worried,overwhelmed,scared

[Bromwynn]

I didnt know there was a place here to voice your worries and fears. I must say Im so relieved tonight to have found it. forgive I am so freaked tonight and I apologize now if i offend anyone.

Im going to a pain management specialist here in utah. i see a PT for my pelvic are, a psychotherapist and a doctor. it's $25 a copay for each one I see and I could see up to 3 a visit when they schedule it right. on top of this I pay a facility fee. its acrossed town and right money is Very tight at home.
I am also going to PT for both of my hands recovering from carpal tunnel surgery. been 10 weeks now and I still am experiencing LOTS of swelling, pain and feeling clumsy. I feel like a money pit.

I am a stay at home mom of 3 with 2 starting school soon, so just my youngest with me this year. Ive been trying to find something to do at home so I could at least help some out. my hubby is a manager at a freight salvage company and tries to be very understanding. but I can see the weight of all my medical bills starting to take their toll and oh man I feel so guilty and less of a wife and mom. ive had a flare for a week and half now. Im stressing over money,bills, school shopping,appointments and this is all fueling my flare. but I cant help it. I think I need my anti anxiety meds uped and im afraid since Im taking lortab for IC and my hands I may need a change there too but im deathly afraid of being treated like a junkie. both my mom and older brother are addicts. Im afraid of becoming them.
im sorry im negative and bawling my eyes out doesnt help.
I'd really like to know what you all think I could do, because and this sounds funny but I dont have any family to talk or turn to other than my hubby and we are both burned out at this point. on top of all this our truck-my vehicle died on us and we're down to one car now. It feels like someone has a doll out there with our faces on it stuck thru with a big pin.

Maybe I should stop the pain managemnt and focus on whats really going on with my hands or should I just wait and see on that and try the pain place so more. I just dont know anymore, I really feel like I've doomed my sweetheart with an unending medical mess when he deserves so much for all his hard work.

im so sorry everyone. I hope I didnt make anyone mad. I really needed to say it. feel free tho to email me if I did make anyone uncomfortable.
for me, this place is the only safe place I can say anything at all.


respectfully,

bromwynn

[jjt001]

Please don't worry, your post was totally understandable and certainly not offensive! I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I'm sure the stress isn't helping your IC, but stress is something that's very hard to avoid, especially when you're going through such a difficult time. I don't know that I have any great advice, but I wanted you to know that you do have a place to share your thoughts and feelings.

Since you're already seeing a psychotherapist do you think you could discuss your thoughts on needing to up your anti-anxiety drugs with him (or her)? I know it's hard to get there and to pay the copay, but it seems it would be worth it to try to get some help for the stress you are undergoing. Again, I don't have a lot of suggestions to offer, but hopefully some of the great people here on the boards will -- they've come through for me many times! And we are definitely here to listen. Take care and I hope things start looking up soon!

[ICNDonna]

:grouphug: I wish I could help.

Donna

[VickiB]

:grouphug: Life can be hard sometimes! :grouphug:
I can't see anything about your post that would offend anyone. You have some very real concerns & pressures to deal with and talking about it can often be helpful.

Ive been trying to find something to do at home so I could at least help some out.
Do you have any talents or skills that you might do at home and translate into dollars?

Vicki

[SharonA]

Don't add your post to the list of things you are concerned about. It was fine. I am so sorry that things seem to be getting more and more out of your control. It is fine to come here and let it out. We all understand because we all have times like this.

(((Hugs)))

[LithEruiel]

Don't worry about your post Bromwynn. That's what we're here for. I have IC and carpal tunnel also...it can be very frustrating. I work in a pharmacy and see people taking all kinds of very strong pain meds and my doctor doesn't even want to give me naproxen (for the carpal tunnel). Thankfully my carpal tunnel hasn't been bad lately. Having chronic pain is so difficult and you don't want to become dependent on meds, but you still have pain.

[babygirlh1]

Dear bromwynn,
I have the same fear, that I will become some type of junkie. I think the fact you are seeing a pain management specialist is a great idea. From my understanding, they are taught how to prevent someone from becoming an addict. In my state, doctors will not give a refill on pain meds. If you are going to a pain management doctor, you have to physically go see that doctor each month for a refill. A bit of a bother for some, but I guess it is so the doctor can keep tabs on the patient. I hope that your situation will turn around. When it rains, it pours doesn't it? Also, have you asked about reducing your weekly visits? I had a similar situation with p.t. and we changed my routine. I went two times a week instead of 3 and changed my exercise routine at home (per the p.t.'s advice). Hey saving $25 a week is $100 per month. It made a huge differnece for me. If that is not an option, then perhaps a reminder that all things are temporary may offer a little encouragement. You will be well again one day and not need to go so often. :smile tee

[Bromwynn]

thank you all. I called the pain mgnt place and see the dr next week. it's the same here too, you have to go in for refills or changes. I also called my insurance (while I can considering these days) and asked for them to investigate whether i'm paying over and why the facility fee. this time they actually hinted that the pain place may not be billing it all right. /knock on wood.
at least I am trying to make it different. flare was less today down from nuclear war to forest fire..:pray:

love to all, with just my hubby to understand and talk about IC too, it gets too much for both of us. I think all of you were angels for me this week. Thank you more than I can say.:angel:


love
bromwynn

[Bekah79]

:grouphug::pray::angel:

Keep The Faith:pray: