To continue working or not?

[Melly]

Hi all,

It's me again. Been so busy at home and work, I haven't had a chance to write in. The baby is doing fine, and the IC has its occasional flares, which are tolerable at best. I'm in a conundrum at work. My motivation is waning there. I just don't feel appreciated there. And at times I feel criticized for trivial things. I have been there 10 years and just feel I need a break, but we're realy not in a situation that we can afford a break. My husband's job is uncertain, so there's some added pressure there, and the baby wasn't really planned (although I am really happy that our family will be complete). Sometimes I just want to call time out, and get off this crazy ride. I'm confused and don't know what to do -- continue to work. I felt really guilty about having Ellen in daycare (not now so much as when she was younger), and now having to go through that with another infant, I don't know if I'm up to it. I think the stress contributes to the flares. I just don't know what I want. I feel like I've overstayed my welcome at work -- they've been supportive through IC, through having Ellen, but I just don't feel that my contributions matter there anymore. Part of me really wants to explore other career options, and to leave it all behind.

I'm just confused, and feel that i don't have anywhere to turn. I feel like if I talk with my husband, that I will just break down in a puddle. I try to hold it together, but it's not easy. I feel like he and Ellen deserve better. I want to be satisfied and accept myself, but can't help but feel I am falling short.

Thanks for listening to me go on and on. I just wish I weren't so confused.

Melly

[jaime15]

Melly my advice would be:::if you have to keep working for financial reasons then look around while you keep your existing job. Nothing is going to feel good if you're not happy with what you do. I think if you start there then everything else, hubby, kids and your self esteem; will just fall into place:::::
You have to be able to take care of yourself. And if finding another job will take care of the stress, then you go for it.
I hope it all works out for you and your family.......Big hugs to you guys!
:grouphug:

[ICNDonna]

You may find that your husband is your biggest supporter. Even if you collapse in tears, I suggest you at least think about discussing how you are feeling with him.

Also, I agree that it might be time for you to move on to another job --- possibly something part-time to give you more family time.

Sending warm encouraging hugs,
Donna

[Dixiefireball]

Sounds like jaime gave you great advice and I agree with her. I will be praying for you I hope you find your dream Job and you are able to lower your stress level.
please let us know how things trun out
sending you hugs and prayers
Rhonda

[cheriandkitty]

There's nothing worse than being unappreciated! It's tough when you are making sacrifices and employers don't seem to care. I agree you should look for a new job, it will make you feel better just knowing you're not going to be there much longer.

Also perhaps you can see about working part-time, it might be cost effective to work only 30-35 hours because you'll save on daycare and your taxes may be less. I have friends who found because of being in a different tax bracket that they actually ended up making more when they figured out the cost of everything. Let us know what happens!

Cheri