22 with IC, Endo, and Crohn's

**melissalanette** · 12-06-2009, 03:42 PM

Well the heading pretty much says it all haha! I am 22 years old and have been diagnosed with Endometriosis, Crohn's disease, and now, as of last week, IC. I am in so much pain and I have no idea what to do or think about this new diagnosis.

I have been unable to maintain relationships because I am always too sick and having sex results in LOTS of pain for me, no matter what we try. I got dumped today because of that reason, and as he put it, "I need someone less.....broken". Yeah.

Is there hope to find a decent guy out there? Am I doomed to become a cat lady who is alone and scares the neighborhood children? I feel like because of my diseases no man will want me. I don't want children because of my fear of passing my genes to my children. I am in pain all the time and sleep when I can due to working graveyards.

I am a nice girl, funny, attractive, and smart. The one guy I want and love won't be with me because he is stupid and even though he likes me, he wants to be friends. grrr. I just need some hope that there are good guys out there!!!

**icgennifer** · 12-16-2009, 03:42 AM

Hi there,

There are great guys out there. I have IC and Endo and I have been in a relationship with a guy for 2 years. He was been with me through it all. You will find a great guy and trust me, they do exist.

If you do meet a guy and he cannot handle the illnesses you have, then he isn't worth your time in the first place. I am very honest with my boyfriend and he knows that I would be fine on my own if he wasn't around, but at the same time he knows that I love him with all of my heart. I do not make him stay in this relationship with me.

You are also young.. maybe age has something to do with it, as I am 28 and my BF is 33..

Feel free to PM if there's anything else you'd like to talk about!

**melissalanette** · 12-16-2009, 05:21 AM

Thanks for the reply!! It's just hard having lost everybody I love because they can't handle me at my worst. Even one of my rekindled friendships just told me that he doesn't want to hear me complain or vent about work or being sick, in any way. It just hurts because friends are supposed to be there regardless of illness or well-being. The one guy I love with all my heart wants to be with me, but it's never the right time....between my work schedule and his school schedule we would never be able to see each other. He accepts me for me, illnesses and all. He lets me scream, cry and let everything out and then he makes me feel on top of the world again. I just wish our schedules allowed availability to one another.

Again, thank you for the reply!! it makes me happy to know that there are decent guys out there and somebody who has the same diseases as I do has found an amazing guy who is supportive and compassionate!! Good for you!!!!

**VCNJ84** · 12-17-2009, 04:56 PM

There are some good ones out there.

My boyfriend is amazing. My mom does not approve of him b/c we have a large age gap...but I feel so blessed as he is BEYOND compassionate about my pain. I wasn't even trying to meet someone, we were friends first and it blossomed.

I have always had an attraction to older men...I am not purposely dating one b/c of the pain...but I could see how it may be easier for a guy in his 30s or 40s to understand than one in his 20s. There are always exceptions to the rule though. I am 25 and I know even before diagnosis, I have always had issues with guys my own age being overly horny.

Maybe if you're not interested in dating a guy over 30...look for a guy in his 20s who doesn't have sex as a top priority maybe for religious reasons. Try going to a young adult youth group or a dating site for your religion. May be better places to meet guys of this nature than in a bar setting per say.

**mary124** · 12-18-2009, 08:10 AM

There are great guys out there, I just think sometimes you have to search for them.
I have been married to the same man for 27 years-of course, I was healthy at that time, but within a few years I was seeing all sorts of doctors for my various health issues. There has been a few times that I would get down and tell him to leave because he doesn't "want a sicky person" but he told me that he married me for "better or worse, sickness and health" and that is where he is staying.