husbands

[ChristineW]

I posted last night but it didnt take it.

I wanted to know if anyone could help me with info or support for my hubby. I know this IC I suffer with is bad enough for me, but its hard for him to understand too. Its depressing for him seeing me cry often and be in pain. He gets so frustrated with the lack of help, and how many dont know about this illness. You know he wants to "fix things" but cant. He is supportive and understanding but he is human and it does bother him at times where he says I should just "deal" almost and move on...but as I told him when your in severe pain how do you "deal". I know he doesnt quite get it.

Just wondering if anyone had any advise...I always look for poems or quotes about IC and I share with friends and my husband so they understand, so if anyone has naything plz send to me.
cwolsky@tampabay.rr.com

Thanks so much for listening :angel:
Christine

[Kathi]

How about having him go with you to your next doc's appt. The doc can probably explain to him better. You might also, want him to read some of the posts here on the message boards. Ask your doc for some flyers or make some copies of stuff in on our site. Hope this helps, I know how frustrating it can be for those close to us. Men want to "fix" everything for us. *sigh* I wish they could. Kathi:)

[Dixiefireball]

that is what i had to do i had to take my husband to the doctor's office with me and my doctor explained things better to him.
sending you both hugs and prayers:grouphug: :pray:

[Iris]

Hi, the best thing I did for me, was to take my husband with me to my appointments when I was first diagnosed. I also got some of the books from the IC network which has a lot of information in, and read sections to him, so he knows a little more about what is going on. I think that helps a lot, so many do not know what IC is all about, including our own families until they get involved. Let us know how you are doing, hugs Iris.:hi: :grouphug: :flower:

[kelly McC]

I also took my husband to my last few appointments and he has been very helpful and supportive. Best wishes ,
Kelly

[redstonebef]

Christine, You might ask your Dr. for some pain relief. Hugs to you my husband has watched me in pain for 20years. It is hard. I finally about 4 years ago have some pain meds that help me. Hugs.

redstonebef

[Teri]

Having my hubby to go to dr's appts has been very helpful. I would also print out some of the posts from some of the girls and that would really rock his socks;)

We have gone thru all the stages. Grief, sadness, ANGER, acceptance, then back to ANGER, seems like it's never ending but it's so much better than it was a couple of years ago. If I were a betting person I'd have bet my marriage would have been in the toilet during that time and I didn't even care. He had me under so much stress that him walking out (at the time) would have been a blessing.

We have to find our own support with this stinkin' disease and as rotten as it sounds, they have to too. They have to find someone they can open up to. My husband was always the type that you NEVER take bad stuff out the door, what is said is the house stays in the house. Well, he found out if he wanted to live, he'd have to change is ways and for the last year he has been my rock.

Thank God I had the ICA while I was going thru that and the wonderful women her who shared stories that hit so close to home that I just stuck it out and it all got better....

Wishing you the same~

[marinda]

I WAS SO LUCKY TO HAVE MY HUSBSAND WITH ME WHEN I WAS
DIAGNOSED . WE WERENT EXSPECTING TO BE TOLD THAT I HAD A
FOREVER DISEASE. WE WERE TOLD TO GET READY BECAUSE OUR
LIFES WERE GOING TO CHANGE.
THERE ARE DAYS THAT IM HAVING A BAD DAY. AND I CAN TELL
THAT HE WISHES I COULD JUST GET IT OUT OF MY MIND.
THE PAIN IS IN MY BODY AND I WISH I COULD SOMETIMES
NOT THINK ABOUT IT.
I FEEL BAD BECAUSE WE ARE STILL YOUNG WITH NO CHILDREN
WE SHOULD BE OUT ENJOYING THE WORLD .
BUT INSTEAD WE ARE BROKE AND IM AM SICK ALL THE TIME.
BUT OMY HUSBAND IS THE ONLY REASON THAT I KEEP GOING,.

[ICNDonna]

Is there a support group near you? If so, I think taking your husband with you to a meeting would be good.

Donna

[tigger_gal]

I honestly didnt think my husband understood (and at times think he don't really understand, still).. It has helped that he has gone to dr's with me and going thru the interstim procdure.. but, what I think caught his attention was the picture of my bladder... the look of a big firey ball with never ending pain..
go to my link and show him what an IC bladder looks like if you don't have one of your own..
:kiss:
Brat

[jala]

I really hope you find a support group in your area. I have been to one locally and am just amazed by the number of spouses that attend. The men that show up are very positive and get a lot out of the meetings. The wives also seem to be very uplifted by the participation of their husbands. Even if he cannot go to a meeting, there is opportunity for him to learn about IC through the fantastic information available on this website. Best of luck. Jala.