Just Married

[alianne]

I was just married 3 weeks ago - it was a wonderful ceremony and reception on our farm --- we were both virgins when we got married and although i had heard that sex could hurt, I told myself it wouldn't. We were so happy when it didn't hurt enough to make me want to stop - our honeymoon was great, some pain but I thought that was because I am kind of small .. the last few days after sex I am in great pain and have to sleep in the other room so that I don't wake him up with moaning. I want to have sex with him and I like it bt the pain afterwards is so bad. Is there anything that I can do?

[ICNDonna]

Please see your doctor.

Donna

[Julie B]

Hi there and congratulations!

Donna is right. Please have a talk with your doctor to be sure you don't have an infection. If you are cleared, you can search the boards (especially this board) for a lot of suggestions. It sounds like you have a sweet understanding husband. Hang in there, you will find a way to work it out. Most of us do.

Gentle hugs,

Julie

[leelee88]

Congrats On the Wedding!!

I agree with the others, please see your Dr to rule out an infection..

[alianne]

Ok so I did get a urine culture and no infection - now what?

[Briza]

Were you tested for yeast and bacterial vaginosis? Gyn is the go to dr for this, but your GP can also test and treat for these. I ask because these infections can be sex-induced...these are not STDs..just sex itself can create the right conditions for yeast or bacteria to flare up (esp for virgins or those who have abstained for a while...) and the symptoms can mimic IC symptoms, and can also cause IC symptoms.
In the meantime, some OTC stuff that has helped me in the past is Tylenol and Uristat/AZO standard. Also cold packs of anything really cold placed where ever you may be feeling burning and/or inflammation can help a lot. Heating pad is also good for muscle spasms and body aches (lower ab, lower back).
My bladder can tolerate ibuprofen and that med helps me A LOT for inflamed tissues 'down there'....but caution is advised because many with IC report that ibuprofen causes or worsens IC symptoms. I don't take it for my bladder, but for the delicate tissues we gals have down there that are easily irritated and inflamed. Thankfully my bladder tolerates it b/c it works great for my post sex inflammation!
Feel better soon. Keep us posted!
PS>>>it probably is best for you to abstain until you are ruled out for yeast and bacterial vaginosis, and please abstain if you are already irritated, raw, or in any kind of pain...until you are feeling better. So not fun, but your body will thank you for it in the long run!!!;)

[cem]

Congratulations!

My hubby and I were virgins when we got hitched too. (The physical part of our honeymoon was something of a disaster. ;) But now the sex is amazing & even with IC we still have an amazing time!)

I would actually recommend maybe having a repeat urinalysis done. I've had UTIs that didn't show up for 2 or 3 UAs, then WHOOSH there it was... all the while I knew it was there!

Having pain while in the honeymoon stage is particularily bad for people who were virgins.... since you hadn't had sex, and suddenly BAM, can have all the sex you want, you feel entitled to it. However you might want to consider slowing things down. (We had to learn the hard way that having sex every night just wasn't an option for us.)

Also keep in mind that there are plenty of other options, besides intercourse, that can help keep the bedroom lively. :)

Good luck with finding out what has happened. You might try an ice pack at night to help with the pain. There are many other places on ICN that have post-sex pain help info.

((HUGS)) ~cem

PS~ Love your CSL quote! One of my fav authors!

[gatorgal]

A Physical therapist who specializes in pelvic floor disorders, can help you lessen the pain during and after sex like mine did. Mine helped with using vaginal dilator and deep breathing exercises which relax my pelvic floor.Like briza says, good idea to abstain for now and maybe test for other infections.

I have read on the boards where some women will take low dose valium suppositories before sex, or lidocaine gel. Sitz bath beforehand might be a good idea. Are you seeing a pelvic floor doc e.g. Uro-gynecologyst?

You also have to remember you really exercised and stretched a muscle you haven't really exercised before.

Keep us updated on your situation

[gatorgal]

Have you looked into the intimacy books they sell in the ICN shop?

[alianne]

Thanks everyone - and yes it is cool being virgins and getting married - we actually were amazed that it went so well - and the pain wasn't too bad - I actually thought I was having an ovarian cyst because when he did deep thrusts it hurt like a lot of pressure on my right side. But it hasn't gotten better so I am wondering if it was my bladder hurting rather than my ovary?

no infection - had several tests.

[cem]

It could be he is bumping into your cervix. That sometimes happens with really deep thrusting. It is not at all pleasant for the woman. Sometimes just changing positions (such as man coming from behind) makes all the difference.

Just don't over do it & try some variety to see how things play out. :) A good book about sex might help. I don't have any specifically for ICers, but I do have one I could recommend if you're interested. PM me if you'd like the title.

I've finding that I think the severe pain I had on our honeymoon might actually have been from Vulvadynia, so it explains alot about my own sex life! Had a major Ah Ha moment while reading through an online tutorial about the disease.