This is a dump question but........

[waterflow]

Do you ever get used to being in pain 24/7?? It's been 12 years now for me since my IC started and to tell you the truth I am actually worse pain wise. Peeing wise is better and I don't know which I would rather have if I could choose. Pain or peeing. Uro used to ask me that question in the beginning and I couldn't answer it then. Found out last year I do have Fibro (figured I did for a long time) but sometimes the pain all over mixed with bladder pain is so much I could cry. Plus there are more days when I am to tired to be tired. It has been so long since I haven't had pain I have forgotten what it was like to be normal. Kind of feeling more dumpy right now. Was keeping the house clean every day and not sure if that threw me into worse days or it's just the way my life it now? I get so depressed about a dirty house and then I get depressed about being in pain. Guess I just get depressed about everything these days and anti pills don't help with that. I've tried them.

[Snowden1]

So, you can't take antidepressants? I am like you. Frequency was worse, now pain is worse and frequency got better in there. Pain is much worse. I didn't mind running to the bathroom as much as the pain. It is wearing and draining. I feel like I have just had surgery everyday.

Have you done the diet with any results?

[Julie B]

I have found myself trying to pay less attention to the news. I really was getting.........hmmmmmmm.............not depressed really, but defeated at times when you watch the earthquake in Haiti, the war stories, the oil spill, the children that have been murdered in my area recently.........and I forget that I have flowers growing in my garden, and that music makes me happy, and that buying silly cards for my kids for no good reason can make everyone smile.........

I do think people find a new sense of normal when they have a chronic illness. It may not be wonderful, but they find a place in their lives that they can live with their disease amicably. Does that make sense?

[waterflow]

See, that's the thing. I don't have anything in my life from my "old normal" life. I had a front yard full of flowers that I grew in the house over winter. Took years to get the yard looking good and most of the front yard was flowers. Not bragging, but people would stop to look or even drive in to talk and ask what the flowers were. Had loads of different kinds but after the IC hit all was lost within the first 2 years. Someone else took over the mowing and no matter how many times I told them what were flowers and what were weeds they mowed my flowers (on purpose!) and left the weeds. Had a garden too but gave that up. Last one I had I gave 99% of it away and there were 8 bushels of tomatoes alone. Used to love baking but it makes such a mess that takes days to clean up I just don't like doing that anymore. Was crocheting baby hat/booties again. Found hospitals on the internet that wanted them but I figured if the hospital where I am thought they weren't good enough why spend money to ship them to another hospital to hear they weren't good enough? Thought the cats would be my "life line" but I wonder sometimes if I did wrong keeping them. I will not let them run outside even if I do live out in the country. Two were running but one got in a fight with someone out in the woods last year so I said no more of that.
I guess I just can't find that part of life to feel useful again. My life was always house work (and helping others) and now I can't do that right so I guess I'm not productive anymore. All I hear from everyone (including strangers) is I have no husband, no kids, no job so I just sit around eating bon bons all day watching tv. I have absolutely nothing I have to do.
Anti pills only made everything with the IC worse, I gained weight (which I doubt I will be able to lose) and they did nothing mind wise. All I want to do since the beginning of this month is sleep. I just keep getting more tired as the days goes on. Have a follow up appointment with GP doc end of this month but not much she can do either. I have begged the uro to take my bladder out but he won't do it. Says I will be worse off and I really just don't see how.

[CherylSLP]

I went for my first PT appointment this week and I when I heard my answers to questions about pain I realized I had just become used to being in pain all the time and it was my normal. I too do not remember what it feels like to not be in pain. I struggle with feeling useful as well, as I tend to tie my worth up in doing things. I have been learning lately that that isn't really what our worth is about though. Who we are is enough. We all have value. Sometimes, as hard as it is, that value is in letting someone else serve us the way we used to serve others. If it is possible at some point, I would recommend working with vocational rehabilitation in your area to look at possible different job options. My job is very doable with my IC, and lets just say housework and things like that are not.