Grand RE-Opening of CLUB UTI!!!!!!!

[vm]

And the crowd cheers!!!!! ;)

Folks, we had to close shop for awhile to renovate and improve the amenities for our very special guests. Please, check in, relax and take the tour of the magnificent facilities.

As always, we have our hunky massage therapists for your PFD and general relaxation needs. We have hot tubs that are specially treated so as to not cause flares or infection for any of you that that is a problem for.

We have an outdoor pool with a lazy river. We have an indoor pool, as well. Each pool has a "bar" with Ic safe drinks. Wait a minute - we're in "la-la" land here ---- you can have REAL drinks here if you wish!!!!!

Our meeting and conversation rooms are equipped with the comfiest of recliners. Each recliner also has a massage feature.

If walking around is an issue we have motorized chairs you can use to tour the grounds. YES, they can be used on the beach as well.

So, check in. Here are the complimentary flannel PJ's, heating pad, bottle of H2O, and bunny slippers.

Thank you to our sponsors --- who make this all possible ---- enterococcous, e. coli, and all their friends. :D

[ICNDonna]

:kiss:
I'll have an IC safe mai tai --- on the beach.

But first, a double serving of lasagna --- with extra tomato sauce, please!

:thumbsup:
Donna

[vm]

You got it. Coming right up! :) Find a comfy lounge chair or hammock out on the beach and I'll send one of our most handsome waiters out with your order. ;)

[kelly McC]

Oh I love it :dance: count me in ! I'll take a extra large pepperoni and cheese pizza:D :hi: and a huge cold glass of coke !
Then I 'm off to soak of up some sun ! I'll take a slow gin fizz to start (lol)
Kelly

[creatingkarma]

Can we pee in the pool?

[Sarojini]

Ok, I want some of that pepperoni pizza :) And a BEER to wash it down with. Then for dinner I want some spicy Thai food and some nice wine to go with ;)

And as for peeing in the pool... in my fantasy land, I wouldn't even HAVE to pee ;)

[Iris]

O.K. I will take a margarita, and one of the hunks to bring it to me. Oh what a dreamy place to be for a while, it would be so good to have some really spicy food to go along with it. I am dreaming on, Iris, with smile on face,:) :thumbsup:

[vm]

All right, ladies? Who is over in the corner making out with the Italian waiter??? Hmmmm?

About peeing in the pool... We have special medicine here that makes you not have to pee for HOURS and it won't give you an infection. Sounds good, huh? ;)

[windwalker]

Hey Karma theres that one sign there "welcome to our ool, theres no P in it so lets keep it that way" ;) Besides I am in the pool!!!! Hey, anyone know where to get an IC friendly Frozen coffee????

[vm]

Someone on the boards said Starbucks has a "coffee-free" Frappucino. I don't think it's frozen, but it's cold. Hopefully she'll stumble on this and can tell you. I think she said it's called "Vanilla Bean"....

[windwalker]

Ya know, I did stumble upon that! I wrote it alllll down so when I am near a starbucks I can have something tasty, cause water aint tasty lol!!!!

[Jasco]

How about some nice juicy Brats, Mustard and BEER delivered by a great looking sexy woman for us men with IC.

[windwalker]

No reason we cant have this catered to the men of IC too!! ;) Have yourself a BEER! :)

[dyno]

I am so glad to see Club UTI open again. I think I can use some R&R. Just kinda that achy feeling in the pelvis. I know what caused it ;), and it will be better soon.

[vm]

Jasco - You got it, man. :) We have waitresses that will knock your socks off. I will send one your way in a hurry! ;)

[Dixiefireball]

Okay Okay ladies you can't have all the fun without me LOL. lets see I want a sub sandwish with all the toppings to start with Please don't forget the tomatos i want ex. lol and a big large coke with crush ice to wash it down.
then how about a good looking man for a back rub!;) Please hold my children back so i can relax at least a few hours
then a dip in the pool. Oh how nice and please hold all calls LOL.:) I don't want No More Stress during my nice lovely visit.

[jaime15]

Kim! Rhonda is on to something! We need a day care while we relax!:)

I want an amaretto sour and some chips and salsa to start....I'll be in a hammock with my bikini on waiting for my drink. (since this is a fantasy I am a fabulous size 6 instead of 12!:rolleyes: ;) So it's ok that I'm wearing one.)

[vm]

Ooooh, you're right. Daycare would be good. :) And LOl at your Club UTI bathing suit size. I like that a lot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was swimming at a "real" pool today with my boys --- wish that size change worked that way all the time. ;)

[dyno]

I think I want some Mexican food. Do you have any of that on the menu? Hot and spicy, throw in one of those fruity drinks with the umbrella's too!:)

[vm]

Not only do we have Mexican food, we have hot Latino men serving it. :thumbsup: Here, Enrique will set you right up! Gotta warn you - he;s a frisky one. ;)

[SharonA]

MMMMMMMM...Spicy with a Latino beat.:thumbsup:

One Pina Colada, please...extra large...no calories...fat free.

For dessert...one very huge double fudge chocolate cake with coffee ice cream...again, fat and calorie free.

Hey...can I bring my husband so I can dive into the "Pleasure Pool" without worrying about the painful "Bladder Sharks"? ;)

[vm]

Absolutely!!! Bring him along and have a good time in that pool. We do have suites with jacuzzis if you need a little privacy. ;)

[tigger_gal]

thank god club uti re-opened.. I was just going nuts... the local info line thought I was insane inquiring the number:kiss:
Brat

[vm]

Yay, you're here, Brat! We have a special little lounge just for you b/c we know life has been pretty darned stressful for you lately. You'll have your own staff of hunky men, a huge buffet, jacuzzi, fluffy bed, balcony overlooking the beach with a great view of the sunset, soft smushy recliner and a TV with every channel known to man and a full stock of DVDs.

Enjoy!!!!

[SheriG]

Excuse me, but at club uti, if I wear a bikini will my roles of fat hang over the sides? If so, I'll bring a one piecer so as not to make anyone cringe!:biglaugh: . By the way, I will confess, it was I who was mauling the handsome italian waiter...yum!!!:After we unlock lips long enough to eat/drink, I will have a margarita /rocks/salt!!! Then some of my home made salsa and chips!!!: :thumbsup: Thanks so much for reopening the club! Please save me a hammock in the hot sun, and when I am done w/ my massage (by the italian waiter, of course) I'll hop in that hammock and take a snooze, as the warm sun pours over me!:dance: Will be glad to see you all at happy hour!!!:party: Sheri G

[vm]

Sheri - We have the biggest hammock reserved for you and the hunky Italian waiter, you little devil you.:thumbsup: What's his name, by the way? Or did y'all skip right over that? ;)

[Dixiefireball]

okay guys im really haveing a bad day my bladder is now flareing for two days straight with no relief!!! the ice pack that goes into my husband lunch box feel on my foot and it may be broken if not it hurts like it should be and the kids has been a pain in the butt:toosh: today. So what can Club UTI do to cheer me up PLZ i need to be cheered up.:(

[lulu5]

Oh my...can I come too? I must admit, I do not have a UTI at the moment, but I have had many, many, many in my lifetime. Soooooo....I would like to cash in my "frequent flusher" miles for a ten day stay! Would you ask Enrique to bring me a cranberry vodka (grey goose please!) and a plate of Italian bread and bruschetta! Mmmmm...now I am salivating. I don't think my husband would appreciate the Italian man-handling, so I'll have to pass on that, but I would love to be there to live vicariously through you single girls!! This place rocks~:dance:
Mindy

[vm]

frequent flusher miles

LOLOLOLOL!!! I love it. :) Your order is on the way, girlie! :)

Well, Miss Rhonda. There is a special cabana on the beach for you, young lady. It has a comfy lounge chair and special service from our bar and restaurant. Great view of the beach and great view of our hunky waiters' pick up volleyball game. Yes, they are playing shirtless. ;)

[ICNJess]

ALL RIGHT!!!! Let's get this party started!!! I have been awaiting the re-opening for a long time now, and have stayed away from all IC evil foods just so I can gorge myself and be in good company when the flares begin hehe...

Well I am gonna go change into my bathing suit (the one at Club UTI that hides everything and accentuates only the best parts LOL). Be back in a flush...errr a flash. ;)

Thanks Kim, I am so glad I stumbled upon this. I sure have missed Club UTI!

[vm]

Yes, distribute ALL those wonderful bathing suits!!!! ;) We are the envy of non-ICers who wish they had access to such wonderful suits.

Glad you have room for the normally "evil IC foods" b/c we have a buffet table full of 'em here!!!!!! You can eat them with no fear or worry. :)

[terrierhead]

Have one of those gorgeous waiters bring me a bloody mary and a steak covered with blue cheese butter and a side of pasta marinara. For dessert, I'll have the super double chocolate bomb and an Irish coffee. Then, my husband and I can have a nice swim. I feel better already!

[vm]

LOL - you've got it, sistah!!!!! :)

[arcticfox]

Ooooh, never been here before. But I like what I see! I want to a nice cabana with a nice comfy chair overlooking the beach, no bugs, lots of sun, white sand.

Gorgous men serving me any food I ask for and vodka slimes with the little umbrella on the side. Go on a nice drunk, with noooo hang-over. Yuck!

Then I want to go shopping for hours straight on end without going to the bathroom. Of course everything is fabulous and on sale and is just my size.

Then I want to go scuba diving, exploring, hiking.

Oh I think I want to stay as long as I like. IN fact, I don't think I ever want to leave.

[vm]

I think your plan sounds very, very good, Arcticfox!!!! :) And you can stay forever if you wish!

[Dixiefireball]

Okay gals my right kidney is killing me today and i really need to relax do you think we can hire a very good looking rich man who will give me a good old fashion back rub but be very gentle.
Oh for the children can we add some viedo games in there area to keep them happy. lol. :bow: Please. because if the children are happy mom can be happy.
Oh lets add something for hubbys to do to keep them out of our hair also. lol

[IcyAngel22]

I am a newbie to Club UTI but it sounds wonderful. I'm going to book a massage after my soak in the hot tub with a cold lemonade and vodka. I love this la la land stuff. I feel like I really have a life when I'm here. Plus I love to goof around. We should get membership cards... I was just joking.