wouldn't cry for me. [img]wink.gif[/img] I'm a famous baby-spoiler.

But....that's what grammys are for.

Sending a huge hug,
Donna

[Melly]

Hi Lesa,

I think babies are much more resilient than we realize. However, I am not too willing to embrace this idea. I can certainly identify with you. It has been very hard to leave Ellen at daycare. I usually drop her off at 9:30, visit for lunch, and then return to pick her up at 4:00 at the latest. It continues to be an adjustment for me and for her (more for me, I believe). However, having an occasional break is so important. It gives you and your husband a chance to be a couple again. And, it gives you a chance to regain some patience and interest in your little one. It gives you a chance to realize that you are still someone other than just your daughter's mom. I think you need time for yourself so that you can be the best person you can be for your little one. Try not to let the feelings of guilt get to you too badly (and I will try to follow this advice as well).

Take care and best wishes for the holidays!!

Melly

[pineland]

I wasn't really going to say anything, I didn't know how to phrase it correctly to not step on anyone's toes, but there is another way of thinking about this. Clearly, if you needed to get out, you needed it, no question there.

There is another way of thinking about the whole idea of our babies "needing" to be away from us and "needing" to spend time alone with other people, whether it upsets them or not. We practice what's called attachment parenting. Basically the only real "rule" is that you listen to and follow your babies needs and your own instincts and never let them cry it out alone (babies will cry, just not alone). To us, it means that we are now a family of 3 and we do things together, including co-sleeping, babywearing, altering what we used to do to make it work for our family, etc. No, it won't cause her to be more dependent on us, actually it makes her more independent in the long run. She learns that she can trust us to listen to and meet her needs and that we are always here for her. We just don't feel any need to be away from Olivia. I'm not at all saying that should be the case with everyone, just that if you're feeling guilty about being away from your little girl, it's only natural and you shouldn't feel like you "have" to be away from her if you don't want to.

If anyone's interested, there's a lot of attachment parenting websites out there.

Like I said, I don't mean to put anyone elses parenting styles down. I just wanted to be sure everyone knew there was another opinion on this and another way of doing things.

Have a Very Merry First Christmas!

Darcy and Olivia (9 months) [img]smile.gif[/img]

[Murph]

ICNLesa:
I know it tugs at your heartstrings to hear your baby cry or to know that she's crying in your absence. Although, she's crying and carrying on it's all forgotten when she sees you. Just realize it's much harder on you than it seems to be for your baby.