''Be Positive''

[Jase]

I have been told this many times by people since having pelvic pain/IC. I recognise that thinking positively can help when dealing with pain and its important to take steps against depression. If people find certain tips or advice help them then I think thats great .

However I also think its okay to recognise and ackowledge negative emotions and thoughts when you have pelvic pain. I have read so many self help books which teach you to banish ' negative self talk' from your mind. I have to disagree as I think negative self talk can sometimes also be a call to action and encourage you to analyse and scrutinise. I believe if you take thinking positively to extremes it becomes a form of self delusion.

A new book is out called Bright-sided how positive thinking undermined America by Barbara Ehrenreich. She has written many political books but she also has a Phd in cell biology. When she came down with Breast Cancer she was also told to be positive to help recovery. She decided to investigate the validity of this advice in a new book. She found that there is very little evidence to suggest that your mind can affect your immune system or help overcome disease. I thought it was a great book to read if you suffer from an illness.

[VickiB]

Interesting.

I recognise that thinking positively can help when dealing with pain and its important to take steps against depression..............However I also think its okay to recognise and ackowledge negative emotions and thoughts when you have pelvic pain.
I agree. Sounds like a healthy, logical attitude.

I wonder if we can really change they way we are wired anyway? Can a pessimist really become an optimist through sheer will?

It's hard for me to subscribe to the idea that one's thoughts can directly cause, affect, or change an outcome. However, I do believe thoughts determine one's direction and initiate action -Or inaction, even on a subconscious level.

Whether a positive person who is completely oblivious to an impending doom, or a negative person who accepts the doom as inevitable, both can have their drawbacks.

That said, I think I lean hard towards the positive while married to a man who leans negative. In a strange sort of way it leads to a sort of balance.

Vicki

[LithEruiel]

I'm sure everyone has something in their lives they'd feel bad about if they believed that. I totally agree with you. People have always told me to be positive since I've been labeled as a pessimist my whole life...I admit I am too negative a lot of the time, but sometimes just being realistic is called pessimism. I mean I could think as much as I want that I'm never going to have pelvic pain ever again [or insert anything there]...that doesn't mean it's necessarily going to happen!

[Lemur]

I have been told this many times by people since having pelvic pain/IC. I recognise that thinking positively can help when dealing with pain and its important to take steps against depression. If people find certain tips or advice help them then I think thats great .

However I also think its okay to recognise and ackowledge negative emotions and thoughts when you have pelvic pain. I have read so many self help books which teach you to banish ' negative self talk' from your mind. I have to disagree as I think negative self talk can sometimes also be a call to action and encourage you to analyse and scrutinise. I believe if you take thinking positively to extremes it becomes a form of self delusion.

A new book is out called Bright-sided how positive thinking undermined America by Barbara Ehrenreich. She has written many political books but she also has a Phd in cell biology. When she came down with Breast Cancer she was also told to be positive to help recovery. She decided to investigate the validity of this advice in a new book. She found that there is very little evidence to suggest that your mind can affect your immune system or help overcome disease. I thought it was a great book to read if you suffer from an illness.

thanks for posting this. its vitally important. the lies and blame the victim need to stop. the average person, stranger, friend, family member, doctor, you name it, blames the victim. some rare people do not, they are able to sit with pain, other people's pain and offer compassion.

A lovely woman I knew, only 32 was the most positive person you could imagine in regard to her metastisized breast cancer. She truly believed she could overcome it. Her denial was so deep she couldn't accept what everyone else knew, that she was dying, until 3 days before her death.

It's a new age game gone vicious. You're so right, it CAUSES depression AND isolation because you are being blamed for your illness and blamed for your pain and suffering. If you go into any depth in reading about dealing w/ extreme pain (as that's what I have w/ this disease) you can tell by the tone of the words and the words used who is really suffering and who is telling you what to do and never has known real pain. Even within various religious communities. pain hurts and there are some things you can try to ease it but thinking positive is not one of them.