my fiance's pain

[jcw]

My fiance and i have been dating for almost two years. We have been sexually active for about 6 months. She was diagnosed with IC about 4 years ago. When we start having sex she is ok but after a few minutes into it she starts hurting so we never can hit the "good spot" b/c of her pain. She will hurt for about 4-5 hours. We are getting married in a few months and we both want a good sex life. Is there anything I can do or the doctor can do for us?????

[ICNDonna]

It can take a lot of experimenting to find the best positions, but it's well worth the effort. Also, extra lubrication is almost essential for an IC patient --- it does help.

Her doctor may have some other suggestions --- it's definitely worth asking.

Sending encouraging hugs,
Donna

[jen_dahling]

I think that it is also recommended that she try and pee before and after sex to help reduce the chances of infection. Also, an ice pack to the vaginal area along with some rinsing w/ water. Some women have even gotten an after sex Rx of one-dose antibiotic to reduce chances of infection.
Additionally, it is very common for the bladder to start swelling or initiate a spasm when having sex. The alternatives to actual penetration are recommended if she can't stand the pain. It can be a new adventure to see what works for the two of you!
Jen
:hi:

[vm]

If you haven't already read this, check out this section of the ICN Patient Handbook regarding sex:

http://www.ic-network.com/handbook/sex.html

[Melanie]

JCW,

You are going to make a great husband! Congrats on your upcoming marriage. My hubby & I were together for about 4 yrs before our wedding. My IC symptoms started just months after we started dating. Sex has always presented challenges for us.

I highly recommend Pelvic Floor therapy by a physical therapist if pelvic pain is an issue. Some therapists will even teach spouses/partners some techniques to apply at home. I go to PT once or twice a week. It has definetly helped to improve our sex life.

Of course, lubrication and trying different positions are very important steps. I also recommend experimenting w/ other intimate acts, not always penetration.

Best wishes to you both!

[PikkuMyy]

Thanks for coming here to ask - you care a lot for her. You should look at the Sex and Romance threads because there are many suggestions for positions, techniques, and remedies for pain, which she may not be doing yet.

[Cheryl529]

Hi JCW. It's great that your looking here for advice. It's very important that you be understanding of your fiance and patient. Try different methods and other suggestions the other members mentioned. :) Sometimes just clitoral stimulation with lube can be okay but be careful of the urethra area. Also, I've heard others say they switch to anal sex with their partners. Of course that can be painful as well I'm sure. lol. Good luck! :woohoo: