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View Full Version : World Premiere of my IC story


Ajj1ao
06-24-2009, 03:54 AM
This is the first IC forum I’ve joined. I’m a 25-year-old woman who was diagnosed w/ IC seven years ago. I’ve never met anyone else with this disease, so I’ve never been able to talk to anyone who understands what it’s like. I’ve been poking around the posts - it’s good to know that I’m not the only one living with this! I’d like to participate in the discussion, so I’ll share my IC experience, typing in the novel glow of realizing that those reading will understand. If you have had a similar experience, or have productive advice, please share!

Long car trips were the bane of my existence when I was a kid. Unfortunately, my family, who lived in MD, liked to drive places like Florida and Wyoming. So even as a child, I would refuse all beverages for the entire day, so I could pee on something close to a normal person’s schedule. My secret rule was that I was not allowed to drink anything until we were installed somewhere for the rest of the night (i.e., home, a hotel). I’d rush into the hotel rooms and gulp down as much water as I could hold, knowing that I would not let myself drink anything else for another 24 hours. My “small bladder” was a family joke. I would be yelled at to “hold it” and “stretch your bladder!” It was humiliating. “When we get home this time, we are taking you to see a doctor!” Dad yelled once. I could not think of anything more awful than being taken to the doctor over my bladder. But I wouldn’t land at the urologist for another ten years. I (and my parents) just told ourselves that my bladder was small and it wasn’t a medical issue.

I always had to know exactly where the bathroom was throughout my childhood and teen years. I thought it was normal to get up five times a night to pee. Then late in high school I began to have severe pelvic pain, especially after drinking soda. I’d be doubled over with burning pain in the mornings before school. At a routine physical when I was about 18, I looked at the question on the doctor’s inventory: “did I urinate frequently?” Well, sure, I thought, maybe I do on some days. To my discomfort, the doctor asked me about it. Did I pee more than eight times a day? Duh, doesn’t everyone? Apparently not. I got my first referral to a urologist.

Thank goodness she was a sensible doctor who didn’t mess around with antibiotics for a nonexistent infection or a referral to a psychiatrist. After one look at my symptoms she handed me an “Interstitial Cystitis Questionnaire”. I looked at the questions and felt like they had been written about me. Other IC sufferers will understand what a huge moment this was for me! To realize that I was not a crazy obnoxious kid with a too-small bladder: I had a disease that other people had, too. Even before I began any treatment, this was a moment of bliss – for the first time, feeling like my bladder problems weren’t my fault.

I went through the usual IC diagnostics, including ultrasounds, urodynamics, Cystometrogram, urinalysis, hydrodistention and Cystoscopy. It was agony each time I was catheterized. “No, it’s not painful, it’s just a bit uncomfortable,” the physician’s assistant admonished as I yelped in pain. The diagnosis was confirmed by a second urologist. He appeared at my bedside as I came out of the anesthesia for the Cystoscopy. “I could see your bladder bleeding. You have Interstitial Cystitis,” he announced, and left. On my follow-up visit, I tried to ask him if the disease would progress, or if it would affect a future pregnancy. He was very dismissive, saying there was no point in talking about that yet (I was 20 at the time). I went on a regimen of Elavil, Prosed and Elmiron. The medications were a pain to take and, over the months, didn’t seem to help. I disliked the urologist anyway, and even a simple pelvic exam was painful. I didn’t go back to a urologist for five years. I swore off the drugs and told myself I was managing my symptoms by staying dehydrated and swearing off coffee, tea, soda, caffeine, tomatoes and most fruit juice.

Meanwhile, especially once I got married and moved in with hubby, the sexual problems got into full swing. Sex is agonizing – during a flare, it’s some of the worst pain I ever experience. I try to breathe and meditate to bear the pain, so it doesn’t affect my partner more than it has to. My libido is pretty much rock-bottom, since sex is, in my mind, irrevocably linked with massive pain. I try to have sex at least once a week regardless, for hubby's sake. Sometimes hubby is understanding, and calls the disease my “si-si-cystitis”.

I always kept a busy schedule and don’t let my symptoms stop me unless they’re at their most severe. Pain seems most acute early in the day, and sometimes this requires an extra thirty minutes curled up in bed. I work full-time in a physically active job, and also work as a writer, doing theatre reviews. This definitely ups the difficulty of daily life – I try to get a seat on the aisle, and I’m at the front of the line (you know which line!) at intermission. Ever since I got my diagnosis, my family was a lot nicer about my constant fixation on where the bathrooms are (and my hatred of long, lonely highways). I hate trying to explain the disease to others who notice on a day when I’m in severe pain. If I have to, I just say I have a condition that feels like a lifelong bladder infection, but is not an infection.

Life’s gotten a big harder in the past few years, when I started with worrisome achy muscles/joints all over my body and painful skin on top of the bladder problems. After bouncing between PCs and specialists for months and feeling like a pincushion from doctors trying to diagnose Lupus and Rheumatoid Arthritis, I was diagnosed w/ Fibromyalgia, which I’ve since learned some sources associate w/ Interstitial Cystitis. My rheumatologist suggested that the fibromyalgia was a result of the IC: my body had been bombarded w/ chronic bladder pain for so many years that now my nervous system is screwy and I feel pain everywhere all the time. Anyone else been told similar?

This week I went to a new urogynecologist, trying to effect a shining new dawn of mature, proactive self-care. “Well, you’re textbook,” he said as he pulled off his gloves after the exam. “Textbook what?” I said. “Interstitial Cystitis,” he said. He doesn’t seem overly concerned about my pain, and did not seem optimistic that there was help for the pain. He gave me a prescription for VESIcare, noting that it would help my frequency but not my pain. We discussed InterStim therapy and I decided to try a few more drugs before going to surgery.

I try not to let the IC rule my life. The whole “fluids are the enemy” mindset, which I adopted to control the symptoms even before I knew they were symptoms, does make life difficult. And few things are more horrifying than the prospect of a bus without bathrooms. And don’t get me started on highways without rest stops every twenty miles. Twenty-something friends think it’s bizarre that I never have more than one beer. Gee, thanks for reading this tiresome novel about yours truly. First time I sit down to write about my IC and it gets a little out of hand. I went to the bathroom twice since I started writing this. Let me know if you’ve had similar experiences (bathroom breaks optional while you type).

SharonA
06-24-2009, 08:16 AM
:welcome: to the IC Network...:)

It sounds like you are dealing with a lot of stuff right now. For that, I am truly sorry.

I hope you know that there are a lot of medications/treatments available to you besides the ones you listed. Please take a look at the information found in this link: http://www.ic-network.com/patientlinks.html In there, you will also find the IC Diet, which helps most of us discover if we have any diet triggers.

Your description of your many car trips reminded me so much of all the trips my family made across country when I was small. My dad would stop when we needed gas or need to eat, unless my mother requested that he stop so she could use a bathroom or get a cup of coffee. That was a very long time ago when there were no such things and rest stops. The only public bathrooms were at gas stations and restaurants. Life certainly is much more convenient now.

:):):)

Rocklandgal
06-27-2009, 07:58 AM
Hey, I feel your pain! This may not be something you want to hear, but there is one thing that helps me out alot. (Of course, alot of other things should come first. Find a doctor that you like and really helps you. Definately concentrate on your diet. Be strict at first and give it time to help you. There are alot of medications and medication combinations that really help alot of people. There is therapy and many such things. The forums talk about alot of success stories!) We are so used to thinking bathroom bathroom, bathroom. Sometimes it is all we can think about. When I am feeling good, I have to pee alot less times. I know where every bathroom is and am very aware of my bladder. But I worried alot about it. We all do. For example, I go for an hour walk each day. I usually made it just fine, but what if I didn't. I did something to put myself at ease and make me be able to forget about it. I wear a pad. The ones I use have a waist band and a pad in the middle. You can't tell that I'm wearing it, and it is very comfortable. I seldom have to use it, but it gives me alot of relief to say to myself "If I get that desperate, I can always use the pad if I really need it". Alot of us have the tendancy to pee rather small amounts, not gallons, (that's part of our problem) so I have never had the problem of leakage or any such thing as that. Just an idea worth thinking about. No one will even know. Another thing that helped me was my choice of waters. Alot of us have discovered that alot of the waters out there (including tap water) is acidic. I purchased PH testing strips and tested tons of them. You know that we are supposed to drink ALOT of water. The water that I was drinking by the gallon every day was acidic. I was pouring gallons of acidic water on my bladder every single day! I tried the water suggested on the diet sheet and what a difference!!! It helped almost right away. So, this is just my take on things. Hope you can use any hints that you might find on these forums to help you to feel better.
Karen

chasingbliss
06-27-2009, 06:09 PM
:welcome: You have found a wonderful place, filled with supportive people and great advice/support. Thank you for sharing your story. It does help to read the experiences of others and know that you are not alone. I had to chuckle at your description of the PA's comment about the catheter because you were describing my first 4 instillations too! Some people just don't get it. :loco:

I am 34 and was diagnosed almost a year ago. Unlike a lot of folks, I never had any UTIs or other urinary issues prior to this so it kind of hit me out of the blue. I have been through a slew of medications/treatments. My frequency/urgency/retention are currently controlled by my Interstims, which I decided to have implanted after some serious soul-searching and discussions w/my doctor.

My main symptom is chronic, severe daily pain. After 6 months, none of the meds I was taking were helping w/my frequency/urgency and it was getting worse and worse. My urethral pain was so bad that I couldn't tolerate instillations, which were causing horrendous flares. Because I couldn't live with the daily pain AND the 30-35 trips to the bathroom every day :toilet:, I chose to get the Interstims, figuring I could get at least one 1/2 of the equation under control. For me the Interstims work really well - my frequency and urgency are completely back to "normal." :) And some folks find pain relief with them but I wasn't so lucky in that regard.

I have been in pain everyday for almost a year so I definitely understand how you are feeling. I too try not to let this disease run my life and try to keep what I call the "pain gremlins" out of my mind - those little monsters that try to get you down in the dumps when your whole body is hurting. I am fighting this thing with everything I have - currently, that would be acupuncture, physical therapy, meditation, strict adherence to the IC diet, and a bunch of pain meds. :lmao:

I hope you stick around on the forum. This place has been a lifesaver for me this last year. I have learned so much and felt a little less alone on those nights when IC and the gremlins were winning.

Take care
:flower:

DenySue
06-28-2009, 07:15 AM
:welcome:Welcome! I was so relieved when I found this incredible place for support and information, so I know how you feel. You will get lots of great advice and encouragement, and things will get better! I can only tell you what has helped me....and we are all very different, but the most important thing was finding a caring and knowledgable urologist. The diet is very important. Some of us are more diet sensitive than others, but getting on the diet and sticking with it until your bladder calms down will help you so much. Then you can experiment and see if there are some foods that you can tolerate. I take Elavil, which has made a huge difference for me, but some medications work for some people and don't for others. Make sure you drink lots of water. You might want to get "The IC Survival Guide" by Dr. Moldwin if you haven't already read it. Just know that we are all here for you!:)

christinap28
06-29-2009, 03:12 PM
oh my goodness I am so sorry for your pain and struggle. You truly are going thru alot right now. Welcome to the IC Network. It really is a good place to share your story. Take care.

Ajj1ao
06-30-2009, 12:54 PM
Hi All,

Many thanks to everyone who's replied to my initial post, both publicly and privately. I value all the advice I've gotten, but the most important thing to me is to connect for the FIRST TIME with other people who know what I've been through! I never realized that there were so many other people who know what IC is like - not just the physical symptoms, but the mental doldrums and anxieties. Before I was diagnosed, and in the years after when I had little support, I got into the mindset that my body was an obnoxious, defective body that no-one else would ever understand. When you can connect with others who know your pain, it's somehow easier to give yourself some credit for getting through life reasonably well despite your [inappropriate adjective here] bladder.