Life is passing me by

**TexasHoney** · 01-01-2005, 07:19 PM

Well,I missed out on all the new years eve fun. My bladder held me hostage once again. I am soooooooo tired of this crap. I am becoming more and more depressed. My meds don't seem to be helping me at all. I have virtually no social life right now. If I don't get back to work soon I may lose my job. I am on unpaid leave right now but I don't know much more patience my boss has left. I am so depressed. If I lose my job I will have to move back in with my parents. Life seems to be passing me by while I am on the toilet. I hate being sick all the time. I can't sleep more than 3 hours at a time without my poor diseased bladder going into a major tantrum. I am sick and tired of bieng sick and tired. I am begining to ramble a bit so I'll stop "whining until next time"
I just needed to vent. Thanx for reading.

**andcohen** · 01-01-2005, 10:57 PM

Hi Texas Honey.

I don't think we have talked before but I thought I would just drop in & try & cheer you up :woohoo: Which is probarly a whole waste of time cause I feel like crap too. Mabey two people feeling like

may be able too help one another???
I don't want to sound like a doctor but do you take anything for depression? I have a different times over the years but always went back off them mainly for Hubby's sake ( no sex drive what so ever) poor thing. Anyway now a few years on when I was told the could help pain wise I'm affraid the sex thing didn't even get a consideration

I don't think that they help much pain wise but I do sleep better during the night. But the problem is I still feel lously during the day. I thought this side effect had finished but now its back again, mabey I will try & lower the dose.
What other meds are you on???
I sort can relate with you on the work issue. I have a 2yr old son so I only work 2 days a week. Which is more that what I could do before I had him.
Have things have been getting worse with IC so have just given notice at my hairdressing job. ( I still work 1 day for a repping company) I thought I would feel releif from not have the pressue of the extra day at work but instead I feel like a big fat failur, not even being able to hold down the job I wanted so bad. Although I was there for 3 yrs only part time & casual.
Its amazing how much you miss little things like being able to go to work when there gone

Anyway enough of my rambeling I am trying to cheer you up, I guess I was just trying to say I understand a little of how you feel.
One of my five thousands new years resoultions this year was to try my hardest not to dwel on the down side of IC There are so many things I know I can do to improve my situation, LIke diet for a start. I have decided that this years is going to be my year & it has to start with me, MY goal is in 6 months time I as a whole will start to feel healtheir & hopefully have less Ic problems ( hey just a day here & there with out pain would be nice)
DO you follow the IC diet?? if so does it make a big difference?
WEll I better give you a rest for now, if you need to chat go right ahead
I hope do start to pull out of this yuk place youre in right now & can get back to work soon. Mabey when you are well enough they might let you just do a few hours here & there until you gain your strenght back abit.
Thinking of you
Andrea

**Dixiefireball** · 01-02-2005, 02:14 AM

Hey hon sorry you had such a bad news years my wasn't much better i stayed at home too. it wasn't just my bladder not behaving i had other issue too.
don't give up you will find the right treatment for you soon then you will be free to do most things you want.
Don't give up hold that chin up high and know that you are going to beat this. which when we are hurting that sounds like that is farest from the truth i ever heard but i do know there is remission.
I'm fighting to get back there and I AM GOING TO GET THERE. YOU CAN TOO BELIEVE!
sorry about yelling (lol) but I want you to know there is remission and you will reach that gold.
sending you hugs and prayers
Rhonda

P.S
hon i think you might want to be checked for a u.t.i. to be on the safe side.

**ICNJess** · 01-02-2005, 05:41 AM

Hi Texas,

I am sorry you are having such a rough time.

Sometimes, when people's meds stop working, all it takes is just a re-adjustment of meds--like switching around doses, trying new meds, etc. You should talk to your Urologist about why your meds aren't working, and maybe between the two of you, you can figure out a way to get some relief.

I hope things look up for you soon.

Hugs,
Jess

**Raelyn** · 01-02-2005, 01:45 PM

I was in your shoes last New Years and my resolution was also to find relief for my IC. I spent hours on the internet searching for info and read many health books. A book by Amrit Willis really started me on a path of relief. pH tape is a must have along with an alkaline diet. Good luck to you.

**ibtracy** · 01-02-2005, 03:02 PM

I stayed home with my girls and my hubby went out to a party and I spent the evening talking online to Dixiefireball most of the evening. We kept eachother in good spirits. But I also know how you feel about life passing you by, some days it seems that way. IC isn't any fun and there's nothing we can do to take it away. We can only pray for a cure. I hope your New Years is better which each new passing day. Keep your chin up and if you need us, your whole ICN family is here, remember that.

Sending a big new years hug

Tracy

**TexasHoney** · 01-04-2005, 07:20 PM

I got a one week extension on my leave of abscence. My boss has been fairly understanding but he has been very stubborn on the idea of letting do some my clerical and computer work at home. He also said he may have change my status to part time if I don't stop missing so much work. If that happens I would't lose all my benefits but they would be reduced. This is sooooooo frustrating. I am thinking about looking into some work at home jobs. This horrible disease is really changed my personality. I used to be very outgoing and now I feel like I am just a fraction of my former self. Simple tasks like grocery shopping have become a chore due to the CONSTANT

GOTTTA GO, GOTTA GO, GOTTA GO RIGHT NOW FEELING. I am only 33 years old and I am becoming a shut-in. I don't know how much more I can take. I sure wish they would find a cure for this crap. To anwswer Andera's question about the IC DIET I have been following fairly well. I have given up several of my favorite foods such as pizza, tomatoes, mexican foods and Dr. Peppers. I drink more water now than I ever have. Nothing seems to help. I am taking more meds than ever. LIke Jess said I guess I need to have some of them changed. I have got to get some relief soon. I have been flaring now for 2 months

I hate living like this.

IC SUCKS!

**ICNJess** · 01-05-2005, 09:34 AM

((((((Texas))))))

I hope all you need is just a re-evaluation and adjustment of your meds. Maybe it'll work--keeping my fingers crossed!!!

Hugs,
Jess

**July** · 01-05-2005, 11:49 AM

I'll keep you in my prayers.

It is hard when life takes an unexpected turn opposite of what you thought.

**trytosmile** · 01-05-2005, 01:47 PM

Hi Texas....

Vent away. I too spent New Years at home because of a flare. It wasn't so bad, we rented movies and just relaxed. Keep plugging away, I know easier said than done. I've had this going on 7 years now and I'm on my 18th treatment. It even took them two years to diagnose it as IC. Some of the treatments I've tried twice now but nothing is giving me any significant relief. My urologist calls me his "pain in the butt patient"...lol. Atleast we put some humour in it or I would have given up long time ago. I too suffered from a depression and I am now taking Clonazpan to help get me through the day. Another drug wasn't want I wanted but if it helps then I'll take it.

Hope you find some relief soon. Maybe a good long talk with your doctors or another opinion will help.

**mayray518** · 01-05-2005, 03:47 PM

I know what you mean Texas. I felt like life was passing me by also. I lost my job and condo due to IC. I got IC at 38 and didnt get better until 46. Now I am back to work. Keep the faith, you will find something to work.

**Rosalie** · 01-05-2005, 11:22 PM

Hang in there TexasHoney. We all have some pretty down times but you sound like you're having a bad one. Don't disregard getting some help for the depression. You may only need to take it till things settle down.

I had a lousy New Years as well but this time it wasn't my urethra. My antisocial hubby didn't want to go out,( first year when the kids weren't home) so we watched a dvd instead. I swear I won't be doing that next time. Old grumpy bum can stay at home. I'm going out!
Andrea. I'm sorry that you aren't feeling too good. I hope you cheer up soon. If all else fails.. check out that hunky hubby of yours! That should make you feel better HaHa. PS we've gotten a bit slack on the Aussie site!