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rjyoon
08-18-2004, 08:27 AM
I met a woman in a fibromyalgia support group, and we got along well. When I was getting ready for Interstim surgery, she volunteered to help me. Went to doctor’s appointments, drove me to & from the hospital, stayed with me overnight after the surgeries. At one point, she asked me for Vicodin (she knew I had it due to the surgeries) & I refused. I was on a bit of an alert after that, and while her actions were occasionally odd, I didn’t think she was stealing from me.

Last Fri. she concocted a strange reason to get together, and then wanted to “look at my books” while her husband, my husband & I chatted out on the patio. I had a weird feeling about her request, but decided to let her do it. After she left, I immediately went to check that the Vicodin was still there. (I no longer take it.) When I couldn’t find the bottle right away, I decided to stop looking. MISTAKE! Yesterday I really dug out the mess that is my hall closet, and found the empty bottles (yes, she took at least 200 tablets) in a place I’d never put them. I struggled with what to do, called the police as I was worried she’d try to commit suicide (she’s unstable in her moods). I got a call back from the police wanting a physical description and they told me she’d been admitted to the hospital on Sat. for shortness of breath. I was pretty upset, disposed of other expired drugs & drugs I didn’t need any more, shredded prescriptions I didn’t need any more, locked up my drug bottles, etc. After I went to bed, I realized that I hadn’t checked my current medication, and yes, she stole some of that also.

I don’t want to prosecute her, as the monetary value is so low, it’s not a bother to replace it, and I don’t have the time to spare from my job search. At the same time, I’m just so mad at her – but I know it wouldn’t do any good to tell her off, as drug addicts will just lie. I feel so stupid for trusting her when I could tell something wasn’t quite right.

Thanks for listening.

jaime15
08-18-2004, 08:40 AM
You did the right thing by contacting the police. Someone who is dishonest like that could've said she "bought" them from you. So you were right to let the authorities know upfront.
I hope you don't have a problem getting your refills early. Some insurances won't refill if it's not time to. With your police report, hopefully you can get that taken care of.

I'm glad you were so ahead of her game. And I'm glad you no longer have to put up with her.
Hopefully she can get some help.......Hugs to you Rjyoon. :angel:

Dixiefireball
08-18-2004, 08:43 AM
My heart goes out to you. Please be careful.
Also
Please make sure the police keep a record of this in case this ever happens again to anyone by this person.
sending you hugs and prayers
Rhonda.
:pray:

SharonA
08-18-2004, 08:47 AM
I am so sorry you were so mistreated by this person. It is horrible that you can not trust people to not take advantage of situations for their own motives. :shake:

Katrina
08-18-2004, 08:55 AM
I agree....to me it looks like you did what you could to be a good a friend untill you were sure what she had done...than you did the right thing and called the pollice....that was the best thing you could have done for yourself and her. (((((big hugs))))).......I hope everything works out well for you. I hope she gets the help she needs.

I am so sorry this happened. Remember her actions are not your fault!!!!!!!!

Sending lots of hugs!

ICLori
08-18-2004, 09:51 AM
I'm so sorry this happened to you -what a terrible thing! I am sorry your "friend" is so sick with addiction that she did something like this to you. What an awful thing drug abuse is, and addiction.

You did absolutely the right thing in making a police report, it's very important to protect you and also I am hoping it will mean she will finally get help for her problem, as she desperately needs help.

Blessings, Lori

Iris
08-18-2004, 11:21 AM
Hi Riyoon, sorry to read the post about your friend. You did the right thing by letting the police know, and maybe she can get help with her addiction. I know you must feel betrayed by someone you thought was your friend, so sorry for you, hugs Iris. :grouphug: :flower:

kelly McC
08-18-2004, 01:28 PM
I am sorry what a situation. I have never thought about something like this happening. I have had a few people ask me for pain meds before and I always say no. Hope she can get some help.
Huggs,
kelly

JAMIEL
08-18-2004, 01:46 PM
That really is awful but in the long run you did her a favor...Maybe now she will be forced to get some help. Try not to feel too bad...it will only add to your stress and we all know what havoc that can play!!!

Lots of Hugs,

Jamie

ICNDonna
08-18-2004, 05:55 PM
You did the right thing in reporting this. It may be the single thing that will save her from herself. If I were in your place, I'm not sure I could ever trust her again, however, and I'd probably let her know.

Warm encouraging hugs,
Donna

kadi
08-19-2004, 03:15 AM
If you're not afraid to tell her for any other reason than that you don't think she'll care, then I'd probably say something to her. It isn't your responsibility whether she "gets" it or not or whether she changes, but if you're still going to the same support group, it may prevent her from going back there & putting you in the awkward position of having to warn other members about her.

If on the other hand, you're concerned about your safety, since she has your address, etc. then go with whatever the police advise you to do.

So sorry this happened.

Sarojini
08-19-2004, 03:21 AM
This is a really terrible situation. I am so sorry it happened to you! I believe you did the right thing in contacting the police, though. I think probably if I were in that situation I would have to limit or even end the relationship with her... I would not be able to trust her again and I find it really difficult to continue hanging out with people I do not trust. I would definitely lock all my meds up if she ever came over again!!!

RedLione
08-19-2004, 06:29 AM
I feel so stupid for trusting her when I could tell something wasn’t quite right.
I know what you mean; that still, uneasy voice inside. But the experience has made you the wise one: no one will ever pull something like that on you again because you've learned to pay close attention to your instincts and BECAUSE YOU'VE LOCKED UP EVERY ASPIRIN IN THE HOUSE! :lmao: Actually, I think you handled the whole thing like a professional, plus you may have saved her life if the hospital had no idea what was really wrong with her. Stupid? Nope, you're definitely not the stupid one here!

donutgirl
08-19-2004, 11:12 AM
Goodness...she certainly sounds like she has some experience and may have done this before. Knowing that you were going for surgeries, etc. and that pain pills would be involved, she moved right on in. You definitely did the right think in reporting her and you were not stupid for trusting her. She thought you were.....but she was WRONG!

DIANE

crystilclear
08-23-2004, 05:04 AM
I'm sorry that this happened to you. I was thinking about that the other day. Not only did someone steal from you but you lost a friendship too. Better now than later who knows what other things she might have tried to steal from you. It is a shame that people do those things. I hope she gets help for herself. Be careful and trust your instincts. I hope that everything will work out for you. Take care - Chris

rjyoon
08-24-2004, 12:23 PM
Thanks for all the support. Later, I checked other medications, and she also stole at least 112 Xanax. Fortunately, she stole generics & expired medication, so my financial loss is about $15. Also, she stole a medication where my dosage has been greatly lowered recently, so I won't have any trouble with refills. To put it mildly, our relationship is OVER except for whatever I get into my head to yell at her if she has the gall to ever contact me again. I have warned the support group facilitator about what she did, so if she ever "volunteers" to help again, the facilitator will intervene. Yes, I think she was experienced to come up with the lies she used.

I've locked up every prescription medication in the house that I'm not currently using. It won't be easy for anyone to find, including me, but I guess that's the price to pay.

rjyoon
08-30-2004, 09:55 AM
My "friend" left a message, wanting me to come to lunch & go for a swim, acting like nothing had happened. I called her up & told her that I knew she'd taken the medication & that I didn't want any more contact with her. This was fairly diplomatic, as when my husband heard what I wanted to say, he suggested that I not make her really mad, and I decided he was right about that. Hope I never hear from her again.

aantol73
08-30-2004, 10:23 AM
(((((OMG)))))
The nerve of her. Did she really think that you wouldn't notice all of medication gone? You definitly did the right thing. And I know it is hard when a "friend" steals from us. When I was in college my fiance and I let a girlfriend live with us due to the fact she was down on her luck and just went through a bad break-up. I was working as waitress, I started noticing cash missing, at first just thought my fiance had taken a $20 here and there for cash, no biggie. Then my pain meds and anxiety meds were needing to be filled before the refill date. My fiance said he hadn't been in my money or pills, so I put them in lock box and hide it. While my fiance was out of town, I tested her, I left the box out with a piece of tape on the back of the box so I would know if it was opened. Needless to say she failed the test then lied to me and said it wasn't her.... well no one else was in our house. I gave her 24 hours to get out or would I have her arrested. I never heard from her again......

rjyoon
09-02-2004, 03:21 PM
Now she's emailed me, begging to apologize, saying she feels ten times worse than I do (I doubt that!), saying she's my friend, plus attached a sappy forward on friendship & the need to forgive. Sorry, I'm not playing along with that game! As far as I'm concerned, she's just trying to get me to drop my guard so she can steal from me again. Wonder what she'll try next. I doubt that she's done trying to get back with me.

donutgirl
09-02-2004, 03:46 PM
:yikes: Good gracious! She has a serious problem. Hang tough and stick to your guns.

DIANE

Judith56
09-02-2004, 04:06 PM
I was in a very similar situation. I had good friend that also had lots of health problems, but she was also an alcoholic and an abuser of pain meds. She kept switching doctors because she was not getting what she wanted from them. At the time I was dealing with her she was going to a wonderful doctor where I live who is very compassionate and is will prescribe adeqaute amounts of pain meds. My friend kept asking me to "spot" her by giving her some of my pain meds since she would always run out on the weekends, etc. I did it about 2 times since supposedly we were on the same meds. I would only give her one or two pills at a time and then wised up about what was going on. I At that time it was hard for me to get the pain meds I needed and told her so. I began to hide my pain meds when she over and and I broke off contact with her as she was also trying to take advantage of me in other ways. She did finally admit she had a problem and moved away a few years ago. Hoipefully she has gotten some help, but I really doubt it. I think you did the right thing and continue to hold your ground and refuse to have anything to do with her. I applaud you for what you have done. Judith

icnmgrjill
09-03-2004, 07:43 AM
This is so sad and one reason why I tell patients NEVER to respond to any requests for medication that come from "friends" online. You just never know if they are drug seekers or not. I think that you should demand that you get help and/or go into rehab. She's lucky that you haven't reported her to the police.

Jill