constant playmate

[katie87]

My 2 year old DD is really smart for her age and she is always playing make believe games and She wants me to be her constant playmate... She also HATES when I have to go to the DR. and cries when I leave and I have 1-5 appointments a week, I am just feeling overwhelmed taking care of her all alone plus all the appointments, perscription refills and constant pain. I am feeling horrible guilt because after I read the 60th book of the day to her I feel like saying " i want to be ALONE!!!" I am just feeling crowded and like I am her constant entertainment and being in pain is making me irritable... i am beyond blessed to have her and she is the light of my life, my heart and my soul but I am getting a little overwhelmed since leaving her dad, I am the sole caretaker and she barely sleeps at his house anymore so it is all on me, plus I have school and it is a very difficult nursing program, i just wish I had some help, and the fact i am having trouble makes me feel like an awful mother, i should be loving every second, she is beautiful and perfect and so smart, how can I be feeling like this? it is just that she is CONSTANTLY at my legs pulling on me to be held and she wants 24/7 playmate.. the guilt is awful, but I just feel like I want time to myself and time to rest my bladder and tensed muscles. Does anyone else have a child who wants a 24/7 playmate? what can I do to help her have more fun alone? She is too young for preschool, they start at age 3 here . (headstart)

[tigger_gal]

Hi Katie,
I have 2 that need constant attention. 3/12 and 1 1/2 but both of my children are FADS. Jake HAS to have 24/7 supervision. Here is an example of my day, I will talk to him and he ignores me, I ask him something and he throws a massive tantrum, He kiscks, hits, punches his sister the dogs and any one else. He climbs up dresser and pulls them over on top of him. the screaming is earpiercing and the no sleep is killing me. Last night I put him to bed at 8, and 1 am I was in tears and and pain, because her refused to go to sleep. Check out my story in the 40 boards.

I just wanted to let you know you are not alone with how you feel, my husband hides in the basement because he can't stand the screaming. must be nice huh?
Hang in there, here are some ideas, get som childrens music and let her entertain you by dancing. A good song is Freeze, jake loves it, I honestly don't know where my 2 cds are, but if I find them I will tell you what is on there. Get books on tape so she can hear the story and follow with the tape. tickle me elmo, and elmo tmx are great entertainment. maybe get a lounge chair and take her out side.
good luck and feel better soon.

[ICNDonna]

One of the hardest thing to teach a child is how to entertain themselves. Sometimes TV cartoons work. When my kids were small I made sure they had things like blocks so they could build things. Two is pretty young for coloring books, but when she's just a little older, they are great.

Donna

[vm]

It's perfectly normal to feel that way. I work with a lot of two year olds in their homes and some are very good at entertaining themselves and some want constant one on one interaction.

How long ago did you split from her father? I wonder if she is feeling especially clingy since he left? Maybe wanting to keep an eye on you?

I know kids, though, who have not just experienced a split who just have a more difficult time playing alone even for short periods. You could try getting her started with a toy she loves, but does not require adult help. Have her play for a few minutes and then check in on her. Or even start by having her entertain herself while you're in the same room.

You can try to gradually extend that time she is playing alone so that she learns she can entertain herself - AND that you'll still be there when she is done.

It's not bad at all to want and need that break, though as moms we tend to guilt ourselves when we feel that way. A LOT of moms feel the way you are feeling.

You could try putting together a box of little toys that she can only play with during her special time (which really means your "alone time"). That way the time seems *special* to her (b/c they are toys she only has access to then) and not so much like time "away" from Mommy.

[KarenAnne]

I so agree with VM. Your little girl, and you, have just been through a big upheaval. She may be especially clingy because now she is afraid she is going to lose you too. When they are so young they can not verbally or emotionally express their fears, so they will react by being clingy. She may feel abandoned by her father & not understand. All she knows is that she has her mommy left.

Your daughter's pediatrician can guide you. Does your little girl have a lovey like a special blanket, doll, or stuffed toy for comfort? Is there another mother in your area or nursing class perhaps, that you could schedule play dates or babysitting with? Even if you get up an hour before her to just read, relax, take a hot bath.

Please hang in there & give yourself a break. You are a wonderful mom.