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**statesboro** · 10-16-2010, 10:15 AM

I went to physical therapy. OK. I got to do some exercises. OK. I started hurting worse than I was. OK. I did get some heat put on my neck. That helped some. Yep! I just want to take some Tylenol or Eleve and rest and go back back to work.(since that is what I am supposed to do) Oh, yeah! I do know you went to work with headaches many times. OK. I do know dad went to work with back pain more than once.(and 4 back operations) If ya'll can do it, then I can do it. In other words, I am supposed to shutup, keep taking Tylenol and/or Eleve, keep going back to work, get a life, and try not to be an embarrassment. Yep! Dad could have qualified to be on disability, but he had a family to raise.(which meant that disability was not an option) If he can do it, then I got to do whatever it takes to make it to retirement as well.(supposing I don't croak first)(2 Tylenol)(Eleve)(whatever) Disability is not an option because I got to have a life.(one with meaning and a purpose) By the way, the check was not taken today. Why? I was told they had to figure it all out first. Physical better do some good for me. I had not figured I would be going back in 2010 at all. I was glad to be at work without pain. Oh, well! One of my working partners actually takes Tylenol sometimes during the shift as well. We will struggle to get by together. Yep! Oh, well! That was sent to my parent's computer on October 12 at 3;44 pm. Yep!
I just sent a copy of an e-mail that was sent to mom and dad. OK. You get to see what dad had typed back. I actually had a copy in my draft folder, but I am not doing too good right now. I was gonna send it and hit delete. Anyhow, I am still in pain right now. My shoulders don't feel good. My legs are not doing right. I know I did have major neck surgery back in March. OK. You should be surprised by both e-mails. In fact, mom and dad won't like what I am doing if they do learn about it. Regardless, nobody in the family seems to be understanding. I went to physical therapy on Tuesday.(1 day next and next week and next week) OK. I am tired and hurting, but I will finish up first. I did take Tylenol while I was on break, but it did not help much.(nope) I could hardly stand up some of the time while I was at work. (last shift)(like prior to surgery)OK. I was in pain to the poin that I actually had tears at one point.(and even grunted over it) That is not good. I was not impressed. Cleaning all the whiteboards seems to be what starts it, but I may have had pain if there were no boards at all. What do I know? I do know John asked if I was 100% while at the restaurant. OK. I did say"no". OK. he did ask "Why not"? I did say"too much pain" OK. He said I would be OK. I was not the most impressed because I felt like saying that as long as there is no cure for interstitial cystitis that I would never be 100% again. He can read it as well. I do know ya'll are bigwigs and travel here and there and have a ball. That is good to know. I do know John is a boss with the power to hire and fire. Yep! I am not saying anything bad now. I use to travel down to Savannah on some Saturdays.(even some Friday nights) OK. I use to have more energy back then.(and motivation) Oh! I did good to make it the last home football game and the class reunion one week earlier. Yep! I probably won't wake up feeling much better than now. What a bummer! Hey! I get by. Dad did say we are all different. Geez! I have been sleeping like a big dog, but I still have to take Provigil in order to make it through the shift. Yep! My working partners have been tired a lot lately, too. One of them even takes Tylenol because of arthritis, but she has said I look like I am hurting worse than she is. OK. Both of them have said I look like I am just going to fallout. OK. They have both said I look like I should not be at work any longer.(like on disability) They have not said that every shift during the current week, but they also said they don't want to find me on the floor because of my legs giving out on me. I can tell they are concerned about me. I am supposed to do some exercises at home as well. I was gonna try on Thursday, but I was tired and hurting and knew I had to make another shift.(or try to) OK. Every shift lately has not been as bad on me as the last one. (where I clocked out an hour ago) Oh, well! Dr. Graham did say he could send me to get a work evaluation, but I could tell dad did not like that idea. (and have further noticed it) Oh, yeah! The foreman does know, but he said that he was told I was back full-time with no restrictions. Hey! That was on the last note sent to him. That would be correct. Oh! I gotta get offline and get some sleep before I just have a cow now. Typing is making my shoulders not calm much yet. I am walking a tad better by now. I will print out a copy just like I did with the other one prior to hittting delete and then send. At least, I did keep the one that came back with dad's message on it. OK. I am sorry I am not a bigwig like the rest of ya'll and that I am not in good shape and probably won't feel like doing all too much that would be considered fun on the weekend, but I will do what I gotta do. OK. I am supposed to make it to retirement somehow. I don't know how right now. OK. I will let that be all now. bye
That was sent to one of my sister-in-laws on Friday, yesterday, at 3:26pm. Yep!

***ICNDonna*** · 10-16-2010, 01:03 PM

It sounds like you are having a very difficult time right now. I wish I could help.

Sending a warm hug your way,
Donna

**statesboro** · 10-20-2010, 05:48 AM

I don't know when you are going to read my e-mail. Regardless, I am at home instead of at work right now. My shoulders feel like they are on fire right now. Typing is even hurting me. I just want to let you know that I did go to work. Yep! Oh! I was in pain before I actually went. I forgot to take any pain reliever with me. I did get 2 Tylenol from one of my co-workers while on the 8:00 break. At least, she did have some because of her arthritis. Anyway, my legs were still messed up. I managed to work until the 10:00 break.(where I actually came by the apartment, here, and took a load off)OK. I went to Burger King and then back. I can't park next to the building because I don't have a hangtag at all. Some of the gates stay down. I had to walk across from another parking area. OK. I could barely stand up. My left shoulder usually borthers me more. I am feel more pain in my right shoulder right now. The same co-worker was in her vehicle on the phone. Ok. I actually had burger in one hand and drink in the other. (although shaking like I was having the shakes) OK. I fell down. (trying to step up on curb)(and still got stuff on my coat where I hit the ground) She just called the supervisor. Yep! She showed up. She said I look like I need to go home. OK. She said she better drive me over to the parking lot because I looked like I was gonna fall again. She said if I keep calling in and going home early that I may end up being asked to get a work evaluation.(because I could have gotten hurt then) Yep! Geez! I have been tired enough lately, too. I was told chronic fatigue syndrome by a nurse a while back. Mom and dad never bought that at all. I was told it was just depression making me more tired. OK. Dr Lichtman, the psychiatrist, was told later on. That was while I was still on the 11-7 shift. Anyway, he had said I was probably having shift work sleep disorder rather than chronic fatigue.(both real sleep disorders) OK. That is the reason why I can get Provigil. Of course, he actually had me on Cymbalta for a while, too. Mom and dad were at a few sessions and said I was needing some depression medication.(been off of it)(been told I don't need it any longer) What am I supposed to do? I have got to keep on working. That is just what I have been told. Something else could be going on with me. I don't know. (besides some sinus trouble now) I can't type much more. I feel like crying like I was doing as the supervisor showed up.(seriously) My current supervisor use to work with me. I worked good, too. (and hardly ever called in) She can tell I am not the same now. She has given excellence on my evaluations before. Yep! I am gonna print a copy now. Yep! bye
We found Dr. Graham's number. John has gotten you an appointment for Thursday, October 21st @ 10:15 a.m.

I am supposed to be going to phyisical therapy in a little bit. Yep! I woke up with my neck hurting again.(heating pad right now) Oh, well!

**KarenAnne** · 10-20-2010, 06:54 AM

states: You have not sounded this sad in a long time. I am sorry things are so bad right now & your family is not sounding supportive either. I was hoping your neck was healed & your legs back to normal. I guess it is a long process?

I am just going to throw out some suggestions. Alot of us have fibromyalgia. Could you get an opinion from a rheumatologist to see if you have developed it? Forgive me is you said in the past that you have that. Also, what does the surgeon say about your neck & legs? Is is going to take awhile to heal?

Could your dr. prescribe a more long acting pain med that will get you through work? Something like ultram or a script for a higher dose of motrin taken round the clock?

I just feel bad for you. You have been dealing with this for a while now & must be overwhelmed & disgusted. Your dad must realize that you are different from him. With all this post op stuff, you are dealing with IC too. I will keep you in my prayers. I hope something good happens for you soon healthwise, workwise, & family support.

***ICNDonna*** · 10-20-2010, 11:29 AM

I'm so sorry you're in the spot you're in. I hope you will be able to stay at home until you feel better. It's not fun working in pain! Have you seen your neurosurgeon recently? If not, I think that could be a good idea. The physical therapist should be able to give you some advice there.

You've been miserable for so long --- I hope you feel better soon.

Donna

**statesboro** · 10-21-2010, 04:51 PM

I went to the physical therapy place yesterday, but I just got heat put on my neck.(after mentioning about falling and that my neck was in pain then) Anyhow, my mother, sister-in-law, and I went to see the neurosurgeon earlier.(today) He was told about the fall and that my legs just felt weak at the time. (pain in neck at the time)(more weakness in legs) OK. He said that the damage has been done to my spine; therefore, I may have leg weakness and fatigue the rest of my life. Of course, I actually had enough tiredness, or fatigue, before. (maybe not muscle fatigue in the legs before) He said that the more that I have to use them, which I don't have a desk job at all, that they can get weak. OK. I am gonna have another MRI, even though we don't expect it will show anything being wrong again. OK. I go back again November 30th. Anyhow, he said he does not like to mention disability, but it is a possiblity. OK. My mother said we don't want that.(as I have been told more than once) Geez! Oh! I am tired and hurting now. He said he could send me to get a work evaluation. OK. Mother said we will do the physical therapy and the exercises at home and see if that does enough good because I have to keep on working. Yep! The doctor asked how long I could keep on doing it with all the pain. Regardless mother said hopefully until retirement. (for real) OK. The doctor said he would have to put me back down to 4 hour shifts then because of all the pain that I have been having lately.(approved and why I am home now) Hey! The doctor seemed like he was not sure I would make it to retirement, but my parents are still hoping so. Oh, well!

***ICNDonna*** · 10-22-2010, 02:22 AM

Maybe you'll do better with the shorter shifts. I hope so.

Donna

**statesboro** · 10-22-2010, 05:28 AM

I will not make it one of my longer posts, but I will state that I slept longer than I thought I was going to.(and got up once in between) Hey! It is just amazing I can do that, but I can't hold over 30 minutes while awake sometimes. Regardless, I am in worse shape than I was while typing my last post. Yep! Neck hurts more. Legs are not feeling good.(or working as good) My nose needs to be wiped right now. I am not a happy camper now. I am not functioning all too good. If I was retired like you are by now, then I probably would be doing better. (or if I had a desk job) You seem to be. I have to bend and strectch and stay on my legs while being a custodian. OK. I am gonna let that be all now. IC Awareness Month (not over yet)

***ICNDonna*** · 10-22-2010, 06:34 AM

If your doctor is encouraging you to go on disability, you might want to look into it --- at least to see how much you could receive so you can decide if it's adequate to meet your needs.

I wish I could help.

Donna

**statesboro** · 10-22-2010, 12:13 PM

He was not encouraging me to go on disability. In fact, he said he does not like to mention disability too much. My dad has told me more than once that they don't want me to be sitting at home on disability. OK. I stated that my mother had said we don't want that. By the way, the doctor acted like he was not sure I could make it to retirement, but he seemed to notice my parents still think so. He has got me back on 4 hour shifts because he can tell I can't handle full shifts all too good. My sister-in-law even agreed on the phone earlier that the doctor was acting like he could understand my pain better than my parents seem to.(even though my dad has had 4 back operations and whatever else over the years) Oh! My mother has asked on 2 separate occasions today if I have taken any kind of pain reliever or if I am just putting up with the pain. Come on. I don't want her to be asking again. I think I kinda made her aware of that. OK. I am doing a tad better than I was during the morning, but I am not pain free right now. My 2 co-workers were surprised I was back last evening, but they could understand why I am back on half shifts now.(as they know that I am really hurting and struggling at work sometimes)(and have had some pain free periods since I went back to work) Yep! You have said twice that you wish you could help. You went through the same type surgery, but you must be enjoying life once again.(or never stopped) You must be a happy camper as well. I do respect and love everybody that comes on the website. Oh, yeah! The doctor actually brought up the possibilty of getting a work evaluation with my father in the room and my motherr in the room once.(thinking I may need restrictions like no continuous reaching up) They both spoke up by saying we will continue with physical therapy first of all. I did not have time to speak up first. They don't want me and the doctor in the room without one of them as far as I can tell. Sitting here and typing is not making me feel any better now. You can get the picture now. They both thought that I must have tripped last Monday night, but I just fell all of a sudden. OK. I will do what I gotta do to get by. I don't wanna have another fall, but I wonder what they would have said and done if I had gotten hurt then. Yep! Oh, well!

**VickiB** · 10-22-2010, 12:32 PM

States, I hate to hear that you're having these problems. It's probably good that you're working a shorter shift. I'm sure the lost income isn't good, but your health and mobility is what's really important. It sounds like maybe they put you back on full time too soon! Or didn't consider that having a job like yours requires more physical activity than many other jobs do.

Vicki