finally i'm gonna get help...

[AngKat]

so it's 5:30 am & my bladder woke me up with a painful trip to the potty...:toilet:

even though i'm only 21 i feel as if i've been battling a form of depression for some time now. and whenever i take a medication that messes with the brain things only get worse. this past year really has me spinning in a whirlwind of crying & constant struggle. you ALL know the pain i'm talking about.

now that i'm done college & i'm back @ home (not such a positive environment) things are hitting me really hard.

i've decided i need professional help. Next Monday I will be seeing a therapist that has a lot of experience dealing w/ people that have medical issues & deal with heavy duty medications & things like that.

I hope it helps.

I'm sad, though. Of course my Mom goes, "I don't know what you're going to do when your insurance runs out. You're going to have to stop all these doctors cold turkey. I hope you get over your obsession of going to doctors soon"

You think she'd understand? She's been in the appointments. She sees the pain I'm in, the tears. But apparently I'm doing this to myself & I enjoy it & I'm a hypochondriac? please.

Whatever, I need a therapist & I know it. :mad:

[dg2901]

Welcome to the morning pee club! :hi:

Good luck with your upcoming appt; and try to tune your mom's (and anyone else) comments out in the meantime, as hard as that may be.

Wishing you well....
D

[ICNDonna]

I think seeing a therapist is a very good idea. It's something most of us with IC need at one time or another.

Warm hugs,
Donna

[SharonA]

Good for you. :smile tee

[babygirlh1]

Congratulations on taking your life back! A couple of years ago, I had the worse downward period in my life. My primary care physician sent me to a therapist (I didn't think I needed one) :rolleyes: The therapist changed my life. She helped me make decisions on how I wanted to handle being "sick". I wish I had gone to her the minute after I was diagnosed with endometriosis. She truly helped me get my life back. Good luck to you, you are worth the investment.

[Mrs. Peel]

I'll join in with your supporters! It's cool that you've found a specialist.

Therapy has come a long way since Freudian Analysis was the way to go. We now have behavior modification and cognitive therapies. Analysis was to help you understand how you got where you are. The new therapies help you learn to change your habits and unrealistic thought patterns without changing who you are and want to be. After you get acquainted, most therapists will outline a treatment plan including your time frame as a goal.

My problems have always been non-assertiveness and fear of my own anger. I was afraid losing my nonconstructive habits would turn me into a b**ch, but it made me more like my childhood role model, Mrs. Peel. She was way cooler than Batgirl. Even the theme music was better.

So don't worry about losing touch with your creative side. It actually blossoms as the pollution gets cleared out.

Love and peace, darlin'.

[TexasHoney]

I also say "Welcome to the morning pee club." Morning are really rough for me.Good luck, I hope the therapy helps you.

Hang In There

[kiffy313]

I, too just want to say "good for you" in taking the steps to get what you need...it is stressful enough just dealing with "chronic" pain/diseases. I have a super therapist who has helped me see things objectively...sometimes it just helps having someone listen and confirm what you feel...one example that really stands out to me in talking with my therapist is when I said "I felt 'obligated' to do (whatever) for my parents"...she said, "why"...I said "because they raised me and were good parents"...she said, "well, I think they chose to have you; and really it was their responsibility to raise you as well as they could, and not expect you to 'repay' them later down the line."...I thought, hmmm...and then she said what really got me, "would you expect your son to do certain things for you because you were a good parent to him while he was growing up?"...I didn't even hesitate to say, "Of course I would not!!"...that really was an eye-opening conversation for me...I have the tendency to "do" for others, even when I may not feel like it, etc...and I really did not realize at times it was out of "feeling guilty"...when really I want to be able to do things because I love that person, or enjoy what I am doing...Anyways, sorry for the long dissertation...:bonk:. I hope it all helps you and things work out well...
Kif

[ophelia33]

Hi, I'm glad you've decided to go for you. I don't have the best support from family. Dad doesn't speak to me, Mom thinks I should "get out and do things", "try to sleep", cheat on the diet once in a while b/c "a little bit won't hurt", "stop thinking about it it only makes it worse", "sleep w/ a pillow under my legs", "stop drinking so much water before bed", and the list goes on and on and on and yes, Mom has been with me to an IC seminar and she has seen me in tears from lack of sleep and hunger.

I know all too well what family has the power to do. They can lift you up or knock you down. I too have a therapist and sometimes he is there to listen to me when I need to vent about family.

I wish you luck. Don't give up, therapy can be hard and it can be slow going. I believe in it and although I may cry through it b/c I'm in pain from eating something bad I still try to make my appointments.

Sometimes my Mom downplays my illness b/c she doesn't know what to do or say and she ends up putting her foot in her mouth. She doesn't like to see me hurting and she doesn't know how to help. She can't fix it and I think she feels powerless too.

Perhaps your Mom doesn't want to really acknowledge you have these illnesses b/c she doesn't want you to have them.

I'm not taking sides. Currently I have not called or spoke to my mom for a week after a blow up with her. I can't be all consumed by what she thinks. She doesn't have any limitations/illnesses put on her. I do.

A therapist hopefully can at least give you validation and allow you to feel whatever you are feeling.

Trust me, I know how it feels to hear "that's why you need to hurry up and get well so you can get a job so you have health insurance". I'm 36 years old, I've worked for 20 years before this crappy illness and depression. Does she not think I don't know I need to hurry up and get well so I have insurance? Yeah, I'm just taking my good ole time being sick...sigh.

Best wishes and hugs,
Ophelia:hi: