When do You Tell Someone?

[Car]

Ok, I'm sure this has been talked about before but when do you tell someone you're interested in about the condition? I've been spending some time with this guy, and I'd like to share more about what's going on in my life at the moment, but I don't want to scare him away. He's also really into hiking and camping and actually asked me to come camping with him and a few friends. I'd like to go, but am thinking I'd probably better decline until my bladder calms down a little. I'm gone hiking before without problems but I'm having a really bad week this week. Don't really want to be running into the woods to pee every hour while I'm up in the mountains. Thoughts?

[ICNDonna]

That's not easy to answer. When you feel comfortable telling him is probably a good time to let him know. It's okay to decline if you don't think you're up to camping --- and you could just tell him you're not feeling well. It has to be your decision.

Once he knows, it just might be easier for both of you.

Warm hugs,
Donna

[Car]

Thanks Donna! I'm going to see if I feel any better tomorrow but I may be better off canceling at this point. I cheated on my diet over the weekend and am really paying for it. I thought I'd maybe have a day or two of feeling bad, but now it's halfway through the week. Newly diagnosed and still figuring out how my body reacts to everything. It can be frustrating at times...

[skybluesoul]

Maybe it's just me, but camping just sounds like a nightmare for anyone with IC! If you end up going, he's going to find out whether you want him to or not because likely you'll be stressed, which may cause more frequency, etc. I would decline, and if you're feeling like it's too soon, don't say anything yet. I think Donna's got it right.

[Car]

Yeah, I told him I wasn't feeling well and it was probably a bad weekend for me. I actually went camping for 3 nights about a month ago with no problems. When I stick to the diet and treat myself right my frequency goes down to almost normal and I don't always have to get up in the night. This week has just been awful though, almost as bad as when it first started. Hopefully a few more days of taking it easy and I'll be back to normal again. I've learned my lesson though, no more sneaking coffee and alcohol into my diet... geez...

[h808]

i also wonder when i should tell someone. i feel like telling everybody because it's what's on my mind. i worry that it might scare some people away, but i guess that just weeds out the bad seeds early. maybe by being upfront about it i'll waste less time with people that are not invested in me.