Why so mean?

[Michelle in KC]

I seriously need help. I am being so mean today. When the kids were leaving for shcool Justin (in kindergarten) tells me that he didn't do his homework last night. I was at a church meeting and DH stayed home with the kids. I am SOOO mad that he did not take care of Justin and his homework. I mentioned it to him and he made it sound as if it was not his fault. Right, like I was supposed to make sure the homewrok got done, while not at home, after I did laundry yesterday, cleaned out the catch all room, started to peel the wallpaper off the walls, and TRIED to rest a bit so maybe I would not hurt anymore. I need to get out of this house. If I do not go to work soon I do not know what will happen. I am so stressed out. I hurt. And I still have 20+ people coming over tomorrow at noon. 15 or so are kids. The kids' bedroom is a mess. My bedroom could use some straightening. I definately HAVE to get all the laundry done today and this weekend because it's going to rain ALL next week. Our house is so old that it is not wired for a dryer. I am just so overwhelmed right now. UGH. I can not handle it today. Oh, and I am supposed to go to a play tonight at a local playhouse. A friend gave me 2 tickets last night. So, that means drining in town and dropping the kids off at my sisters house. Then I have to be alone with HIM. Hope we can stand each other by that time. Then I have to at least pick up Emilee from my sister's because she has a recital at 8:30 Saturday morning. Oh ~ but I can not be in the room with her because I make her nervous. Whatever. Like playing infront of 90other people and judges won't make her nervous. Whatever. I just want to go back to bed.

Just pray for me and my sanity and my family.
Michelle :pray:

[dyno]

:kiss: Michelle!
Honey, you have got to slow down a bit. Meeting yourself coming and going! I hope you have a good weekend despite it all. :grouphug:

[creatingkarma]

I agree! Slow down! I used to sound like you. I would fret if my house wasn't spotless. I used to be such a perfectionist that if my knick-knacks were an inch out of place, I would have to move them back. I am still in the process of simplifying my life. I realized that I was driving myself crazy worrying about having a spotless house, especially since I have 2 kids & the house is never clean! I always feel like when I'm cleaning, everyone is just following me around undoing everything I just did. Now I don't care so much. If the company you are having knows you have IC, then I don't think they'd mind if the house wasn't totally clean. Just explain to them what you are going through. And if 15 of them are going to be kids, then what's the use of cleaning up anyway? It'll just be destroyed within 5 minutes of all those kids arriving & then you'll just have to do it all over again when they leave.

I completely understand about your husband not helping with the kids. Mine seems to have a problem with that also. Even if the husband is home, the kids still come to me to meet their needs. Hey what is DH? I've seen that on the boards before & don't know what it means.

Please take some time for yourself! It is very important! If mama ain't happy - nobody's happy! Sometimes I go to Walmart by myself & just look around just for time alone. And in the spring & summer, I like to go to the nursery & just gaze at the beautiful flowers & plants. I also like taking country drives. Just an hour a week can really help.

I get real cranky & all out of whack when I have a lot on my plate also. Especially around Christmas & birthdays. You are not alone!

I'm sorry that your daughter doesn't want you in the room with her for her recital. Maybe you could explain to her how much it would mean to you to be there & how much joy it would bring you. If that fails, well, you are the parent & you are the one that runs the show. I was on the other end of things while I was growing up. I played the flute & my mother never cared enough to come to any of my band concerts - even when I had solos. It really hurt & still does when I think about it today.

I hope you get to feeling better!

Karma

[HillaryD]

Michelle,
I can't really give you any advice, but I can tell you that I will be praying for you and send you hugs! Take care!
:kiss:
:grouphug:
:pray:
Hillary

[Dixiefireball]

hon you need to try to slow down and take care of your self. i know that is hard to do as a mother my self. your husband should have helped the baby with his homework My husband helps my children when i'm busy or sick.
hope you have a nice evening.
sending you hugs and prayers
Rhonda:butterfly

[Michelle in KC]

Well, I did manage to get hte hosue clean today and things done that had to be done before company got here.I hurt so badly tho.

Emilee had to be at school this morning at 8:30 for solo and ensemble competition. Her solo was at 8:30 and her duet was 8:50. BOTH times she scored a #1, which is like getting an A. I am very proud of her. Picture attached. Emilee is on the right in the black dress. She is so beautiful. So skinny. Such a lady. I am so proud of her.

So she and I got home and Justin is sick. His 'neck hurts' It is his throat. Used to call it his "ROPE" for throat. Now it's a neck. So I lok at it and it's red and swollen and he can barely swallow. I bought him some childrens chloraseptic spray and gave him ibuprofen liquid. (now I am out of the liquid) We'll have to go see the doc on Monday morning. He is cranky and not eating at all and barely drinking becuase "it hurts to swallow my spit". Low fever now too and it's time for his midicine and he's passed ot in bed. :rolleyes:

So, we had all these people over today to watch the movie. I hurt so badly I could not sit there and watch it at all. I got up and moved around, put laundry in the washer, hung them outside, anything just to not have to sit there and try to be all smiles and nice. If I were to lay down in bed I probably would not have gotten any rest, but who knows.

My Emilee went home with my sister and her 3 for the night. So all I ahve had to deal with is sickEE-Justin. He ate a couple of bites of cereal he wanted, and a few chips. He's just laid in bed and watched TV all night.

Well, tomorrow, if he is still sick I won't be going to church. With my pain I need a day off, but I'll be staying home with him. Someone else will just have to teach Sunday school for me. :rolleyes:

Anyway, here's Emilee's picture. Michelle

[MakinIT]

I am so sorry that all this is going on for you. man...ya gotta slow down and learn to say NO. that has been the hardest thing for me because I am a pleaser and I like people, especially my family, to be happy. AND I also like to have the perfect clean house. I'm learning to cope with that obsession but do have my moments of raging irritation with the fact that people in my house can't even throw away their damn wrappers or wipe up water in the bathroom. (Then I get the eye roll when I go on my rage...) Funny, the psychologist in me says " I know the nagging isn't going to do " but the mother in me says "dammit, we don't have to live like pigs, and I can't do everything!!!" I figure if they want to live like that, my husband has to, every couple months go on the rampage for me. Problem is, he secretely believes Ishould be doing more.......(At least I think he does) because of little comments he makes..I just say:toosh:

Anyway...SLLLOOOOWWWW her down, boss...and let everyone else know that you have to do that:) While you are hurting you just can't let all that crap ruin your life.:flower: :tsk: Especially when you didn't bring it on or ask for it.

Take care, eh...Tracey