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VickiB
02-05-2009, 06:01 PM
This is for those mothers of boys, sisters of boys, and boys that have grown older. And anyone else who needs a laugh..


1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2! .) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36- year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject 'PB & J' sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin , TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

an0bgobeloba
02-06-2009, 02:29 AM
ROFL:biglaugh: thanks for sharing this :)

mary124
02-06-2009, 04:07 AM
#15 brings back memories!! When my eldest was 2 maybe 3 he decided to feed the VCR . No, it wasn't a PB&J it was waffles with syrup. Answer when I asked about that was because he wanted to share his breakfast. This was back in the days that VCR's were expensive.....

SharonA
02-06-2009, 05:27 AM
Awww...The joys of being the mother of a boy. :):):)

VickiB
02-06-2009, 02:00 PM
#7 always reminds me of a story my Mom told me.

She kept hearing the toilet flush and finally decided she'd best go investigate.....

Mom handled the money in the house. Dad would cash his check and set the money on the dresser in their room, then Mom would take it from there. Well, this was payday, Dad had left the money on the dresser, and my brother picked it up.

By the time Mom got there he was on his last bill. FLUSH!!!

Vicki

VickiB
02-06-2009, 02:02 PM
That's funny Mary! I imagine waffles fit into a VCR amazingly well! Especially with a little syrup to help them slide!

:lmao::lmao::lmao:

Briza
02-06-2009, 04:25 PM
:lmao: Vicki, sounds like you have much experience with boys!!!

Well, no kids of my own but I could make a list just as long or longer of what boys will, can, and have done in the classroom from my yrs teaching middle and high school.

I will just say this....live animals (fish, other aquatic vertebrates and invertebrates) in an aquarium will not survive long when formaldehyde (from jar containing preserved dead fish or other vertebrate or invertebrate specimens) is poured into aquarium of live fish and other animals.

In my defense lol it was my first year teaching,
I had to float (meaning I did not have my own classroom and had to use other teachers' classrooms during their conference periods),
and I had horrid fever, etc., that I picked up from not being tolerant that first year of teaching to all the germ epidemics that spread like wild fire thru schools and infect new teachers more often than the teachers who have more experience....w/ some years of exp behind me my body did finally reach the point where exposure to such germs did not always land me in bed for a week.

All of the above led to this situation and the too early demise of said fish and other animals in the aquarium that belonged to one of the teachers whose classroom I had to use while "floating." I had just caught my first major teaching germ and was in bed for a week with high fever, etc., and subsitute teacher WITH experience apparently had much less control over my students than even I did that first year, if possible :help::lmao: I often wonder why I did not have early demise as those fish did that first year for a variety of reasons!!!!!!!:lmao:

Floating teacher generally not a very happy teacher (we like having a classroom to call our own!!),
Floating first year teacher a VERY unhappy and very unfortunate teacher,
And teachers whose classrooms are used by floating (esp first yr) teachers usually more unhappy about the situation than the aforementioned.
Poor me, poor other teachers and their classrooms, poor substitute teachers, poor poor fish.
But again, poor me lol and poor fish...I am surprised I didn't get poisoned along with those fish my first year teaching!!!!! :biglaugh:
Yeah, I got to the bottom of it...there is always at least one snitch in every class, and yep, it was a couple of BOYS who caused the early demise of those poor fish and made teacher whose classroom I was using VERY angry with me:help::help: Someone was definitely watching over me:angel:that first year because survived that first crazy year AND I continued to teach and get my own classroom and such for another 9 yrs!!!! :bonk:

VickiB
02-06-2009, 06:57 PM
I would never make it as a teacher! That takes a certain mental strength that I know I don't have.

Those poor fish! -And you too!

Funny, all I can think of right now is..... where's Elvis?! :biglaugh:

SharonA
02-07-2009, 05:18 AM
:elvis::elvis::elvis::elvis::elvis::elvis::elvis::elvis:

That should be enough to relieve the Elvis withdrawal for awhile. :lmao::lmao:

VickiB
02-07-2009, 07:29 AM
Ahhh, thank you Sharon, I needed that! :lmao:

Boy, I have an 'elvis' coming up for ya'll in April! ...."Stay tuned"