AngKat
09-07-2009, 08:07 AM
Hey everyone! Happy Labor Day! I have not been on here in a little while...I miss you all!
So I thought things were going pretty well. Ever since I started Lexapro 10mg a day it helped me be pulled out of the depression I was thrown into a year after I got diagnosed with all this.
Then..
About a month ago...
Mark dumped me 3 days after our one year anniversary. He was also in my band so I had to find a new drummer. Added a new keyboard player. I had to start handling all my own booking/management. My PR guy is helping me a lot and I am so thankful. It hit me college is over & I'm 22 with a chronic pain disease living back @ my parents house & can't live like a normal girl my age. A week ago I had to quit my job so now I'm going through the stress of finding another one...ughhh.
Anyways I was feeling OK b/c I had met an amazing guy. I wasn't going to tell him the extent of all my problems down there..we had intercourse & my vagina flared up like a balloon. It literally looked like it was petruding out of me & it was THE worst pain I had EVER felt down there. (Sorry so graphic). The pelvic pain was ridiculous..I never saw or felt ANYTHING like this since I have had all these problems so I had to go to the ER. Even the nurse there at first thought my bladder dropped. Turns out it was just the vulvodynia..How's that for a date with a new boyfriend? haha. He was really good & understanding about it..but I've felt so emabarassed ever since.
I visited my gyno the next day. I told him I was so confused b/c I don't even take anything for the vulvodynia anymore & ever since I started physical therapy for PFD I have had minimal pain down there. He said I should be on Neurontin 300mg once a day & go up to 4 times a day. This was about a week ago & I'm still on the 300 mg b/c I feel so drowsy. I also feel really depressed. Keep in mind I had been so busy w/ work that I haven't seen my therapist or physical therapist in 4 weeks!! This week I'm going to visit both of those. I just think I need someone to help me feel a little better about myself mentally and physically. I also know Lexapro is prescribed at 20mg..I wonder if my dose needs to go up b/c of all these changes going on? My Mom thinks the Neurontin is making me feel sad & i shouldn't take it. But I really think it's important to try to get all this under control...Anyone have any experience with Neurontin? My brother put it perfectly..he said I have had so many depressing things happen to me in my life in the past year & also been on so many meds it's hard to tell which is making me crazy lol. I like to think I'm not crazy & I know you would all understand that this disease can completely mess with our heads no matter what.
I started guitar lessons..it's keeping me focused on music. & I have a show coming up on Sept. 24th! I just hate when I get in these moods where all I do is dread...I'm sure some of you know how i feel!
<3
So I thought things were going pretty well. Ever since I started Lexapro 10mg a day it helped me be pulled out of the depression I was thrown into a year after I got diagnosed with all this.
Then..
About a month ago...
Mark dumped me 3 days after our one year anniversary. He was also in my band so I had to find a new drummer. Added a new keyboard player. I had to start handling all my own booking/management. My PR guy is helping me a lot and I am so thankful. It hit me college is over & I'm 22 with a chronic pain disease living back @ my parents house & can't live like a normal girl my age. A week ago I had to quit my job so now I'm going through the stress of finding another one...ughhh.
Anyways I was feeling OK b/c I had met an amazing guy. I wasn't going to tell him the extent of all my problems down there..we had intercourse & my vagina flared up like a balloon. It literally looked like it was petruding out of me & it was THE worst pain I had EVER felt down there. (Sorry so graphic). The pelvic pain was ridiculous..I never saw or felt ANYTHING like this since I have had all these problems so I had to go to the ER. Even the nurse there at first thought my bladder dropped. Turns out it was just the vulvodynia..How's that for a date with a new boyfriend? haha. He was really good & understanding about it..but I've felt so emabarassed ever since.
I visited my gyno the next day. I told him I was so confused b/c I don't even take anything for the vulvodynia anymore & ever since I started physical therapy for PFD I have had minimal pain down there. He said I should be on Neurontin 300mg once a day & go up to 4 times a day. This was about a week ago & I'm still on the 300 mg b/c I feel so drowsy. I also feel really depressed. Keep in mind I had been so busy w/ work that I haven't seen my therapist or physical therapist in 4 weeks!! This week I'm going to visit both of those. I just think I need someone to help me feel a little better about myself mentally and physically. I also know Lexapro is prescribed at 20mg..I wonder if my dose needs to go up b/c of all these changes going on? My Mom thinks the Neurontin is making me feel sad & i shouldn't take it. But I really think it's important to try to get all this under control...Anyone have any experience with Neurontin? My brother put it perfectly..he said I have had so many depressing things happen to me in my life in the past year & also been on so many meds it's hard to tell which is making me crazy lol. I like to think I'm not crazy & I know you would all understand that this disease can completely mess with our heads no matter what.
I started guitar lessons..it's keeping me focused on music. & I have a show coming up on Sept. 24th! I just hate when I get in these moods where all I do is dread...I'm sure some of you know how i feel!
<3