Thread: I need help please !
10-22-2008, 12:19 PM #1
I need help please !
I don't know what's wrong with me today. I woke up early today. Not normal. As the day has gone by I have gotten more and more depressed. Now to crying. I don't know why. Well part maybe cause now my husband is afraid to be close with me cause he doesn't want to hurt me. I haven't been able to go back to work so he goes in early comes home late and works on sat now to. The other day it was 6 and he called and said he didn't know it was that late. Besides just being told I have IC I also have MVP, IBS, and thyriod problems. When I was told I had IC I wished someone would just shoot me and get it over with. Oh I am also getting ready to have RF done on my neck. I have 2 disc messed up so they are going to burn the nerve endings hoping that will help. My husband and I just got married in Feb. So that has just been 8 months ago. He is only 39. I on the other hand am 44 and a grandmother. I have now one to talk to about how I am feeling. The one person I could talk to passed away 2 years ago. My grandmother. She was a very very brave woman. She had Chronic lymphoma lukemia. I more that likely misspelled that. So please forgive me for all this. I just need to vent someway at this very moment. Don't know when my husband will be home from work tonight. It is now 6:20pm. Again I am sorry if this is the wrong place for this.
10-22-2008, 12:26 PM #2
good place to post this. You are under a lot of stress right now. Sounds like you do have a very supportive husband out there working hard for both of you. Also, sounds like you are depressed. I remember 2 years ago always crying at work at lunch table etc.......... it for me is depression
Keep coming to these boards and posting to get support you will find lots of love on this board. It helps.
Try to take one day at a time. Advice from someone who lives with what if anxiety world but they tell me that in therapy.
Also, will your insurance pay for you to talk to a counselor, social worker?
Try and see if you can find a counselor who specializes in chronic pain or illness - mine does and he seems to understand well he knows more about IC then any other therapist I ever had. Vicky
10-22-2008, 12:38 PM #3
I have days like that too, and that long ago. My husband is also scared to touch me because with my IC I fibromyalgia. I have been in Alot of pain for the last year and a half I was fired and filed for disablitityand have been waiting for it for the last 1 1\2 and I have been down about that. My husband also has been working all the over time he can to help make up for my lack of income. I have had days were I have spent alot of the day crying and feeling very down.
Things get better and just make it through today and things will get better. Just take it day by day, and only think about the day you are in, if you too far ahead it does very depressing....
One day at a time...........Abdominal pain since 17 years old...
Hysterectomy April 2003 (for abdominal pain),Diagnosed with IC August 2003
Diagnosed with Pelvic Floor Disorder 2004,Had right ovary and fallopan tube removed 2005
Diagnosed with diverticulosis 2006,Interstim December 2006,Home Instillations 2007-not effective
Diagnosed with Fibromyalgia November 2007,Appendectomy February 2008,Interstim repair December 2008
Removal of the Interstim August 2011,6 Hydrodistentions from 2003-2009
Ambien 5mg for sleep.
Elivil 50 mg at bed
Lisinopril 20mg in AM
Effexor 150 mg
Oxycodone 5mg if REALLY needed for pain
Baclofen 20mg 2x a day
Phenazopyridine 200 mg as needed
Omeprazole 20 mg at night
Meclizine 25 mg as needed for dizziness
Ketorolac 10 mg as needed for migraines
10-22-2008, 12:54 PM #4
I am a Army Veteran and they do have people there I can talk to. It is about a 45 min drive to the VA. With me not being able to work at this time. Gas is a sore spot. Plus most of the time the therapist is only there on like the 1st and 2nd Sat I think. He is from the private sector. He has nothing to do with the VA. Bill my husband is very very kind man. He does call me at least 4 times daily to see how I am doing. And texts alot. I feel like I am failing him with all this. Funny story. We met on MySpace in July 07. Moved in with him and his kids that Aug. He proposed Nov 2 in the laundry room on one knee. Got married Feb 14. He picked the date. I never believed in love at first site till I met him. With just the one income things are tough. My mom has had to supply our food twice so far and bought us a tank of gas for the car. And my old boss gave us some food from her place. Subway. His paycheck for 2weeks that is how often he gets paid doesn't even come close to the rent money. He plays in a band to try and help with the money but this month it was a bust. He only has one gig. And they get paid by how many people come in. IF no one comes in they don't get paid. And I have some meds that the VA does not pay for, we have to and I couldn't even borrow 20 to get my pain meds. I feel like all I am now is a burden to him. And I love him too much to be that to him. The love we share for each other goes way beyond words can ever express. My son even cried at the wedding. He now has a father. He is 17 and his father doesn't have anything to do with him. He lives with my mother and stepfather cause this is his last year of school and I didn't want to take him away from all his friends. I just feel like I am a burden to Bill. He is too young to be stuck with a wife with so many health issues. I am a member of the IC's MySpace page you might be able to see our pic if you are a member . I just don't feel like I am being the wife he needs. On the plus side if you want to call it that . We both are unable to have our own children. But we both wish we could. If I had been tested back then I may not have had to have an hysto. Sorry can't spell it. Thank you for your reply. Guess I should call the womens clinic at the VA tomorrow and see about the depression thing. Oh the dr that diag the IC also thinks I maybe starting menopose. How ever spelled. I do stll have the overies.
Again thank you for listening to me ramble on and see all the words I have miss spelled. Lol
10-22-2008, 12:57 PM #5
Thank you. I will try very hard to take it one day at a time. I hope I will be strong enough. My husband and I pray ever night before getting into bed. I will just have to pray alittle harder.
10-22-2008, 01:40 PM #6
I am hoping some of the ladies on this board wiser in the areas of help that you need the resources for income, meds will post. My friend Claredele, Briza,
Donna ICN they can give you and guide you with resources to help you out.
I know Donna can suggest some things here for you. Lots of others to will chime in and try to help you get the things you need- drug asssistance etc.
Bless you. Vicky
10-23-2008, 12:51 AM #7
Please talk with your doctor about how you are feeling. It sounds very much like you may be suffering from depression --- and it can be helped.
Sending warm healing wishes,
DonnaHave you checked the ICN Shop?
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10-23-2008, 09:09 AM #8
I also want to encourage you to find a professional who is trained to help you deal with what you are going through.
One thing I do want to suggest...Talk with your husband. He may be just the person to help you through your feelings of being inadequate in the wife department. Sometimes we put our thoughts into what we think our spouses are thinking and feeling.
I hope you begin to feel better very soon.Sharon
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