dilemma, should I ttc now, or wait?

[chix]

Hi everyone,

I'm looking for some advice about having a family.

About two years ago, my IC was constant but stable and I felt that it was under control. Then my partner and I got pregnant, my symptoms didn't alter much, but I miscarried at 8 weeks so I don't know how it would have panned out over the whole pregnancy.

Anyway, after that mc my health has been getting worse, about a year later I started getting fibro pains which have never gone away, and then a course of antibiotics for a minor v infection sent my bladder into a spin that it has never recovered from. I had to cut down to part-time work, and I only get a few days respite from very bad pain every month (usually on my period).

It was so frustrating because we wanted to try and get pg again almost straight away, but these health problems have made us wait and wait in the hope that I can stabilise a bit before we try.

I've had a cysto (2 months ago) which seemed to make my bladder more volatile if anything, and I'm still waiting for an appointment with a pelvic pain specialist (apparently the list is 'several months long').

I am so tired of waiting, and so scared that my health just won't improve. I've tried elavil and lyrica and vesicare, all made me feel worse. No painkillers seem to do anything for me.

Part of me wants to wait for this appointment and see if the new consultant can find a way to stabilise me, and then ttc.

But part of me is worried that I'll wait for months, react badly to yet more treatments, and then have to ttc a year from now in an even worse state than I am now?

We sort of had a go this month.. and I was really excited, but the pain was so bad during the last 2 weeks of my cycle I was just desperate for my period to come and give me some respite. But then I cried when it did come because I want to be pregnant too. I felt so silly!

My partner is quite gung ho, he reckons I might as well go for it now since I've had to stop working anyway.. but I'm not sure he's figured out how bad the pg might be...

aggh! so much stress, why is life so complicated for us:help:

[tigger_gal]

wow hun I am so sorry, I really wish I had some great advice for you. TTC has to be your decision, I do hope some one with more experience being pregnant with IC can help you. good luck.

[katie87]

You are in a situation like mine, only I am not TTC. but I do have nonstop pain affecting my life. I think you should try and get yourself a little more comfortable then TTC, because I remember having excruciating pelvic/bladder/urethral symptoms during pregnancy, I was also peeing every hour or more the last 3 months at night, the pressure on my bladder was bad. it really hurt my bladder ( the pregnancy) had constant pelvic pain. If you do decide to TTC regardless, i recommend a few things, physical therapy and lidocaine (urojets). those should help with the pain from frequent sex. I think if you are NEVER going to get better, why wait to TTC, bbut if you CAN improve , try a few new things before TTC and see if it helps.

[jvr]

Hello,

I understand this must be a hard decision for you. My IC did get worse the first trimester of pregnancy, (I also was abusing some very bad no no IC foods so I'm sure that contributed to how bad I felt...)but then I had a wonderful remission of symptoms at about the 10 week mark on. I breastfeed and for me that continued the abatement of symptoms. I ordered a small booklet on pregnancy from the ICA when I was considering becoming pregnant. I could take a look for it if you'd like. Also, I think that Dr. Parsons in his lecture here on the ICN made a mention of how his pregnant patients do. I could be wrong, but I know I've seen mention of this sort of information in Dr. Moldwins book, the ICA, and here on the ICN. My kids are my most precious jewels and I would go through the tough period again in a heartbeat!

Jill

[zbella]

chix,

You seem to really want to start a family...I understand how that feels. I certainly would never tell you to or not to start TTC, but I will share with you part of what I went through.

I suffered a miscarriage at 9 weeks in 2006. I was so excited about having a baby, so I was crushed when I mc. My husband and I decided to wait until my health improved to try again, but that never really happened. My pain would get a little better, and then a few weeks later I would be right back where I started. Finally, I asked my uro if I would ever be able feeling well enough to TTC again. She said she couldn't answer that, but the real question was that if my IC didn't ever go away, would I really give up on my dreams of starting a family? With the obvious answer being "NO," I realized...what were we really waiting for? For me to get all better? You can't predict the future. You will only be pregnant for 9 months, and you could be one of the lucky ones who goes into remission. We decided to start ttc again, and I got pregnant the first month (what a relief!). To top it off, I'm pregnant with twins...now at 22 weeks. My IC went into remission before I even found out I was pregnant, probably because of the higher hormone levels due to the twins. The only pain I have now is if I let my bladder get too full or drink a soda or one of the girls kicks my bladder. Also, the growing weight of the babies is putting more pressure on my bladder so that causes a little pain when I'm up moving around too much.

I am so glad I decided to go ahead and try to get pregnant! I just wanted to share my story and try to give you a little hope that things can go the way you want. My prayers are with you...good luck with your journey!


Stephanie

[valkay18]

chix,

You seem to really want to start a family...I understand how that feels. I certainly would never tell you to or not to start TTC, but I will share with you part of what I went through.

I suffered a miscarriage at 9 weeks in 2006. I was so excited about having a baby, so I was crushed when I mc. My husband and I decided to wait until my health improved to try again, but that never really happened. My pain would get a little better, and then a few weeks later I would be right back where I started. Finally, I asked my uro if I would ever be able feeling well enough to TTC again. She said she couldn't answer that, but the real question was that if my IC didn't ever go away, would I really give up on my dreams of starting a family? With the obvious answer being "NO," I realized...what were we really waiting for? For me to get all better? You can't predict the future. You will only be pregnant for 9 months, and you could be one of the lucky ones who goes into remission. We decided to start ttc again, and I got pregnant the first month (what a relief!). To top it off, I'm pregnant with twins...now at 22 weeks. My IC went into remission before I even found out I was pregnant, probably because of the higher hormone levels due to the twins. The only pain I have now is if I let my bladder get too full or drink a soda or one of the girls kicks my bladder. Also, the growing weight of the babies is putting more pressure on my bladder so that causes a little pain when I'm up moving around too much.

I am so glad I decided to go ahead and try to get pregnant! I just wanted to share my story and try to give you a little hope that things can go the way you want. My prayers are with you...good luck with your journey!


Stephanie

I'm glad you shared this positive story! I got PG with my son in late 2005, and my IC did fine until the last trimester. I carried really, really low, which I am sure played into it. I was peeing every 30 minutes that last month, and had a lot of burning pain. At that time though, I didn't even know I had IC. So, I was eating really bad stuff like tomato sauce, pizza, coffee, etc... So, maybe if I had known and changed my eating habits, things would have been better.

Good luck with TTC! My hubby and I are going to start TTC very soon too. We were conflicted about it for quite some time because of the IC, but I really want to have a second child. So, I'm going for it! :smile tee

[Sunflower2]

I was just thinking about this in my head. Just like other said already, we cannot predict future. Nobody knows about tomorrow. Only God knows that.

I really want to be a parent. Compared to my fist diagnosis of my IC/PFD in 2005, I feel much better and managed to control my pain in minimum.
Last year was the really hardest for me because all my other friends got pregnant left and right but me. So I was very miserable myself and cried a lot.
To me, having this IC/PFD, having sex with my husband for a couple of time a month doesn't give me a good chance to get pregnant. I wish just one will do all. But that's not the case for me. Anyway, my hubby and I have been talking a lot about this topic a lot lately because we have been married for over 6 years and not one baby yet. Of course, we have outside pressure from friends and relatives. But that's not the only reason we have been talking about this.
I don't want to miss the chance to be a parent just because the timing isn't perfect for us. I questioned about this " Timing " thing a lot for myself and of course, with my hubby, too. When will be the perfect timing to be a parent??? I think, my answer is NEVER. I heard so many people's story about Planned or Accidental pregnancy stories. No matter how much you prepared, there is no such thing called " Perfect Timing " for anything. Because that's how God's works. Our timing and God's timing are different. Sometimes, it may be... that's a rare thing. I think God gives us opportunities to grow better by throwing many obstacles. To some, that may be the baby. To other, it may be the money or whatever the thing is, God has a plan for each and every one of us. I do want to take up on a challenge if that's what he wants me to. By the way, how do I know what day is good to have sex to get pregnant??? my period is kind of strange, so I cannot really know. Does anyone know???



Aya

[chix]

Lots to think about.. I'm very grateful for the positive stories!

I had my first appointment at a really excellent pain clinic today (I've been waiting ages to get in) and I raised the issue of pregnancy with the consultant and his nurse. I told them that my plan was to try and get my bladder a bit more under control before I TTC, but, to my surprise, they both said that I might be better of TTC now.

The nurse said that I was stronger than I thought.. she said, I have seen lots of women in your position, they got pregnant and they coped. And the consultant said that I was at the start of a long road of trying lots of different therapies, and that maybe it would be better to start my family first and start the recovery journey afterwards.

I'd never thought of it that way, but it does kind of make sense. I'm tempted to go for it soon :), although today my bladder is worse than it's been for months, of course :rolleyes:

[Sal123]

I worried about TTC too with IC and finally said to myself I am not going to let my IC determine whether or not I have children. Also, I followed my dear mother's advice. Don't worry about what ifs because what ifs may never happen.

I am now in my 2nd pregnancy and doing great. I never thought I would live w/o my IC drugs but I went off them 3 months before trying to conceive with the first one and low and behold my IC drugs were most of the IC flare culprits. I was on Elmiron, Hydroxine (I think the culprit), another one that helped with IC and blood pressure and a supplement that acted like Elmiron. I felt so much better when I got off of them. Then when I got pregnant my IC symptoms further went away and stayed away until I was about 6 months post birth. They had just started to come back when I got pregnant the second time. Again my symptoms have decreased. I have been able to eat fruits, orange juice Yum! etc.

I know everyone is different but I wanted to share my story because it had a happy ending after all those months worrying about it. I even had someone get mad at me at a local support meeting for getting pregnant. She came up to me and said I hope you know what you are doing because when the pain sets in you will be in trouble. Well it never did! Now keep in mind when you are pregnant you will be peeing more but that is a symptom of pregnancy too :smile tee