katie87
01-07-2010, 02:01 PM
I am very greatful and thankful to be able to list all the things I can do despite severe IC, urethritits, Endo/adhesions, PFD, as well as fibromyalgia+arthritis, asthma, scoliosis/chronic back and chronic pelvic pain. I can : 1. hold my daughter for short times 2. sing 3. dance sometimes 4. go for short walks 5. make jewelry 6. read 7. write 8. sit and look pretty
( haha) 9. I can talk with fam and friends on the phone. 10. I managed to carry a child full term with all these health problems and not a stitch of medical treatment for my illness 11. graduated medical assistant / phlebotomist program(full time program ) with severe IC, still untreated 12. I am a college student and have sat in long lectures despite my PFD flaring, very proud of this as at one point I was having panic attacks from the pelvic pain sitting gave me.
When I first joined this site, I was obsessed with my own pain and suffering, I did not officially know I had IC /endo etc. and I was worried I was terminal, bc of the strong burning/throbbing pain i had 24/7. I was in a living hell. I couldn't enjoy anything... I began to realize that IC was living my life, IC was in control. I let it run the show, if my bladder hurt, I stayed in bed, tossing and turning with my heat pack, feeling sorry for myself wishing I could go out.then something amazing happened. I got an official diagnosis. I had a name for my severe pain. I had a name for the burning sensation in my urethra, a name for the painful sex and the painful walking, sitting and standing. A name for the "thing" that kept me from going out with friends and working. A name for my " pee tube burning". I saw in pictures the real and severe damage. And with that, i mourned for a long time. I sat and brewed and stewed for a few months. I cried.... I cried and I cried some more. I felt fully the pain of knowing I had serious health issues. But I rejoiced in FINALLY being believed. From that day forward, I was treated with respect at Dr. visits, I was "believed". They knew my pain was real, they began to treat my pain with pain meds, and physical therapy. I began reading books, to try and overcome my intense depression and pain. I began to accept that I had IC and there was no cure. I began to see that my pain will not go away, there is currently no cure. If I wait for the pain to end to get out there and have fun, I will never get the chance. I will be in severe pain until a cure is found, so i cannot rest in bed waiting for the pain to end. I have to get up and get out of the house, because My life is slipping by. I already lost 6 years to IC, I am 22 years old and i will not lose another year to IC. The only thing different from TODAY and when I joined this site, is my attitude. My attitude has changed and I think god intervened and changed my heart and soul, its like I am a whole new woman, a woman who is in pain nonstop but still smiles, who is still thankful for each and every moment. A woman who moans or grimaces her face in pain but who can still appreciate a pretty sunset or a sweet smelling flower. You see, IC took that joy from me so even those things bought no joy to my heart. I had to change my attitude to enjoy life again. I may still be in pain, but I am making the best of it, I look on the bright side, i say to myself, what is there to be thankful for today? and when I find nothing to be thankful for I take out my bible and read until joy fills my heart once again. I found a great relationship through god, because of IC. The pain of IC , the lonliness and fear IC gave me drove me to a relationship with GOD and he changed my heart, from a woman wno was in severe pain and miserable, wrapped up in her own misery so tight that i was blind to all the good things life still offered me. Now I am a woman in severe pain, who still feels pain all day, but who can still look on the bright side. My attitude determines my altitude..... ironic that when i was "negative" i didn't believe that quote... but now that I am living each day with gratitude I see how that quote makes sense. I am also much more open to trying self treatments for my pain such as yoga, pilates, baths, meditation and deep breathing. I cannot tell you how much the "attitude change" improved my IC.
( haha) 9. I can talk with fam and friends on the phone. 10. I managed to carry a child full term with all these health problems and not a stitch of medical treatment for my illness 11. graduated medical assistant / phlebotomist program(full time program ) with severe IC, still untreated 12. I am a college student and have sat in long lectures despite my PFD flaring, very proud of this as at one point I was having panic attacks from the pelvic pain sitting gave me.
When I first joined this site, I was obsessed with my own pain and suffering, I did not officially know I had IC /endo etc. and I was worried I was terminal, bc of the strong burning/throbbing pain i had 24/7. I was in a living hell. I couldn't enjoy anything... I began to realize that IC was living my life, IC was in control. I let it run the show, if my bladder hurt, I stayed in bed, tossing and turning with my heat pack, feeling sorry for myself wishing I could go out.then something amazing happened. I got an official diagnosis. I had a name for my severe pain. I had a name for the burning sensation in my urethra, a name for the painful sex and the painful walking, sitting and standing. A name for the "thing" that kept me from going out with friends and working. A name for my " pee tube burning". I saw in pictures the real and severe damage. And with that, i mourned for a long time. I sat and brewed and stewed for a few months. I cried.... I cried and I cried some more. I felt fully the pain of knowing I had serious health issues. But I rejoiced in FINALLY being believed. From that day forward, I was treated with respect at Dr. visits, I was "believed". They knew my pain was real, they began to treat my pain with pain meds, and physical therapy. I began reading books, to try and overcome my intense depression and pain. I began to accept that I had IC and there was no cure. I began to see that my pain will not go away, there is currently no cure. If I wait for the pain to end to get out there and have fun, I will never get the chance. I will be in severe pain until a cure is found, so i cannot rest in bed waiting for the pain to end. I have to get up and get out of the house, because My life is slipping by. I already lost 6 years to IC, I am 22 years old and i will not lose another year to IC. The only thing different from TODAY and when I joined this site, is my attitude. My attitude has changed and I think god intervened and changed my heart and soul, its like I am a whole new woman, a woman who is in pain nonstop but still smiles, who is still thankful for each and every moment. A woman who moans or grimaces her face in pain but who can still appreciate a pretty sunset or a sweet smelling flower. You see, IC took that joy from me so even those things bought no joy to my heart. I had to change my attitude to enjoy life again. I may still be in pain, but I am making the best of it, I look on the bright side, i say to myself, what is there to be thankful for today? and when I find nothing to be thankful for I take out my bible and read until joy fills my heart once again. I found a great relationship through god, because of IC. The pain of IC , the lonliness and fear IC gave me drove me to a relationship with GOD and he changed my heart, from a woman wno was in severe pain and miserable, wrapped up in her own misery so tight that i was blind to all the good things life still offered me. Now I am a woman in severe pain, who still feels pain all day, but who can still look on the bright side. My attitude determines my altitude..... ironic that when i was "negative" i didn't believe that quote... but now that I am living each day with gratitude I see how that quote makes sense. I am also much more open to trying self treatments for my pain such as yoga, pilates, baths, meditation and deep breathing. I cannot tell you how much the "attitude change" improved my IC.