VickiB
05-05-2009, 06:39 PM
These were taken from various US newspapers. You just can't make stuff like this up!
"Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after age 25."
"Alton attorney accidentally sues himself."
One-armed man applauds the kindness of strangers.
"Correction:
Due to incorrect information received from the Clerk of Courts Office, Diane K ****, 38, was incorrectly listed as being fined for prostitution in Wednesday's paper. The charge should have been failure to stop at a railroad crossing. The Public Opinion apologizes for the error."
"A deputy responded to a report of a vehicle stopping at mail boxes. It was the mailman."
"Tiger Woods plays with his own balls, Nike says."
"County to pay $250,000.00 to advertise lack of funds
Lame County will spend $250,000.00 this year publicizing its tight financial picture, in hopes that voters in November will approve higher taxes for public services."
"Caskets found as workers demolish mausoleum"
"5:00p.m. - Police were called to Market Square for a report of a suspicious coin. Investigating officer reported it was a quarter."
"Theft: A woman in the 1900 block of 129th Lane NE reported that someone must have stolen her mail, because she did not receive birthday cards from some of her friends."
"Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop, Find Weapons."
"Fish need Water, Feds say"
"Question of the Day:
question: What constitutes a millionaire?
answer: A millionaire is someone who has $1 million, according to Jerry ****, branch manager and sr vice president of investments at ******."
"Crack found in Man's Buttocks"
"Army Vehicle Disappears"
An army vehicle worth $74,000 has gone missing after being painted with camouflage"
"Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after age 25."
"Alton attorney accidentally sues himself."
One-armed man applauds the kindness of strangers.
"Correction:
Due to incorrect information received from the Clerk of Courts Office, Diane K ****, 38, was incorrectly listed as being fined for prostitution in Wednesday's paper. The charge should have been failure to stop at a railroad crossing. The Public Opinion apologizes for the error."
"A deputy responded to a report of a vehicle stopping at mail boxes. It was the mailman."
"Tiger Woods plays with his own balls, Nike says."
"County to pay $250,000.00 to advertise lack of funds
Lame County will spend $250,000.00 this year publicizing its tight financial picture, in hopes that voters in November will approve higher taxes for public services."
"Caskets found as workers demolish mausoleum"
"5:00p.m. - Police were called to Market Square for a report of a suspicious coin. Investigating officer reported it was a quarter."
"Theft: A woman in the 1900 block of 129th Lane NE reported that someone must have stolen her mail, because she did not receive birthday cards from some of her friends."
"Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop, Find Weapons."
"Fish need Water, Feds say"
"Question of the Day:
question: What constitutes a millionaire?
answer: A millionaire is someone who has $1 million, according to Jerry ****, branch manager and sr vice president of investments at ******."
"Crack found in Man's Buttocks"
"Army Vehicle Disappears"
An army vehicle worth $74,000 has gone missing after being painted with camouflage"