Attitude in Adversity

[Sheryle]

Let's face it: it's easier to be cynical after being diagnosed with a disease that is considered “incurable.” It's even more realistic to be cynical about it. If you're the kind of person who has a need to be right, deciding there will never be a cure, that your marriage will never last, and that our National leaders will make decisions that will fail to make the U.S. perfect are surer bets than the opposite. It’s easier to believe the negative!
Being optimistic doesn't mean not being realistic. It means making choices that influence outcomes, because they can also be self-fulfilling. If you're sure your medicine/Doctor/family is going to fail you - they will. Also, if you're determined everything research is doing to help with Interstitial Cystitis is for naught, it will fail you.
Take care of the more serious problem. Attitude. In fact, if you want to make your life better, start with own "world." Get it? Pragmatically speaking - that is, if you want to function AND feel better- an optimistic view works better. It’s called FAITH It gives you energy. Learn to laugh. There is healing in laughter!

Functionally-speaking, it is wiser to be optimistic. Optimism is a tool. If you can still that voice in your head that says everything stinks, you can begin to see what you can do about things as they are, some of which, yes, "stink," but not all. If you're plagued by the suffering of pain, (and most of us are) for instance, set aside a time to figure out what YOU can do about it. Just one more thing that you’ve not been doing and know you should. We are not the only people who are suffering in the world. Let's show them we are doing something about it, rather than complaining.

I’ve found the best thing one can do in the face of adversity is volunteer to help someone who is less fortunate than myself. Try it....it works! And don’t tell me you aren’t able. If you are sitting at your computer reading this, you can pick up the phone and call someone who is less fortunate than yourself and let them know they are in your thoughts today. Tell them they are your prayers!

[ads]

I really enjoyed your post! It was inspirational and encouraging, but I had to break it down a little bit to the level of coping and knowing God is with me today. We are all in different places with IC and some days the computer is our lifeline to the outside world and our only form of support. There are those of us who have days where we may get to the computer for a few minutes perhaps only to vent because we are emotionally drained and have nothing left to give, go to the kitchen, bathroom (20-60 times every 24 hours), and back to the bed due to unrelenting tormenting pain/urgency/frequency. Today, I will just have to settle for volunteering to optimistically cope with my own challenges, so someone won’t need to come and help me survive. Again, it was great to read your message and the encouragement helped.

[ShePurzz]

What a great post -- while I certainly agree with the person ahead of me -- some days the computer is only here to help me know I am not alone -- on the OTHER DAYS, it is often a support system for ME or US and using those days to support others is a great way of reaching out and helping someone else.

I often say that groups like this are the lifeline -- perhaps someone can't call others, but they can PM someone no here with a hug and some support.

Your post was ON TIME and positive and I really appreciated it!

Looking forward to helping SOMEONE ELSE today!

Thanks for the encouragement and reminder.

God, please be with anyone today who feels that this post is too hard to do -- THAT person needs the support of others today and I pray that one reading it will just ask for that support -- the group is here for that reason and for one who is hurting too much to reach out to someone else, please encourage them to say so and to ask for what they need today -- then, match them with someone who can email or PM or phone them today and encourage and strengthen them so that eventually, when 'this too passes' they can 'pass if forward' on a day when they do feel strong enough to be the encourager, rather than the encouraged.

Thank you for my sister who posted this positively powerful post today! What an inspirational piece to read and for those of us who are able, remind us that today is a gift and that we should use it to benefit all we can --

In the precious name of Jesus, I pray,
Amen.

Mary

[Cricket]

{{{{{Sheryle}}}}}
Thank you for sharing. Your message is so supportive and filled with hope. As we journey through this life we will be continually confronted with unavoidable situations. Attitude is what determines whether or not we overcome those obstacles. I know this to be fact. Changing my attitude is the only thing that saved my life. I allowed negativity to overwhelm me; I chose to make my life ( as well as the lives of those who cared for me) utterly miserable. I had reached the bottom of my rope and was at the point of letting go when I finally realized that I had control over my actions. We don't always choose the situations in our lives, but we can always choose how we'll react to those situations. Attitude is the key. God had been trying to get that message through to me for years. I'm so grateful that He finally made me listen!

Your message reminded me of something I wrote shortly after climbing out of the pit of darkness:

`` I remembered when my life revolved around all that was going wrong. I expected the negative, and because I never made the effort to look for anything positive, all I found was the negative. What miserable and wasted years those were!!

Sliding downhill into the ‘poor-me pit’ is so easy. Believe me --- I know!! I slid all the way to be bottom and then sat there in the darkness for the longest time, wallowing self-pity.

One day after asking God, for the millionth time, "Why me?", He separated the clouds that covered the pit, just enough, to let a tiny bit of light shine down. In that light I saw an old toolbox that I'd been carrying around with me all my life. Inside the box were two tools. One was marked "CHOICE". Although I had used that one a lot, I never read the user's manual and wasn't aware of its full potential. I learned that day that the 'CHOICE' tool is bi-directional. Well, wouldn't you know it, just about every time I used it I had the reverse (negative) button switched on!

Then I looked at the other tool in the box and I couldn't remember ever using that one. Since I had nothing else to do at the bottom of that poor-me pit, I decided to look in the user's manual and I found out that the second tool was called 'DETERMINATION'. When attached to CHOICE, DETERMINATION locks the bi-directional switch in the forward (positive) position.

Having nothing to lose, I decided to try out those two tools and use them according to the directions. With choice and determination, I was able climb out of that pit and push most of those dark clouds away. It wasn't easy! And I have to admit that I dropped those tools more than once. But each time I slid back down, I'd pick them up, put them together and resume climbing.

Once out of that pit of self-pity, and having pushed aside the clouds that had blocked my vision, I could finally see the good things in my life. Ever since that time, I've put my energy into looking for the positives. And now I wonder - how could I have ever been so blind?!

We all carry those tools. 'Choice' and 'Determination' make life's difficult tasks easier to accomplish. If you use them correctly, you'll find that NOTHING is impossible. Open your tool box and try them out. ``

Sheryle, I agree with, and appreciate, everything you said. And yes, some things in life do stink....... but lots of things in life stink good.... isn't it a wonderful blessing to have the sense of smell!

Thank you for letting God's Light shine through you.

With Love,
Cricket

[BeachBaby]

What an awesome "course" in pulling yourself together. Sheryle, I appreciate your perspective, and Cricket, what a wonderful and talented way you have with words.

I read this and realize something. Many of us can find out selves in the "pit". I think the thing that is really difficult is to admit we are there, and matter the reason...not question if we are entitled to be there. I think often we get so stuck because we think our reasons for sinking aren't worthy enough and then it can become so cyclical that we DON'T find our way back up.

So, basically we just find ourselves there regardless. It is nice to read a recipe for hope. It is easier to stay in the negative and it does require a commitment to want to be in the positive. BUT!!! I agree, that the work is worth it and if we can remind ourselves occasionally how to get back there, we can cope far better with whatever life is chucking at us.

Life is a series of changes, some good and some not so great. It is important to remember how to access out coping mechanism, because just when we think we have figured it all out, it is almost inevitable that we will be challenged again at some point. As Cricket point out, there will be those times when we just stay there, but it doesn't have to mean forever.

Thanks for the reminder ladies! What a great discussion.