Thread: dont know?
05-28-2006, 05:16 PM #1
the one thing i wanted more than anything in this world was to become pregnant someday. unfortunately it didnt come the way i expected. i was told i would never have kids and then bam im pregnant while on birth control with someone im not married too and not in love with. he doesnt want me to have the child. neither do my parents and i just feel so alone. i always wanted to have a child but im only 23 and there is so much pressure coming from everyone. i want to become a cop someday but im afraid that i wont be able to accomplish that with a child. but i dont believe in abortion. im afraid i will be alone for the rest of my life if i do have this child. im supposed to be happy but i dont know what to do. if anyone has gone through this or can relate please let me know. i really need help! i feel so alone. i also struggle with depression and bi-polarism so im afraid how this might effect me either way i decide. please help
05-28-2006, 05:25 PM #2
Please talk with a professional. You have some important decisions to make and I don't think it's a good idea for you to try to make those decisions without professional help.
Sending warm hugs,
DonnaHave you checked the ICN Shop?
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I am not a medical authority nor do I offer medical advice. In all cases, I strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.
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05-28-2006, 06:26 PM #3
You'll find varied opinions on this for sure....
One thing I would suggest, if you believe in a Higher Power at all, is to pray and ask for direction. I believe we get answers that way - sometimes directly through prayer or meditation or by sitting quietly in nature. Sometimes the answers come through other people or in something we read. Listen to your gut when you are making these big decisions, OK? I believe we can tune in to what is best for us and for those we love by doing that. Please talk to people in your life who you respect and who seem grounded and listen to their feedback. Consider ALL options, OK?Kim
Diagnosed August 2001
Current IC meds: Elmiron (since 2001), Levaquin (one pill after intercourse to prevent UTIs), Effexor (for depression & anxiety)
Past IC meds: Amitriptyline (Elavil), Hydroxyzine (Vistaril), Detrol LA, Lexapro (for depression & anxiety, but also helped my IC) (They all helped, but I was able to discontinue them.)
My IC story: http://www.ic-network.com/patientstories/kim.html It's very outdated now. I've been virtually symptom free and able to eat & drink whatever I'd like for about 8 years now.
“We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms -- to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.” ~ Viktor Frankl
“You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.” ~ Brian Tracy
05-29-2006, 04:35 AM #4
- Join Date
- Mar 2006
- south of England
Well firstly im sorry for what your going for. But let me tell ypu a little about me in same senses i can relate to you firstly i ca have children even those i have had two miscarriages with my husband i am pg now for the third time very early on but im hoping all will go well.
I had my first baby when i was 20 5 days after my 20th i was unwed but with the man and i loved him so much and we were to be married he was my life my best friend but 13 months later 8 weeks before the wedding he got up and walked out on mine and my little girls life. This was hard raising a baby so young but i got through it and met some one who ive been with for 2 half yr and been married to just over a yr he his my world and now i see i have the best manof all i guess what im saying is only cause you would have a baby i personaly dont think it would hold you back from having any future relationships and also i suffer very badly with depression its been hard my husband is great and i sstill find my past very hard. My only advice to you is do what you wont to do and please speak to a professtional about this get some proper help. And as for being a cop only cause you would become a mother your live does not end you can still do things like that just maybe a few more hurdles to jump. what i have said are only my views and i feel others will or may think different. But i can not stress enough i am not a professtional so please read this with a open mind and please please talk to some one you need the support.
Love and hugds to you Emma xx
05-29-2006, 12:04 PM #5
- Join Date
- Jul 2001
My thoughts and prayers are with you as you struggle to figure out how this pregnancy works into your life.
I know you will make the best decision for you and your baby. Just remember you are an IC sister and we are some very strong women...................Tons of support,
IC angel helping families in need for the holidays. firstname.lastname@example.org
06-06-2006, 05:41 PM #6
- Join Date
- Oct 2005
Please don't forget to consider adoption. I know it sounds so difficult, but it could be such a huge blessing for your child. Imagine being able to give your child a stable life with two parents who love each other and want that child more than anything. I truly believe that women who give their babies up for adoption are the most unselfish people on the planet. Like someone else mentioned, it will help to pray about it (If you believe in a higher power)
I am sure you will be a wonderful mother someday. And if you decide to keep your baby and raise him/her on your own you will give everything you can. Just try to be honest with yourself about what you have to offer this precious, innocent child.
Whatever you decide I am sure you will have the full support of everyone on this board, including me
I will be praying for you!
06-06-2006, 06:03 PM #7
- Join Date
- Jul 2005
You can do whatever you decide to do. You will make it all work out. Everything is going to be fine. You are strong enough to handle whatever life brings your way.
When I look at my life, it is my children that make it truly meaningful.
You will find the answer deep within you. Don't let fear get in your way. You are a strong person.
06-06-2006, 06:58 PM #8
- Join Date
- Jan 2005
- Boise, Idaho
I'm not a huge fan of Dr. Phil, but once in awhile, he really hits home for me. He dealt with a family with a young daughter who was pregnant, and was trying to consider all of her/their options.
What he told her was this: Make your decision, whatever it is, and live with it for one week. Abortion? For one week, that is what you're going to do. Period. Live with it, feel the emotion, don't second guess the decision.
Week two... Adoption. Same rules- live with it, feel it... then? What if you were to keep the baby... live with that to, for a full week. You can't make a life changing decision in a minute, you truly have to "live" that decision to know what's right for you.
And- you have to make that decision, whatever it is, knowing that it's the best thing for you, and this baby, right now at this moment. Not "What about 10 years from now?" None of us know what the future holds, we only have today to go on, and yesterday to learn from.
None of us can make this choice for you, and none of us will be there to help raise that baby if that's what you decide to do, but we are all here with you right now, supporting whatever decision you have to make.
No judgement, we aren't walking in your shoes... but don't let fear make a choice you may regret later. You CAN raise a baby alone. You CAN live with adoption, and you CAN make the decision to terminate. It's your life, your future, and only you know what's best for you.
We're here for you, and whatever you decide, if you have questions, need direction, or just need a hug, you can always come here. I wish I was there to hug you in person, but you definately have my thoughts and prayers.
06-07-2006, 08:16 AM #9
I'll also be praying for you. This seems like a miracle to me, since the drs. told you you would never be able to have children. I am always encouraged by stories of women who have wanted to have a baby and become pregnant despite being told they were not able to conceive.
Many single mothers have successful careers, and you could make it happen, too!
Also, many single mothers meet and marry wonderful men who become fantastic stepfathers.
God bless you!
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