Oregon Police

[VickiB]

A Bend ,Oregon policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem--a 12-year-old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign, which read 'RADAR TRAP AHEAD.' The officer also found the boy had an accomplice who was down the road with a sign reading 'TIPS' and a bucket full of money. (And we used to just sell lemonade!)


A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar post in Pendleton , Oregon . A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.


A young woman was pulled over for speeding. An Oregon State Trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book. She said, "I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the State Trooper's Ball." He replied, " Oregon State Troopers don't have balls." There was a moment of silence. He then closed his book, tipped his hat, got back in his patrol car and left.

Umm,...sorry Donna!(?)

[KatieB]

Thank you Vicki for a laugh at the end of a day that in thought would NEVER end!!! I needed that!!!

[ICNDonna]

Hmmmmmm --- The first one I heard about --- the other two --- I think --- must have been in Idaho ????????? :smile tee

[mary124]

Vicki: Donna got you there! I am glad I am in Texas (now after saying that I am in trouble, especially if you find any (good) jokes about us Texans!
have a good one, having a busy day, no one is home so I might start cleaning the house a little (you get a lot more done when no one is home) and I am going to a party tonight... plus I got to go and buy a gift and I won't have a car till 3:00 this afternoon!)

[VickiB]

I am glad I am in Texas (now after saying that I am in trouble, especially if you find any (good) jokes about us Texans!

A Texas State Trooper recently stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name. She said, “I’m Mrs. Chadivaler Zuminskagia Ragretumunga from the Republic of Uzbetikan visiting my daughter in Dallas.” As she finished speaking the trooper paused for a moment and then put away his book and pen, and said, “Well… Umm... OK… but don’t let me catch you speeding again!”

And as they say, fair is fair........

One evening, two Idaho State Trooper patrol cars were in hot pursuit of a Chevy Camaro going east on I-90 toward Montana. When the suspect vehicle crossed the Montana line, the first Trooper pulled over quickly. The rookie Trooper pulled over right behind him and asked, “Hey Sarge, why the heck did you stop? We almost had that guy and his girlfriend.” The Sarge replied, “You stupid rookie! That Camaro is in Montana now. They are an hour ahead of us, so we’ll never be able to catch ‘em.”

[VickiB]

Have fun at the party, Mary!

[crkshnks79]

:lmao: those were great , thanks for the laugh Vicki !!

[mary124]

Vicki: Well, I did ask for it! thanks.
Party was good, I belong to a group of Red Hats Society and there are about 15 members, with about 10 active. this was our Christmas one, where we had food, most of which I was able to eat without any problem- except for the dessert (chocolate cake) so I passed on this and gift exchange. I left somewhate early as cleaning the house tired me out.

[bubbe1]

Vicki,
Where DO you get your jokes. They're great! Thanks for the laugh, I needed it! :smile tee
If you really want a challange, let's see you come up with something for VA. No, not D.C., that's too easy!

[VickiB]

Mary, I've seen articles about the Red Hat Society. What a great group to belong to!

Where DO you get your jokes.....let's see you come up with something for VA.
My family is to blame. Especially my brother who sends me 4-5 new jokes every day. Unfortunately, most are not suitable for the ICN! (blush :tsk:)

No, not D.C., that's too easy!
Yes, they make it waaay too easy!

So, here you go....

A Virginia State trooper pulled a car over on I-64 about 2 miles south of the Virginia/West Virginia State line. When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a Magician and Juggler and was on his way to Beckley, WV to do a show at the Shrine Circus. He didn't want to be late.

The trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling and said if the driver would do a little juggling for him then he wouldn't give him a ticket. The magician told the trooper he had sent his equipment ahead and didn't have anything to juggle. The trooper replied that he had some flares in the trunk and asked if he could juggle them. The magician said he could, so the trooper got 5 flares, lit them, and handed them to him.

While the magician was juggling, a car pulled in behind the patrol car. A drunken good old boy from West Virginia got out, watched the performance briefly, then went over to the patrol car, opened the rear door, and got in. The trooper observed him and went over to the patrol car and opened the door asking the drunk what he thought he was doing.
The drunk replied, "You might as well take my butt to jail, because there ain't no way I can pass that test!"

[bubbe1]

Mary, I've seen articles about the Red Hat Society. What a great group to belong to!


My family is to blame. Especially my brother who sends me 4-5 new jokes every day. Unfortunately, most are not suitable for the ICN! (blush :tsk:)


Yes, they make it waaay too easy!

So, here you go....

A Virginia State trooper pulled a car over on I-64 about 2 miles south of the Virginia/West Virginia State line. When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a Magician and Juggler and was on his way to Beckley, WV to do a show at the Shrine Circus. He didn't want to be late.

The trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling and said if the driver would do a little juggling for him then he wouldn't give him a ticket. The magician told the trooper he had sent his equipment ahead and didn't have anything to juggle. The trooper replied that he had some flares in the trunk and asked if he could juggle them. The magician said he could, so the trooper got 5 flares, lit them, and handed them to him.

While the magician was juggling, a car pulled in behind the patrol car. A drunken good old boy from West Virginia got out, watched the performance briefly, then went over to the patrol car, opened the rear door, and got in. The trooper observed him and went over to the patrol car and opened the door asking the drunk what he thought he was doing.
The drunk replied, "You might as well take my butt to jail, because there ain't no way I can pass that test!"

Great family! And very funny joke. I am going to send it on to my West Virginia friends! :smile tee