I know others know what I'm going through but I feel so alone.

[Cherie K]

It's never easy for me to open up to people. But I really just need to vent.
Tonight I had to cancel plans to a friends birthday party. I'm pretty sure they are mad with me about it, I just know how she is...

It's funny how people seem to try and understand until IC interferes with something they want me to do. I feel really bad I had to miss it but with bladder pain, flare from that time of the month, and I also sprained my tail bone muscles, I'm in so much pain and the party was a 40 min drive.. still I was getting ready trying to tell myself I can go and be fine just to break down and do the smart thing and make the dreaded call to let them know I was not coming.

But now trying to sleep I keep worrying about how my friends feel about me. I have already lost friends and I'm down to two and those two seem to be getting sick of my "problem".
I keep thinking maybe it's my fault, I don't rave and complain about IC. maybe they just don't get how bad it can be I hide a lot. I just don't see the point in complaining all that much but see how it could make people think I'm faking it, Like I conveniently have an "excuse" for not doing things.. which is so far from the truth. But that is just the feeling I get from people even family.

Like I would really rather spend the night home on the toilet... :rolleyes:

I just feel like I have such a different life from everyone around me and It makes me feel so low and out of place. I also have been thinking about what the point in even keeping these friends around really, I'm just a burden and no fun anymore. I just don't fit in.

oh well nothing I can do about it tonight anyway just really needed to get it off my chest.

[ICNDonna]

:grouphug: Hang in there. You will have better days.

Donna

[SharonA]

Sending you some (((hugs))). Don't worry about other people. You need to do what you need to do when you need to do it.

[katie87]

I;'ve been in your situation many many times, think of it like this.. if you went and were in pain it would have been much worse, I know my friends didn't like it when I came along despite pain and complained or sat there sadly the whole time, at least at home you can rest, go to the bathroom as many times as you want and relax! i've had friends get annoyed at me for canceling too, but it is YOU who will be in more pain if you go, so its YOU you need to think about when making the choice. you did the right thing! :)

[Tara_09]

I have been in the same position alot here lately. Im in college and of course everyone wants to go out at the end of the semester. In all honesty you did the right thing. If they are mad at you for doing what you needed too then they are the ones who have the problem. I hate the feeling of people being mad at me and I stress over decision on when to go out but Ive realized you have to do what makes you feel better. Its your life. Friends come and go and good friends stay around when your sick. I had a close friend who I realized seemed to always dissapear or wouldnt answer the phone during the times I had surgery and when I got checked for lupus. Just try to remember its the quality of friends you have not the quantity. It sucks but what doesnt kill you makes you stronger. My new doctor told me that stress is the bodys worst enemy and to stay away from it even if that includes not watching the news haha :). If your in a flare just do what you need to do to get through it. Dont worry things will turn around and good days are soon to come.
I hope you feel better soon!