guilt trip

[sharon429]

Lately I feel guilty about everything. I have five children and my three older ones are so competitive and demanding. I started taking each one out individually every weekend so we can have some one on one time. We've been doing it for about a year but now its turned into a competitive thing where who gets what and who goes where. I can't stand it!! I can't even take one of them to shoprite with me without the other one making me feel guilty. If I give one some more attention then the other they complain. I try so hard (TOO HARD) to make everybody happy and there's always somebody who feels slighted. I was contemplating having another baby (which is insane) and don't know how I could make time for another.
They even argue over who gets the most ice cream or the biggest ice pop!!! I said I was going to have to start measuring out ice cream. I can't stand it! I feel guilty everytime I make a little time for myself too.
I feel like I'm going through
some sort of post partum(my baby is six months) or something. I've been feeling very depressed and constantly guilty. We've been having a lot of money difficulities and I haven't been getting enouph sleep so its probably just that because I've never had post partum before.
Anyway, just wanted to vent.

sharon

[creatingkarma]

Sorry you are having a hard time with the kiddies. There is nothing else in this world that can bring you so much joy & so much frustration at the same time. Please dont' feel guilty for taking time for yourself. You deserve it! I love this old quote 'If mom ain't happy - Nobody's happy'. So true. If the kids must argue about every single thing, let them do it amongst themselves. Don't let yourself be a part of it & don't listen to it. Tell them that's something they have to work out themselves. Sibling rivalry is such a difficult thing to deal with, but it's going to happen no matter what. The only thing you can change is the way that you handle it. Maybe you could write up a schedule for them. Write down a different name for each day for the child that is going somewhere with you. Maybe this will help them with the unfairness they are seeing. If they can pyhsically see that today is someone elses day, but tomorrow is mine, then maybe this will help them. Don't forget to have a day where no one goes with you. I enjoy & need my time alone even if it is just to go to the store alone.

Also, each pregnancy is different. Just because you've never had post pardum depression before, doesn't mean that you don't have it now. You can still get it up to a year after delivery.

Please take care of yourself,
Karma

[kelly McC]

Bless you. I have 2 boys and at times I cant stand it they are very competitive and always at eachother. On the other hand I would not trade it for anything. I definately think you should take time for you and not feel guilty at all. You deserve you time..
Kelly:butterfly

[sharon429]

Thanks Karma and Kelly for your reply. I feel very overwhelmed right now. Maybe I am going through Post Partum depression. I don't know. It just feels like everything is just too much. My husband is working nights and that means I have the kids 24 hours a day without anyone else to help me out. Not only that but since my husband was out of work for 7 months I started watching a little 2 year old boy every day from 7:30 to 5:00. My daughter, Olivia, is two years old also and they fight all day. The constant whining is driving me crazy. I have to get six kids in the van every morning by 8:20. No one listens to me.
I can't believe the amount of work the last baby has created for me. With the four I really didn't notice the difference but the fifth I think just pushed me over the edge. Of course, like you said, I wouldn't trade any of it. I love them all dearly, they mean everything to me.
Sometimes I just wonder whether or not certain things really make a difference. I can't explain what I want to say. I just hope they remember me as a nice person and not this raving lunitic that I sometimes (more lately) become. Well, I have to go I promised that I would read tonight.

Sharon

[blue]

I feel for you. I only have two, and can't imagine splitting my time so many ways.

How old are your children?

[sharon429]

I have a six month old girl, 2 year old girl, 6 year old boy, 7 year old girl and a girl who just turned 9.


Sharon

[kelly McC]

Bless your heart,
They love you and will always remember the wonderful mom you are to them. I always say some one has to be bad guy(girl) its usually me at my house but I know someday they will grow to know I loved them enough to say no and teach them right from wrong. You sound like a wonderful loving mom .. Sending you a ton of huggs:grouphug: :grouphug:

[ICNDonna]

I think it would be a good idea to talk with your doctor. If you indeed have post partum depression, it is treatable. You don't have to continue feeling depressed. Also, it might help you to talk with a family counselor to help you get things a little more under control.

Warm hugs,
Donna

[jaime15]

Sharon,
You know you are a great mom. You get them anything they need. Now don't start doing so much and send yourself over the edge. I know the five have to be trying, at best. And if you think you have the slightest idea that you have ppd, then hurry your little rear off to the doctor. The babies pediatrician, at his check ups, should see the signs too, if they pay attention to you.
It's chemicals that make up ppd, it doesn't mean you're a bad mom. This is just something you can't control on your own.
Ohhh and don't feel guilty about "Sharon time".. Girl you need it for a few hours everyday!!;) I'll send you a pm on how Zane is. I'd love to hear about everything else....especially your 2 year old.
Take care and really listen to what everyone has told you....I swear these people care alot!!:hi:

[Michelle in KC]

OK, Sharon. Try this.

Take no one ANYWHERE. At least for a few weeks and when they ask or whine about it, tell them they are acting like infants and until they are able not to bicker with each other, they go NOWHERE.

Hope that helps. Michelle