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rebekahpoet
05-28-2009, 07:13 PM
:cat::toilet:Dear Friends,
I posted my original post about a month ago. If any of you remember writing to me, since I am not in a position to remember everyone, can you please write back again.
I have been doing my best (as I do when I feel completely alone and overwhelmed) to burrow myself into a cave and I feel that nobody understands what I am going through who is close to me and I would be right.
I need help, advice and whatever else you wonderful members can give.
I waited a while to write back b/c I needed some distance from the site for a while, but also b/c I needed to get clarification on what I actually have.
Right now, I am so confused and I need some serious help!

Here is the chain of events, in a nutshell:
*About two months ago, I had a car accident in which the steering whell hit my pelvis.
**A few days later, I started getting a serious set of symptoms: Constant burning, pain as my bladder filled with urine, urgency and basic pain and discomfort in my pelvic region.
**As would be the beginning of the nightmare I am now in, I went to my family doctor and I asked for a urine culture. She did one and it came back that I had an infection.
**She put me on Amoxicyllin and my body resisted it and the infection did not go away.
**After a couple of weeks of being bounced back and forth from her to a new Urologist, I was totally confused.
**I went to the Urologist, who was supposed to be one of the better medical centers in Seattle and the doctor started yelling at me, when, with notes in hand (after realizing that this might be more than just a Urinary infection), I asked him if I could have Interstitial Cystitis.
**He asked me if I wanted to have a Cystoscopy right then, and, obviously not feeling comfortable in the office getting yelled at, I told him I did not want to do it. I also tried to ask him questions but it was very difficult. He wrote out a prescription for Elmiron and Detrol and told me to take them and when I asked him why I would take them, he said it would help me but he abruptly walked out and would not answer any of my other questions.
***From that point, I sought another Urologist locally. At that point, I had already called the offices of doctors on the IC website and tried to contact these doctors. Some of the offices were very, very rude and even some of the IC providers offices here in the NW listed on the website were very, very rude. The soonest appointment I got was July 16th with someone named Liz Miller and in the meantime, every other office was extremely difficult to contact. I got another appointment for July, but decided to go with Liz Miller.
***I saw my local Urologist, who told me in the beginning that I probably had multiple issues. He did not do a urine culture, even though my family doctor sent over records showing I had an active infection. He did not think it was a big deal or warranted attention.
***He set up an in office Cystoscopy. I still, all this time, up to today, have been continuing to feel like crap, to feel pain, to feel out of control, to feel that I still have questions about what is happening to me. I wanted to hve the Cysto where I was in the hospital.
***He found that I have, what he called, "Trigonitis". I saw my bladder on the screen, It was quite inflamed. It looked like little sores all along the Trigone of my bladder. He said (and we have argued about terminology ever since) that I have Trigonitis and not Interstitial Cystitis. *By this time, I lost several "friends" who left me during this time and family members who disappeared and wanted nothing to do with me.
****HERE IS WHAT IS CRUCIALLY IMPORTANT THAT I HAVE MANY, MANY QUESTIONS ABOUT AND WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM ANYONE ABOUT:
1.) When I went on the Internet to look up this condition, I found tons of information on Interstitial Cystitis that I had been researching for a month, but not on Trigonitis. In fact, you will see most of my postings from Rebekah LaSala on the Internet from me about it and why there is not more written on it.
It then occurred to me that Trigonitis is just another form of Interstitial Cystitis and that this is something that Urologists argue over and that I wanted to be empowered.
During this whole time, the whole month of April and May, I have been of five different antibiotics, none of which have worked in knocking out this infection. The infection was still there three weeks ago and I had to go to my family doctor for that since my Urologist did not do a culture. I AM STILL WAITING FOR RESULTS ON THE CULTURE AND AM GOING IN TOMORROW TO FIND OUT ABOUT THAT, but in the meantime, I feel that I am going crazy.
Last Friday at our last appointment, the doctor said that he was out of his league and that I needed to see a specialist in IC. He said that he did not do the treatments and did not know what I woudl need. The thought of getting another Cysto bothers me greatly, because I had excrutiating pain the next day upon peeing, beyond what I could even describe. After all of that, I did not tell him that I had already been looking into other specialists in IC (of which there are not many here) and that I was going to Liz Miller June 16th, of which I am supposedly getting an hour and have not idea how I am going to fit in all of my questions and everything I have to say.
Sex has been out of the question and I tried it once with my husband recently and it proved to be very painful. I have not been able to afford most of the products on this site b/c of getting a small amount every week for unemployment and Greg working two jobs, but I have eliminated most things from my diet that would cause any problems at all, which I already had a lot of sensitivities to: Vinegar, processed foods, processed meat, pickles, white foods, fruit juices, sodas, etc. I only mostly eat: cooked and raw vegetables (no peppers) and veggie burgers, bananas, rice milk (lactose intolerant) and nuts, etc. Very bland.
I need help. There are still questions I have about this lingering infection, like:
1.) If this is still a lingering infection, then wouldn't that have caused a lot of the inflammation I currently have or is the inflammation separate?
2.) What is causing my pain? Is it the infection, Interstitial Cystitis or Trigonitis or both?
3.) Do I have pelvic floor and how is that contributing? If I do have pelvic floor, how is that contributing to everything else I have?
4.) What do I do from here? I have almost lost my husband and feel I am losing him for not knowing how to deal with the pain. If I was employed, I would have lost my job b/c I cannot handle anything and right now feel working would be out of the question, but if I get a job, I have to work. (No prospects yet.) I tried to volunteer and have not even been capable of dealing with that and got "fired" from a volunteer job.
5.) I also have about 100 pounds to lose and I need to exercise as well adn I have been prescribed Metformin as my doctor discovered insulin resistance, but right now I am taking "Topiaz" (a new drug similar to Sanctura or Detrol) and am not even sure if it is helping or what I am taking this for. Every time I try to exercise, (I also have fibromyalgia) I have severe burning and pain in my pelvic area. B/c I do have 100 pounds to lose, that is complicating everything.
6.) Depression: I feel myself getting more and more depressed and do not want to live this way. I want things to change, I want to be an advocate for this condition, but right now, I am not even able to help myself or see what works.
7.) I got a Renal Ultrasound and still have not gotten the results or the results to the culture. I NEED HELP AND SUGGESTIONS b/c I am going into the Urologist tomorrow.
8.) Last week, the Urologist said if I still have an infection, hemay need to do a Cathether urine culture b/c my bladder is resistant to so many medicatons.
9.) A lot of my pain spreads and is centered across my right side.
10.) I would really appreciate if anyone could tell me what else HELPS, b.c I do not care about having to change things or my diet to fix the problem or get some relief, but I do want some relief or some kind. The antibiotics and spasm medication do not seem to help.I do not have much money for fancy products.
11.) I am currently seeing a Naturopath and am taking a hodge podge of a solution she said would help wtih Cystitis that I put in my water and I am relying on here b/c I do not knwo where else to start. For supplements, I take Vitamin C and D and I take Calcium pills. I take Fish oil and an antidepressant.
CAN SOMEONE HELP ME OR OFFER ANYTHING? ALSO, ANY THOUGHTS ON THIS WHOLE TRIGONITIS THING? Of that, I am eternally grateful and feel free to email me on: Seattlepoet@gmail.com as well, my personal e mail.

12.) I AM LONELY, IN PAIN, DEPRESSED, WHEN I TELL PEOPLE I HAVE INTERSTITIAL CYSTITIS, I AM AMAZED AT HOW MANY PEOPLE DO NOT KNOW WHAT IT IS AND LOOK AT ME LIKE I DO NOT KNOW WHAT I AM SAYING. I HAVE GOT NOBODY ELSE I KNOW OF WITH IT AND I AM FEELING THAT MY WHOLE WORLD HAS TURNED UPSIDE DOWN. I ALREADY BEAT PANIC DISORDER IN TWO YEARS AND I BEAT A NEUROLOGICAL CONDITION CALLED PSEUDOTUMOR BUT I CANNOT SEEN TO BE BEAT THIS B/C OF THE CONSTANT PAIN.
Sincerely,
Hurting in Seattle
:cat::toilet:

Just one Moment
05-28-2009, 08:13 PM
Hi Rebekah,

I'm glad you're here, and while I'm afraid I'm too new here myself to give you any "expert" advice or answer most of your questions, I do want to welcome you (or re-welcome you?), and tell you at least that I can relate to so much of what you write.

I have been through the numerous Dr.s and ER, the several rounds of antibiotics, one more additional complication after another, a couple of incidents of less-than-friendly medical people, and the overwhelming sense of isolation and depression. I think that tends to hit especially hard when you are treated the way you were in the Dr. office or clinic, because it's the one place where you expect that you and the suffering you're enduring will be understood.

One question I believe I can safely answer is that, yes, you could have both an infection and IC. I have a "working diagnosis" of IC, and I also had a UTI a couple of weeks ago after a bladder instillation.

Regarding your depression, please find someone to talk to. You will find a lot of wonderful support and compassion here from people who "get it," but it may also help a lot to have someone you can sit down with face-to-face. I know you say you have a small income at this point, but look try looking in your yellow pages or calling your local hospital to find an agency that may charge on a sliding scale. You might also check this site's support group listings to find out if there is one near you.

Finally, as hard as I know it is right now(because I'm still working on this one myself!), try to remember that when anyone anywhere is rude or just not very understanding/supportive that that behavior is about that person and how they're feeling, and not because your pain and your needs are not valid. Don't let anyone make you feel that you're overreacting because you cry or get frustrated. You've endured a lot of suffering, and you are entitled to your feelings.

I am so sorry you're suffering so much, and hope you find some answers and relief soon. Hang in there; I know others with more experience will be along to help you.

rebekahpoet
05-28-2009, 09:19 PM
Dear Just One Moment,
I want to thank you... I am a writer, but am too tired to write as much asi want to, but I want to THANK YOU for urging me to get help and keep going. You are definitely right, I need to find someone to talk to, but what I forgot to include (which I added) is that counseling is hard for me b/c of the fact that one counselor I saw for a year before this all happened betrayed myself by perpetrating herself as an abusive family member to get me to "wake up" about my life. All it did was damage me terribly and make me distrustful of counselors. I tried another counselor, but she said that suicidal thoughts ( at the time of a really bad "flare" that lasted for days...I am guessign it was a flare b/c I hav nothing else to call it) were not an emergency, so I thought she was a quack.
I am an HSP, Highly Sensitive Person, so I realize that this is not an easy thing for me to have.
I wanted to JUST THANK YOU FOR BEING A LOVING HUMAN BEING AND OFFERING ENCOURAGEMENT...IT MEANS MORE THAN YOU REALLY KNOW ON THIS DARK NIGHT. I HAVE HAD MANY OF THOSE...I THINK A LOT OF US HAVE.
I wanted to just tell you that I want to HEAR YOUR STORY TOO AND YOUR STRUGGLES AND WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH B/C THAT WILL HELP ME AND IF THER EIS ANY WAY YOU CAN OR WANT TO SHARE THAT, PLEASE DO. Also, though I do not have your personal e mail, feel free to e mail me at: seattlepoet@gmail.com again.
I appreciate your validating me and acknowledging me at this time. This is the hardeset time of my life. I am a pretty spiritual person, but currently am too deep in the forest to see why I am going through this and all of the hell I have been through in the past two years.
Please share with me what helped you, tell me about a distillation, tell me what happened to help your infection go away and anything else you can share.
Again, I am making an extra point to find a counselor...one woman seemed great last week, but never called back. I am going to follow up with her.
Peace and Love,
Rebekah

gatorgal
05-29-2009, 01:34 AM
Rebakah, so sorry to hear,
I myself have seen a psychiatrist for anxiety and depression due to ICand he has given me medication that aleved my IC and anxiety (lyrica and cymbalta).What anti-depressent are you taking? Some anti-depressants are more beneficial to IC than others. It can also take 4-6 weeks to take full affect.I'm not advocating a medication you should take, but seeing a pychiatrist might be beneficial to your mental anguish as well as your IC.

You might want to look up support groups for washington state on this network, I think it might be under patient support. Even if their isn't a support group near Seattle, maybe you can contact a leader for support, references, and ideas etc....

You also stated you take vitamin C , which is highly acidic, and can be very irritating to the bladder. Before I was officialy diagnosed my doc had me taking cranberry and vitamin C pills, which mad my bladder even angrier then it already was.

It's not unusual for a lot of us IC'rs to go through a couple of urologists til we find one we're are at least content with. Typically the urologists (at least my experience), that are top notch and in demand, have a bit of a waiting period for an appointent.

What anti-spasmodics are you taking? Have you been prescribed atarax( anti-anxiety, anti-histamine, and anti spasmodic)? A lot of people with IC have found this drug beneficial. One of the theories of IC there is an overabundance of histamine in the bladder, which will increase bladder inflammation.It is one of the cheaper drugs.

Hopefully your UTI resolves, because a UTI in an IC bladder will piss it off (no pun intended).

Since your bladder showed irritation in an office cystoscopy, wonder if the new urologist will do a cystoscopy and hydrodistention under anethesia. It might be more revealing .



Good Luck

ICNDonna
05-29-2009, 03:03 AM
I also noticed that you are taking vitamin C and calcium --- you need to be extremely cautious about those --- I take Tums for calcium on the recommendation of a physician. I also noticed you are eating bananas as a part of your IC diet, which are a problem for many ICers. I suggest you look at the IC diet section of the Patient Handbook on this site for diet direction.

I was also diagnosed with trigonitis before I had my hydrodistention, which diagnosed my interstitial cystitis. It can help to stick with one doctor until you are diagnosed. Ruling out other possible problems is a part of making an IC diagnosis and that can take time.

And please see a qualified professional counselor to help you deal with your situation. We are here to offer support and encouragement, but are not qualified to counsel you.

I hope you are diagnosed soon. I think my worst time with IC was before I was diagnosed.

Donna

VickiB
05-29-2009, 04:43 AM
I am so sorry to read what you're going through. It never ceases to amaze me how rude and uncaring some doctors and/or their staff can be! We go to them seeking help, are quite vulnerable from being in pain, scared, etc, and are treated with disdain! I think their education must be lacking in this area.

I, too, wanted to mention the banana as being something you may want to avoid. I made that mistake when I was new, looking more for things that were obviously acidic and thinking a banana was a bland, safe bet. It wasn't. If you haven't already found it, this cheat sheet is very helpful: http://www.ic-network.com/diet/dietcheatsheet.html

Something else that jumped out at me was you'd mentioned "I am currently seeing a Naturopath and am taking a hodge podge of a solution she said would help with Cystitis that I put in my water". You may want to double check what is in this solution. Most equate cystitis with infection and many believe in making the urine more acidic as a form of treatment. "Drink lots of cranberry juice" (or something similar), they'll say. This may work for cystitis in a normal person, but if someone has IC, it's about the worst thing you can do!

The time before diagnosis really is the darkest time! Hang in there -It will get better!

Vicki

KristyKay
05-29-2009, 05:19 AM
Hey Rebekah!

I just wanted to chime in and tell you that you are not alone in your struggle to find a way to deal with this unfortunate condition. I am new here as well and trying to sort through all of the madness.

I noticed you said you eat veggie burgers - be careful about that because a lot of them have soy protein in them and I believe that soy can be a big problem for IC-ers.

Please make sure you find someone to talk to - a counselor, a support group in your area - someone. It's so important.

One day at a time right now....hang in there.

You're not alone.

Be Well,
Kristy

chinny7150
05-29-2009, 05:55 AM
kristy, i am so sorry about your situation. imipramine helped me sleep and reduced bladder pain. i too have had a long standing bladder infection with ic, and multiple hunner ulcers. my pain is not gone, but so far not incompasitating like it was before i was diagnosed. i am a retired rn and have had "problems" with uncaring, idiotic physicians. keep plugging away at it. have your husband read some stuff on ic, and perhaps he will understand what you are going thru. remember this, nothing stays the same including your situation and your pain. just keep trying and you will be sucessful in your endevours.how about a woman doc, how about prelief before eating. how about giving yourself a hug for all that you've been through.... i hug you with this note.
chinny7150

chinny7150
05-29-2009, 05:59 AM
sorry for the wrong name, won't let me fix it. hey, i meant what i said.
chinny7150

Mrs. Peel
05-29-2009, 07:20 AM
Dear Rebecca

Your poet's soul does sound overwhelmed! I'm so sorry to hear you're having trouble with doctors. What a mess. At least you've come back here, where people will understand what you're going through to some extent. It's a good thing you feel comfortable enough to vent your fear and frustration. We are the exact people to vent to about IC.

I have some suggestions for you, too. Please remember I won't take it personally if you decide they don't work for you.

I don't tell people I have IC right off. If they notice I'm not my former self, I tell them I have been sick for a while. If they ask what it is, I tell them I've just been diagnosed with an obscure auto-immune disease, but I'm (working on, in your case) being treated now and should improve, but slowly. If they ask more, I tell them it attacks the lining of my bladder. If they ask more, I tell them it's IC. This is how I found out one of my customers has had it for years! She is apparently in remission, now.

The other thing is that peanuts are also pretty bad for a lot of us. I used to practically live on homemade trail mix, and giving up a lot of nuts was hard. Better to stick to cashews (I know, they're expensive!) and almonds. I can also tolerate sunflower seeds, and SunButter is a great peanut butter substitute and readily available. Check the nuts and fats section of the diet list to see what's what.

Life as a poet is hard enough, being so sensitive. If you do look for a therapist, I recommend cognitive/behavior mod therapy. I was afraid that healing my emotional pain would affect my sensitivity and creativity. It's been just the opposite. I'm spending less time feeling bad, I have more people in my life, and I'm no longer so muddled by agony that my art suffers

Drink lots of water.

Remember to breath.

You are loved.

SharonA
05-29-2009, 08:17 AM
The others have pretty much mentioned the items that screamed at me while reading you post...Vit C, bananas, veggie burgers (possible soy) and the solution from the Naturopath. So...There really is much I can add that the other haven't already said except to say I hope you will think again about finding someone who is trained to help you deal with the emotional problems that can come with a health problem as complex as IC. It isn't life-threatening, but it can cause havoc on our mental state.

Sending you (((hugs))) and hoping that you find the right doctor or doctors who will be able to find what is causing your infection, the right medication to kick it the heck out of your body and then help you find the right medications to deal with the IC symptoms.

:):):)

jenjen05
05-31-2009, 09:44 AM
Rebekah,

I felt just like you for a long time. I still get very depressed and upset. If friends leave you over IC or your medical problems- they were never your friends to begin with. Good riddance.

If you ever need to talk don't hesitate to message me. If you have facebook or myspace or skype I'd be happy to give you my info. I know how it feels to feel alone in this battle, but you are not alone. I am a stranger but I love you, you are my IC sister! I can't tell you that you will get better, but it can get easier.

Many people told me to seek counseling, and I'm sure it helps many people. And it may help you with all you've been through. I personally cannot afford to go, but I hear many states and local groups offer free counseling. There might also be an IC support group in your area. I believe the ICA offers a list on their website you could check out. www.ichelp.com

I didn't see it in your post, but have you requested a culture AND sensitivity? A sensitivity will tell you exactly what antibiotic, if any, will kill your infection. It boggles my mind that your doctors may be just throwing antibiotics at you to see what kills it. I hope that is not the case. Many antibiotics make us IC'ers flare. And that stinks.

To answer your questions:
1.) The lingering infection would definitely cause inflammation. However, you have been on antibiotics. While the antibiotics may not be killing the infection, many also function as great anti-inflammatory drugs (such as doxycycline). Your inflammation may be separate as a result of IC. I would say the inflammation could be coming from either or both, and to what degree the antibiotics you're on may or may not be reducing the inflammation there is no way of knowing. If you aren't already, please try following the IC Diet which another member already posted the link for. There's also a "rescue menu" that can be found in the "Confident Choices" cookbook by Julie Beyer, available in the ICN shop. It helps a lot when you're in pain to follow it.

2.) My dear, it hurts me to say, most likely a host of things are causing your pain. All three might be. I don't even know if a doctor could really tell you. If you want to be more sure, but not absolutely, I would recommend stopping everything. Stop all vitamins, pills, natural remedies, and treatments. Go on the IC Diet. Do an elimination diet and gradually add in each suspect food, pill, and treatment one at a time till you find what is causing you pain. I would recommend going off everything for at least 2-3 weeks and then starting to add things back in. There's a guide on this site that will help you regarding an elimination diet. It's also in the "Confident Choices" book I mentioned previously. This should help you better identify what may or may not be causing you pain.

3.) I would say that it would be hard for anyone here to tell you if you have PFD. A lot of ICer's do. That's something you'd definitely have to discuss at length with your doctor.

4.) Your doctors know your in pain. Have you asked for something to help with it? Many of us here take everything from muscle relaxers to antihistamines to narcotics for relief. There's a ton of options. I'd suggest looking around here and writing down some ideas and taking them with you to your next appointment and asking your doctor if he thinks any of them might be right for you. That's what I did.

5.) Weight loss can be difficult with IC. Many of us have success with Nintendo's Wii Fit. I lost 35 pounds in 4 months just from Wii Fit and following the IC Diet. I wish you the best of luck on your journey!

6.) I felt the same way, and still do from time to time. You must take control of this disease! Do not let it own your life or keep you from doing anything you want to do. Some days you're just gonna have to tell yourself to get up and go no matter what. Because in your head, you know its what's best for you. Do not give up. Do not let IC win!

7.) I would say most likely your renal ultrasound would be normal. Even with a chronic infection in your bladder your renal ultrasound wouldn't necessarily be abnormal. (I'm the poster child for that.) Has your doctor done blood work? Request a CMP and a Liver Profile,if not. This will for sure tell you if your kidneys and liver are functioning normally. A renal ultrasound really doesn't tell you much. (Just got that info from my urologist and had those same tests done, that's how I know what to ask for :-)

8.) Good. A cath urine culture is great, but unless a sensitivity is also done it's pretty pointless. At least for you at this point because you've already tried several antibiotics. IMO.

9.) That could mean any number of things, and I don't have any experience with that personally other than IBS-C difficulties so I can't really offer my opinion, sorry.

10.) If I had to spend my money on anything to help me deal with IC, it would be on these three books from the ICN shop. First, "Confident Choices" by Julie Beyer. It will help you eat foods that won't hurt you and help you out in a flare. Second, "The Interstitial Cystitis Survival Guide" by Dr. Moldwin. He talks about EVERYTHING you'll ever need to know about IC. Third, "Please Understand - The Interstitial Cystitis Guide for Partners" it's a great book. I gave it to my boyfriend, who actually was already very understanding, but he broke down in tears after he read it. He couldn't believe what I was going through. It really put into words how we all feel and explains it better than we can to our partners.

11.) Like I said previously, I would stop all the pills and treatments for at least 2-3 weeks (other than what is prescribed by your MD, like the antidepressant) and go on the IC Diet and do an elimination diet and add each item in one at a time to see if the pills or treatments your taking might be making you worse instead of better. Does your MD know you're seeing the Naturopath? Please make sure you inform your MD about any and all treatments you are taking.

12.) The quicker you accept that IC isn't something you can beat, the better. I was in denial for a long time and I can tell you that it hurt me more than it helped. IC is just something you deal with. For whatever reason, it's in the hand of cards you were dealt. And now, unfortunately, you have to deal with it. Acceptance is often key with IC. There's no harm in hoping for a cure or being willing to try new treatments or enter clinical trials in hopes of a cure, but you should try and accept that there is no cure. This is a life long, chronically painful disease. And while many patients experience remission periods, which are great, they do not last forever. IC is not beatable, yet, but we all pray that one day it will be. Until then, keep being open to trying new things or treatments you are offered and remember that you are not alone. You are never alone. There are perhaps millions of us with this disease. That is proof.

I wish you the best of luck on your journey and I wish you many pain free days ahead. Remember, as with anything your going through, you are NEVER alone. There is nothing wrong with being depressed, angry, or anything else. You feel what you feel for a reason. And many of us feel the way you do at least from time to time.

Be good to yourself. You are loved. :pray: :)

NOTE: I AM NOT A MEDICAL AUTHORITY. EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING YOU DO SHOULD BE DISCUSSED FIRST WITH YOUR DOCTOR. I AM ONLY OFFERING MY HUMBLE AND SOMEWHAT EDUCATED OPINION BASED ON MY OWN EXPERIENCES.

gatorgal
05-31-2009, 06:55 PM
JenJen05, what a helpful post. When I'm in remission, I go start to believe that I'm IC free, until another flare hits me. Thanks for the great advice and reality check.
k

jenjen05
06-01-2009, 06:34 PM
Scrambles- I did the same thing for a long time. Every time I'd have a remission even for a few days I'd get it in my head that IC was over and I would be fine. Reality would come either the next day or within two weeks. Bah humbug. When I do have remission periods I always remind myself that I feel good now but I have to keep being good to my bladder, because while it's playing nicely now, it won't be soon. It is a little discouraging, but I got sick and tired of getting my hopes up. Doing that is just way too emotionally exhausting.