View Full Version : :(
03-26-2012, 03:14 PM
How do I get over these feelings that no one is ever going to want me? I am 29 but feel 80. I was diagnosed when I was 16. This disease has crippled me physically and emotionally. It has become my existence.
Half the time I dont even want me. Forget about issues of sex and intimacy. Just the day to day is hard. Semi-serious, semi-venting.
I understand completely. I went out with a guy around Christmas time and quickly discovered that I'm already tapped out with just working and coping with my IC. It didn't work out with him, due to other issues besides the IC (age difference, his unemployment, his driving habits, the beginning of some controlling behavior, and some things he said), but the bigger lesson was I definitely realized dating with IC is not easy. And I'm not even talking about the sex part - but just the restaurant eating, coping with flares, fatigue, etc.
One thing I'd caution other IC patients about is to really pay attention to who the person is and how they behave, react to various situations. There were warning signs about the guy that made our relationship unlikely to work out from the beginning. But, because I felt so unworthy of a relationship because of the IC, I didn't pay enough attention to them, and we had drama when I called it off. Looking back at the situation, if I hadn't devalued myself because of the IC, I wouldn't have even considered dating him. Friendship? Sure, but dating, no.
I believe that in spite of my IC, I'm still a very good friend, family member, and employee. I lost some "friends" initially to the IC, but once I came to peace with it myself and learned to spot fair-weather friends, I now have amazing and loving people in my life. I'm just not sure I have the energy for dating and if I do, the guy would have to be a truly positive addition to my life, and not suck the life out of me. I'm tired enough already.
03-27-2012, 09:17 AM
I believe god has a plan for all of us and when the time is right he will put someone in your path, that will accept you as is.
03-29-2012, 03:57 PM
My ex couldn't handle my health problems. I divorced him, & thought I'd be alone. I met someone that I dated for a long time before we parted ways. I was alone for awhile. Then I met someone else, and we've been married for almost 8 years. When it's right, it happens, regardless of the IC.
03-29-2012, 04:17 PM
I think I was 35 when I met my husband.
At the time he asked me to marry him I said, "you had better really think about this cause I am falling apart."
He didnt realize how much I was falling apart : (
He is no real catch but neither am I any more.
Since the birth of our daughter ten years ago I have been diagnosed with IC, FMS, IBS, CPP, and others along with a few failed surgical operations.
Dont sell yourself short!
03-31-2012, 06:22 AM
Please try not to be so hard on yourself :( People who are worth it will come in to your life!!! There are many many people on here who have IC, and have successful relationships and marriages :) IC does not determine whether someone will want you!
There are SO many wonderful people out there who can and will look past an illness, hang in there.
What is working for you that you are using for your IC? If anything? I am so sorry you are in pain right now :(
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