Dixiefireball
06-01-2004, 09:07 AM
an unemployed man is desperate to support his family. His wife watches TV all day and his three teenager kids have dropped out of high school to hang around with the local toughs. he applies for a janitor's job at a large firm and easily passes an aptitude test. The human resources manager tell him, you will be hired at minimum wage of $5.15 an hour let me have your email address so that we can get you in the loop Our system will automatically email you all the forms and advice you when to start and where to report on your first day.
Taken back the man protests that he is poor and has neither a computer nor an email address to this the manager replies you must understand that to a company like ours that means that you virtually do not exist. Without an email address you can hardle expect to be employed by a high tech firm Good day.
Stuned, the man leaves Not knowing where to trun and having $10.00 in his wallet he walks past a farmers' market and sees a stand selling 25lbs. crates of beautiful red tomatoes He buys a crate. acrries it to a busy corner and displays the tomatoes in less then two hours he sells all the tomatoes and makes a one hundred percent profit. repeating the provess several times more that day he ends up with almost $100 and arrives home that night with several bags of groveries for his family.
During the night he devides to repeat the tomato business the next day. By the end of the week he is getting up early every day and working into the night He multiplies his profits quickly early in the second week he acquires a cart to transport several boxes of tomatoes at a time, but before a month is up he sells the cart to buy a broken down pickup truck.
At the end of a year he owns three old trucks. His two sons have left their neighborhood gangs to help him with the tomato business his wife is buying the tomatoes and his daughter is taking night courses at the community college so she can keep books for him, by the end of the second year he has a dozen very nive used trucks and emplys fifteen previously unemployes people all selling tomaotes he continues to work hard. Time passes and at the end of the fifth year he owns a fleet of nive trucks and a warehouse which his wife supervises plus two tomatos farms that the boys manage.
The tomato company's payroll has put hundreds of homeless and jobless people to work. His daughter reports that the business grossed a million dollars. Planning for the future, he decides to buy some life insurance. Consulting with an insurance adviser. he picks an insurance plan to fit his new circumstances. then the adviser asked him for his email address in order to send the final documents electronically.
When the man replies that he doesn't have time to mess with a computer and has no email addresss the insurance man is stunned. What you don't have email address? No computer? No internet? Just think where you would be today if you'd had all of that five years ago!
Ha! snorts the man. If i'd have email five years ago I would be sweeping floors at a large firm and making 5.15 an hour.
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A man spoke frantically into the phone. My wife is pregant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!
is this her first child? the doctor asked/
NO! the man shouted this is her husband!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Just recently some folks new to boating were having a problem no matter how hard they tried they couldn't get their brand new 22 ft. Bayliner to perform. it wouldn't get on a palne at all and it was very sluggish in almost every maneuver no matter how much power they applied.
after about an hour of trying to make it go they puttled to nearby marine a thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong a thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition.
The engine ran fine. the outdrive went up and down the prop was the correct size and ptic so one of the marine guys junped in the water to check underneath he came up choking on water. he was laughing so hard.
Under the boat. still strapped securely in place was the trailer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
If carrots are so good for the eyes how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway?
Sign in pet store...buy one dog get one flea.
if quitters never win and winners never quit what fool came up with Quit while you're ahead?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
hope these gave you a smile they did me when i read them out of the local news paper.
Taken back the man protests that he is poor and has neither a computer nor an email address to this the manager replies you must understand that to a company like ours that means that you virtually do not exist. Without an email address you can hardle expect to be employed by a high tech firm Good day.
Stuned, the man leaves Not knowing where to trun and having $10.00 in his wallet he walks past a farmers' market and sees a stand selling 25lbs. crates of beautiful red tomatoes He buys a crate. acrries it to a busy corner and displays the tomatoes in less then two hours he sells all the tomatoes and makes a one hundred percent profit. repeating the provess several times more that day he ends up with almost $100 and arrives home that night with several bags of groveries for his family.
During the night he devides to repeat the tomato business the next day. By the end of the week he is getting up early every day and working into the night He multiplies his profits quickly early in the second week he acquires a cart to transport several boxes of tomatoes at a time, but before a month is up he sells the cart to buy a broken down pickup truck.
At the end of a year he owns three old trucks. His two sons have left their neighborhood gangs to help him with the tomato business his wife is buying the tomatoes and his daughter is taking night courses at the community college so she can keep books for him, by the end of the second year he has a dozen very nive used trucks and emplys fifteen previously unemployes people all selling tomaotes he continues to work hard. Time passes and at the end of the fifth year he owns a fleet of nive trucks and a warehouse which his wife supervises plus two tomatos farms that the boys manage.
The tomato company's payroll has put hundreds of homeless and jobless people to work. His daughter reports that the business grossed a million dollars. Planning for the future, he decides to buy some life insurance. Consulting with an insurance adviser. he picks an insurance plan to fit his new circumstances. then the adviser asked him for his email address in order to send the final documents electronically.
When the man replies that he doesn't have time to mess with a computer and has no email addresss the insurance man is stunned. What you don't have email address? No computer? No internet? Just think where you would be today if you'd had all of that five years ago!
Ha! snorts the man. If i'd have email five years ago I would be sweeping floors at a large firm and making 5.15 an hour.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man spoke frantically into the phone. My wife is pregant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!
is this her first child? the doctor asked/
NO! the man shouted this is her husband!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Just recently some folks new to boating were having a problem no matter how hard they tried they couldn't get their brand new 22 ft. Bayliner to perform. it wouldn't get on a palne at all and it was very sluggish in almost every maneuver no matter how much power they applied.
after about an hour of trying to make it go they puttled to nearby marine a thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong a thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition.
The engine ran fine. the outdrive went up and down the prop was the correct size and ptic so one of the marine guys junped in the water to check underneath he came up choking on water. he was laughing so hard.
Under the boat. still strapped securely in place was the trailer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
If carrots are so good for the eyes how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway?
Sign in pet store...buy one dog get one flea.
if quitters never win and winners never quit what fool came up with Quit while you're ahead?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
hope these gave you a smile they did me when i read them out of the local news paper.