sexually frustrated

[kim mondro]

i realize that most of us can't enjoy the pleasures of sex but i am definately frustrated. i haven't been able to have sex in over a month and a half now and im only 21. im supposed to be having fun experiencing life experimenting and i can't do any of this due to ic. i have a high libido and so does my b-friend but ever since ive been diagnosed and it started hurting i cant anymore. im sure there are times that i can but im too scared it will hurt. the thing that sucks the worst is my b-friend is the best ive ever had and i cant even experience because of pain or fear of pain. i mean how am i supposed to get pregnant in the futrue and have kids if im too scared to have sex? can anyone help? any advice would be appreciated thanks
kim


:kiss:

[HillaryD]

I know exactly what you are going through and know how tough it is to deal with. I am 26 and my husband and I haven't been able to have sex in 6 months because of my IC. I know just how scared you are to try, because I am as well. We have tried 2 times in the last 6 months, but both times only lasted like 2 seconds because it hurt way too much. Both of our dex drives have dropped considerably, I guess because we aren't having sex anymore. IC is not easy and can be very trying on a relationship, but if you have a caring and understanding partner you will get through the tough times. I wish you the best of luck and will pray that you can get back to your normal sex life again soon!
:kiss:
Hillary

[Marlana]

I am sorry to sound personal, but I have never had pain with sex. Does it hurt after like a uti or before..I guess I should know what I may be in for. Thanks

[ICNDonna]

Marlana: If you don't have a problem with sex now, you very likely will not later either.

My IC was diagnosed in 1975 and I absolutely assure you that for most ICers it's possible, with communication and experimenting --- and lots of lubricant --- to have a satisfying sex life.

Donna

[kim mondro]

not to be too descriptive but im only 21 and trust me i have enough lube to go around. it doesn't help. its very painful with intercourse and i try to keep going for my partner and sometimes reach climax but most the time the pain outweighs the pleasure. i use to orgasm every time with my b-friend but along with my ic i have pelvic floor dysfunction and all my muscles are tight down there. i can't even put a tampon in there without it hurting. thanks for listening anyway. its just really frustrating especially at such a young age with such a high libido and so much life ahead of me. sex is supposed to be pleasurable but it isnt for me. maybe i need to see a doc and see if they can help me with that.
lova ya all, kim

[Jessica9379]

Does anyone have the kind of pain with sex, that its a sharp jolt right in the middle of you? It feels like my boyfriend went to far and hit something. It used to happen only once in a great while - but now it happens pretty much everytime ....

It hurts way too much to be something as normal has him hitting my cervix or something ... its got to be the IC, right?

[Sarojini]

Yes, sometimes I get that sharp pain. I think it is the IC too. My husband and I have found certain positions decrease the likelihood of that particular pain occurring, so we have been doing pretty well lately.

[PikkuMyy]

Hi Kim,

My suggestion is to get really well acquainted with all the forms of non-vaginal-penetration-intercourse alternatives :evilsmile

There are quite a few things you can learn to get very skilled at, and enjoy. Although I'm feeling well enough for the regular old thing, my husband and I got to do a lot of experimentation while I was sicker. It let us get to know eachother and ourselves better, and we found some new things we really like to do!

Make a visit to www.goodvibes.com and you won't be sorry!

[Melanie]

Try different positions. Lately, we've found the side by side (like spooning) is working well for us. I'm able to relax my pelvic floor muscles better in that position.

Also consider exploring physical therapy. It has really helped me tremendously. I swear my sex life would be completely non-existent w/o PT.

[Mimi-in-Chicagoland]

I have PFD and my therapist recommended kegels to relax the muscles. She also said that doing kegels during intercourse is a good way to relax the muscles and lessen pain. It works very well, and it turned out that DH enjoyed it too. :evilsmile

[kim mondro]

what is dh? i ve heard it in a few posts now

[PikkuMyy]

DH = dear husband

Quite a few message boards have acronyms like this to make typing easier and faster.

DW - dear wife
DD - dear daughter,

etc.

Oh, and there is this steel barbell (like a big version of the piercing ones) that is sold to help improve kegel muscles. They have it at goodvibes. You put it in your vagina and practice using your muscles to grip it, and make them stronger until you can actually hold it in their while upright (I'm not there yet.) It has a smaller end and a larger end depending on your size and comfort. I've been using it to practice my muscles to help make sex easier and get good at relaxing (the important part of Kegel exercises is that you learn how to relax after you clench, thus helping your pelvic floor muscles to relax and leave your poor bladder alone.)

Plus, I found it useful in helping me to "feel" how each part of my vagina felt in relation to my bladder - what spots feel uncomfortable, and which don't in a way that you can't do with your fingers. That way you can figure out which sexual positions would be easiest on your bladder.

[kim mondro]

i finally did it. i had sex last night and although it hurt it only hurt a little bit. i took some medicine beforehand and i think it prevented me from orgasming but its ok cuz it didnt hurt to bad and i pleases my b-friend. it was great like the first time all over again even though i didnt orgasm. so thanks for the advice.
love ya all, kim

[kim mondro]

i finally did it. i had sex last night and although it hurt it only hurt a little bit. i took some medicine beforehand and i think it prevented me from orgasming but its ok cuz it didnt hurt to bad and i pleases my b-friend. it was great like the first time all over again even though i didnt orgasm. so thanks for the advice.
love ya all, kim

[kim mondro]

i finally did it. i had sex last night and although it hurt it only hurt a little bit. i took some medicine beforehand and i think it prevented me from orgasming but its ok cuz it didnt hurt to bad and i pleases my b-friend. it was great like the first time all over again even though i didnt orgasm. so thanks for the advice.
love ya all, kim