Need to talk to someone about adoption

[presley]

Hello to everyone,
I have had many female problems and could not carry a baby so I had a hystorectomy this past June. My husband and I really want to adopt! I really need to talk to someone who has gone through the process of adoption. If anyone has, and would like to talk to me please respond and I will get your phone number privately. I would really appreciate it!
Presley

[Romans8:28]

Though I have not been on your side of adoption, I was a young teenage mom
and choose to give my baby life and I had hoped at the time a better family
then I could provide her! That was 26+ years ago, however I worked with
women in crises pregnancy situations and hlepd with a few adoptions in the years that followed. I have been away from it for many years BUT if I can help you in any
way let me know.

Do keep in mind there are many different types of adoptions as well as different options.

If you are willing to take a little older child or one harder to place you will be able to adopt so much sooner! Sadly our courts are filled with youngsters that will bounce from foster home to foster home, unless they have someone willing! There is an adoption agency that places only children with disablities as well. They have an amazing support network for anyone interested in doing this however if you have never spent a lot of time around kids this might be very hard too.

There are open and closed adoptions too. IN an open adoption the natural mom or parents know where the child has been placed and you maintain some communications etc. with them. In a closed adoption there is no communications and they do not know
where the child is.

YOu can also adopt foreign children, there are countless around the world sitting in orphanages etc. These adoptions though are expensive and not as easy as one would think, but I know many who have adopted beautiful youngsters that are so precious and worth the work to do so.

Bottom line is you and your husband need to spend time a lot in thought etc. and writing down what you do and don't want in an adoptoin situation, as well as how much you can spend and the heart of your goal to adopt.

Not sure if I helped you in anyway but wanted to put that out there for you!

Shelly

pS it's late and I am so tired please ignore my typos

[ICNDonna]

I have never adopted, but I did work with an agency that handled adoptions. I wish you every success --- if at all possible, I recommend working with an established agency, rather than going the private adoption route.

Warm hugs,
Donna

[Romans8:28]

I definately agree with Donna on that one, even by many who mean well!!

However, do make sure that you check out an agency with the BBB and talk to SEVERAL families they have helped adopt. If they relegit and doing things right they will have references etc. even if they give the other couples your number etc. There are a lot of good agencies out there who are very professional but REALLY CHECK THEM OUT. I will add that my personal adoption was private and truthfully, the attorney a family friend did not follow several areas of the law. I could have come back on them to try to get custody etc, however my heart was what was best for my daughter so I didn't.
so never did.

Look for adoptions message boards as well so you an talk to people in your area. Truthfully even agencies can vary greatly. Having been on the other end, helpling moms
who choose to place up there kids I have seen some practices that bordered illegal and high pressure to get the babies. Only to find out that they were getting huge amounts from desperate couples wanting to adopt. This money did not go to provide good prenatal care of quality couseling for the mom either. Sadly there are always a few that will take advantage of the hurting, to profit themselves, so just be aware in advance and
do your reserach!

Like I said most will be very professional and provide you with the type of adoption you and your husband are most comfortable with,

There are a tremedous amount of message boards to provided info and support on adoption as well. When my daughter grew up we did reconnect through one of these as well, www.adoption.com . Other then that I was not very involved with them, my daughter had posted on the site to find me, but it looked like it provided a lot of resources that might be helpful to you!

I hope you find a child to fill that place in your heart!

Shelly

[suncaro23]

Presley,
I am a mom through adoption, so right now if you are feeling completely overwhelmed, just remember that it may be a long and frustrating road getting there, but it can happen if you have a lot of persistence, and it is all worth it!
My husband and I tried fertility specialists, but were only willing to go so far with that route. We had one failed attempt at an open domestic adoption, and the baby's mother changed her mind on Mother's day. There was a lot of pain involved in that for sure. Our next step was foreign adoption, and after 11 months of completing paperwork and waiting around, we got a referral for a beautiful 9 month old baby. She was absolutely stunning in the video we recieved, with these incredibly expressive eyes. Three months after seeing the video, we were able to go get her. She is now almost 11 years old, and people still comment about her beautiful eyes all the time.
Please do look around for a reputable agency, and talk to lots and lots of people who have gone through the process. See if there are any adoption conferences in your area or close by. Those were so helpful to me and gave me so much hope.
I wish you the best of luck, and please post any other questions you might have for me.
DAwn

[Romans8:28]

I am glad it appears you have been given some great advice as well as varied experience.
I noticed last night one of my IC friends on my facebook is getting ready to adopt a baby
through a foreign agency. She might be a great support to you. If you have a facebook and want me to connect you two, just send me a pm with your name or link to your facebook and I will add you as a friend. The ICN also has a facebook page as well!

Shelly

[emnzeus]

Just wondering if anyone else with IC has had trouble carrying full term. I was recently diagnosed but have had these symtoms since I was little. I've had 4 miscarrages and my doctor seems to think it is because of the IC. Does that even make any sense?

[Kara29]

I will be thinking about you and hope you find a way to have a baby in yours arms that you can call your own born from your heart!

Kara

[tigger_gal]

I just finalized our adoption Aug 7th. if you want to talk I am always available.