one on one counseling....venting

[Julie B]

I have had a particularly bad week, a bit IC but mostly emotional. My dad died earlier this year and my mom has been very needy this week. I live 90 miles away, and all of this support and care was done by phone and took almost all the empathy I had.

Last night I had several nutritional counseling patients (I am an RD) I felt weak and angry and VERY intolerant of the people who kept making excuse after excuse about why they "couldn't" stay on their prescribed plan. I also had to fight the urge to say something stupid like,"and you think YOU have problems!" I certainly didn't act on these feelings, but I am just as certain that I wasn't the best person for the job at the time.

By the time the evening was over I was a WRECK! Maybe some of you who do therapy or other types of individual counseling have a hint or two for me. All I could think of was to get into the car and turn the radio up REALLY loud and try not to cry. Well, now you know my weak moments, any suggestions???? Hugs to you all, Julie B

[This message has been edited by Julie B (edited 08-10-2000).]

[This message has been edited by Julie B (edited 08-10-2000).]

[Julie B]

just re-posting so that someone may read this. Thanks

[Dianne]

Sorry, Julie, it is hard to be there for others when we have our own battles to fight. I had one of those FOB's from hell last week (father of the baby) who hadn't been there for anything but the conception so far but now that his kid is in NICU, he's a freakin' brain surgery. I wanted to neuter him. It was a high pain day and I sure didn't have the patience to deal with his BS. Anyway, as to what I do, AL-ANON! I can't imagine working in a human service field and handling IC without it. Somehow after I tell what's happening there, I usually end up laughing about it. Anyway, that's what works for me. When my head starts up, I grab the Courage to Change book and start reading under detachment, changing what I can, powerlessness, anger. I know we all have to find our own way but that's what's working for me. Hang in there!

[Jules]

Julie,
I'm so sorry I didn't read this earlier. I do know where you are coming from. There are times when even the best of us have our moments. I, too, can have a particularly difficult time with people who stay in a " learned helplessness" or victim mode. I am a social worker and have focused most of my professional life on individual and family therapy. I, like everyone else, have my good days and my bad. Some days, I need to do exactly what you said, go sit in my car turn the volume up. Except that I do scream my head off and let out the tension. It helps that I have clinical supervision to deal with "MY stuff" so that it doesn't get in the way of my patients issues. Don't beat yourself up too much. I do find, though, when I am having a day where it is more difficult to keep my issues separate, that it helps to get on the phone with someone in my support network and talk about what is going on. It usually puts perspective on my issues, removes me from the situation temporarily and lets me get back to a more professional place. There is no magic to it. It can also help to take a few moments and write down what is going on so that I get it out and my emotions don't get projected on my patients. Good Luck and be very gentle with yourself when this happens. We are human, after all. Gentle loving hugs,Jules