View Full Version : When the Judgement of Others Hurts
05-04-2004, 07:15 AM
Gaye Sandler tackles this sensitive topic in her latest article for the ICN! Find it at: http://www.ic-network.com/iclifestyles/
05-04-2004, 07:27 AM
This is a really great article! Thanks for letting us know it's up on the site.
I've heard all of those same things -- it's "in my head" or "just keep busy" or "there must be something wrong with you" and it was really depressing at first to go from being someone who was once very healthy to being someone who has to manage several chronic diseases that can flare up without warning. But what I've learned from this (and can now appreciate) is how much stronger, more flexible and compassionate I've become as a result. I've learned to cope, be proactive, and when all else fails, be creative about making the best of a less than ideal situation. I try to remember that on the days when I'm not feeling so good and it helps.
05-06-2004, 07:14 PM
I read the information and felt that I could have written the article on judgemental people. I used to bang my head against the wall trying to help family and friends understand that last minute changes are par for the course. I finally wised up and respond with a wisecrack because silence would give the person the impression that anything could be said to me without consequences. Less energy exerted by me and I am thankful for that.
05-06-2004, 07:46 PM
Gosh I sure love the Lifestyle articles from Gaye and Andrew Sandler. I have read most of them!! :D
I really identified with this latest article. It really hit home. I am currently in intense therapy trying to deal with the fact that I am a totally different person than I was a year and a half ago. And yet I feel this obligation to pretend to be the old "me" around friends and family. I find that I just stay home these days because I have come to resent having to be "her". Not a happy way to live... I am learning to be more open with my friends and not hide my pain and limitations. I am realizing that one reason some people have such a hard time understanding what IC has done to my life is because I hide it from them. They see that I go to the bathroom a lot but I don't tell them about how much pain I am in 24/7. Or how much I hurt after riding in a car for more than 20 minutes, or if I don't drink enough water or get enough rest. I just grit my teeth and smile. They don't understand why I am not jumping at the idea to drive an hour to go shopping or spend the day hiking a 10 mile trail. I don't admit to them that I no longer can tolerate such activities. I always thought that they would think I was weak if I admitted my pain and limitations. But the thing is, now as some of them realize what I am really going through, they tell me they admire my strength and determined spirit. Whoa, I NEVER expected that!!
Thanks Jill for pointing out the new article!! It is awesome!!
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