Annoyed with a friend...

**stacey79** · 05-01-2008, 03:07 AM

OK, so this isn't really a big deal, but it's bugging me. I don't want to nag my husband about it, but I need to vent.

So he has a friend who lives one city over, which is about 20 miles away. This friend needs to have a medical procedure done in another city that is about 60 miles from us and 40 miles from him. He needs someone to drive him.

My husband lost his job last June. He's our primary income, so needless to say, money is beyond tight these days. So, he asked his friend to help with gas money. In our area, gas is $3.75 a gallon for regular. My husband's car uses premium, which is closer to $3.95. The friend offered $15. Uh, yeah.

So, I did the math. Without stopping by the friend's house, which will add a few extra miles, it's 114 miles round-trip. The car gets around 17 miles a gallon. That equals out to seven gallons of gas. $15 pays for four gallons -- actually a little under for the premium. The total gas cost will end up being around $27 just for this trip.

This friend is a bit notorious for not thinking about things like this. I don't want to be a nag. He and my hubby have been best friends since fifth grade. My husband doesn't have a problem with this. He said he only asked for the friend to help with gas, not pay all of it. Fine, but the only reason he's driving there is for the friend. It's not like they're doing anything fun. My husband says this is part of being a good friend, which is probably true. It's just irritating me this morning.

My hubby and I have discussed this in the past. So, now I just need to move on. If he's OK with it, then so am I. It's not going to break us exactly, it just irritates me. I had to vent a bit. I don't think I'm overreacting. I know I'll calm down about it later...

***SharonA*** · 05-01-2008, 03:12 AM

I am glad you chose to come here to vent about this. Feel free to do that anytime. We are hear to listen. (((Hugs)))

**crazy_beautiful** · 05-01-2008, 03:24 AM

I too am glad you vented it out, its amazing how people think that giving you 5 bucks to drive them someplace way out of the mpg range is ok.

***ICNDonna*** · 05-01-2008, 04:58 AM

If the friend doesn't drive, he may not know how much the gas is going to cost.

Donna

**stacey79** · 05-01-2008, 05:37 AM

Good point, but he does drive. He actually commutes to that city daily for work. What he's having done is a minor procedure on his eye, so he can't drive himself home.

**leelee88** · 05-01-2008, 07:15 AM

With the way gas prices our now I can understand your complaint.. Maybe he is thinking what his car would use.. Because his prob uses unleaded..But still he should consider that yall's uses premimum. This is a touchy one.. But it is your husbands friend..But like you, I would still be a little bothered..

**GriffsMommy** · 05-01-2008, 07:58 AM

I can see how that would bother you. Money is tight for us right now and we do have two incomes coming in. I always tell my MIL who uses are car as well that if she's going anywhere far away like to see her sister which is half an hour away that she's got to put the gas in the car to make up for the gas she uses for the trip or she can't go. Now that I'm not going to see my specialist every week we can make a tank of gas last over a week because the car only gets driven to hubby's job and out to do grocery shopping mostly.
I know that guys can be very firm about this type of stuff though, it's their friend, they want to do it, once they make up their mind they don't want to talk about it anymore. I'm glad that you could come here and vent and get it out since it sounds like it's already a done deal.

**stacey79** · 05-01-2008, 10:27 AM

Thanks you all for listening. I knew that I just needed to vent. It's not something that's going to destroy our relationship or anything, but it is something I needed to get out. They actually got back early. Turns out the doctor had been trying to get ahold of the friend to say that he wouldn't be in today, so he didn't even have the procedure done! I'm not sure when he goes back or if my hubby will take him again. It also depends on whether my husband finds a job before the next appointment. Boys.

I think I was a little extra sensitive this week because one of his other close friends is getting married Saturday. We had to pay for a haircut ($10) and then the tux which was like $140. Sometimes I get a bit stressed about that kind of stuff...

Thank you all for being here, though, and letting me vent. You guys rock!

**jaime15** · 05-03-2008, 01:55 AM

Stacey,
What if your hubby drove the friend's car? Then you guys aren't out of anything.
Any time I have asked someone to drive me to an appointment, I tell them to drive my car because they have already used their gas just driving to my house.
Just a thought......

**stacey79** · 05-03-2008, 04:47 AM

Yeah, we thought about that, too. Basically, this friend is a slob when it comes to cars. I know that sounds lame, but it's true. He's had the car for at least four years and has never washed it. Even when he got married a couple of months ago and we wrote with the windshield marker on his windows, he got out all the stuff, but only cleaned the windows!

The next appointment is on Monday, so my hubby is taking him again. (It's also my husband's birthday.) I think it will be OK. His friend has already said that he'll give him gas money again. I have calmed down about it, which is a good thing. Plus, we had a little extra money come in for our birthdays and I just got a new freelance project that will help.

I appreciate you all being here. Sometimes you just need to vent and get it all out!