Sad and Hurt

[astone0611]

This past weekend we had a family get together because my grandfather has been in the hospital and my aunt from Alaska came down to visit with him. I wasn't able to attend the last family get together which was my uncles birthday party because I was fighting a flare and could only muster up enough energy to sleep.
So when I saw my uncle he gave me a hard time, poking me in my side and saying that I could've slept on the beds they had at their place. I was like, the only difference of me sleeping at my place instead of yours was me not having to indure that horrible hour and a half car ride to your place. He didn't comprehend any reason I was giving him and made me feel guilty for missing his birthday.
And to add insult to injury, when I was inside my grandparents cottage, sitting on the couch, one of my younger cousins who is 10yrs old (I'm 24) came up to me and said, "So you feeling better? I didn't think you were coming since you are always sick. I don't even think you are sick, you never look sick." I could've just explained to her why I'm constantly sick, but at that point I was already feeling bad about my uncle, so I didn't respond to her and walked away.
I'm not too keen on telling EVERYONE in my family that I have a disease that causes incompacitating pain. They are all too noisey and would want to advise me on treatments and such. I just wish people would be more considerate and teach their children the same. :(

[nanawaggs]

Hi, Ashley ~ Wow, that's a lot to handle. I'm proud of you for even going this time. I just guess everyone handles things differently and some people just don't or never will be compassionate to others whether they mean to be insensitive or not. I'm very fortunate that I haven't had to deal with this and I'm so grateful for that.

Take care of yourself.....I don't know what I'd do in your situation, but I know there are so many others who have to deal with this alot.

Blessings,

[VickiB]

Kudos Ashley! You handled this with a lot of class!

"So you feeling better? I didn't think you were coming since you are always sick. I don't even think you are sick, you never look sick."
I'd say what your 10 year old cousin said here is a attitude many of us have to face with some friends & family. An adult just knows better than to voice it! -Well,... most adults anyway! Kids, huh? Gotta love 'em! I do think the concept of being sick without any outward, obvious sign is an abstract realization that must be learned. A child has some leeway to be excused.

I just wish people would be more considerate and teach their children the same
Yep. So sorry that their behavior caused you to be sad & hurt. You did good though!

Vicki

[astone0611]

Thank you guys! You both made me feel alot better for how I handled the situation. My 10yr old cousin tends to rub many family members the wrong way. We don't know where she got the tude from since both her parents are church-going folk and school teachers. A part of me wishes that I tried to explain my illness...then again I did have that gut instinct that it would be falling on deaf ears.
I love my extended family very much, especially my mom's side, but my dad's side is difficult to deal with...they are all high strung and just add to my anxiety.
Thanks again for the warm words :)

[ICNDonna]

:grouphug:

Donna

[Zygala87]

Ten years old are very familiar with computers. It might have been a good idea to ask her to type in a search on the Two letters "IC" If nothing else it would educate her on the condition. So sorry you were hurt. My gosh I can think of so many health problems that "you don't look sick" MS, heart disease, and on & on. That particular saying really turns me off and I just think "How stupid" I expect little from most people concerning IC so I am rarely disappointed. My friends, family and loved ones do understand and to heck with the others. Not worth any emotions from me. They will never understand. Wishing you much relief ahead. Hugs, Ziggy

[statesboro]

I do realize you have had some good responses by now. You know yourself better than your uncle or the 10years old knows you. By the way, I do know some people try to make us feel guilty, but we gotta do what we gotta do to keep from going ballistic over our IC and/or other conditions sometimes. Yep! I have been out of bed less than 2 hours, but I have not felt like I have got much energy so far. I have got pain, but it is not IC related.(like major neck surgery back on March 5th) Oh! I try to make it to all the Georgia Southern home football games, but I don't feel like going anywhere so far.(2:00start) I don't know yet. It won't matter much. I just get in the car and take me. I can save $25 if I don't get a ticket. Anyway, I probably would have felt like giving the kid a reality check all of a sudden. Of course, I would not have. Smacking the kid upside the head would not have been right. Most of us don't look sick. OK. Someone did suggest getting him educated on IC. That came to my mind as well. He could smart off at the wrong person and get the reality check after all. Yep!