Can't stop crying

[yorkyloverx3]

Well girls
I am an emotional wreck. I have been through 8 instillations with elmiron. I did not see any great improvement. I had a very painful and tearful weekend. I cried everytime someone looked at me wrong. I did not work on Friday due to the pain and then had to call in Monday because it hurt so bad to even try to stand.:frown:
I called the ur office and they worked me in Monday afternoon. When the doc came in, he said my urnine looked horrible, just full of red blood and white cells. ( I really think all of the catherizing gave me an infection) but anyway as we talked about the instillations I just started crying and could not stop. He said I think you are an emotional wreck......well dah??? After we talked he decided to put me on 1mg of xanax 3 times a day. But girls, you know how you get tired of telling people you are in pain, and you think NO ONE believes you anyway. I had worked the last 2 weeks in horrible pain, especially trying to do the treatments and still work. (dummy on my part) soooooo The doc gave me an antibiotic shot and also a shot for pain before I could leave. He wants to schedule the cysto/hydro for next Tuesday providing the infection has cleared up.
It has been since 12/2000 since my last one and he thinks I am ...... well past due for an overhaul!!!! I got some relief a couple of years ago with my hysterectomy but this flare started this summer and has gradually got worse. :
IC is terrible and I get so down sometimes I just don't know what to do and where to go.... Thank God for these boards. I know I can always vent to you, thanks for listening.
love Denise

[ICNDonna]

I'm so glad your doctor is treating your depression. I hope you will feel better very soon.

Warm healing thoughts,
Donna

[HillaryD]

Denise:
I am so sorry that you are going through all of this, I know it isn't easy. Hopefully the Xanax will help you get some relief! I am sending many, many hugs your way.
Love,
Hillary
:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[dyno]

Sorry you are having a rough day. Sending hugs your way. :grouphug: :kissing:

[vm]

Lots of hugs coming your way, yorky!!!! {{HUGS}} I know those kind of emotional spaces. They can seem so dark and overwhelming. I hope you do find some healing and relief soon and please know that we are always here for you. :kissing:

[SharonA]

Awww, Denise...so sorry you are feeling so bad. Come on over here and let me give you a big, soft hug while you cry on my shoulder. Sometimes we just have to have a good cry. It's good medicine...:kissing:

[Iris]

Hi Denise, I feel for you, I know we all get those days when we need a shoulder to cry on, and just let go of everything. You know we are all here to help you any time needed. I am glad that you are being given something to help you out with your depression. Please keep us posted as to how you are doing, soft hugs and always here for you, Iris.:hi: :kissing: :grouphug:

[Katrina]

Sending loving thoughts and care. I am sorry you are in so much pain and struggling to get relief. I hope the struggle ends soon and pain free days are in your very near future.

Take Care,

[kelly McC]

Hope your feeling better soon ! Sending a prayer and a :grouphug:
Kelly

[curlycue]

I am sorry that you are going through this. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I know its got to get better. Please dont give up.
Ruth: :grouphug:

[yorkyloverx3]

:grouphug: Thanks you guys I just don't know what I would do without all of you.
Obviously running:dogrun: away from your problems doesn't work. The xanax had calmed me down today and with all the support I am getting from you :grouphug: I KNOW I will get better. Actually my pain is better today, I guess those antibiotics have started working. so I thank God for leading me to the ICN boards.
I love the new smilies, they are to cute.
love Denise

[Donna L]

Denise, Glad you seem to be better. With IC it's hard to tell a flare from an infection. It's good that your doctor wants to treat your depression. My uro thinks that antidepressants are helpful with IC and is willing to consider it part of the overall treatment. Hope you say well........Donna L

[Betsie]

Pain being my number one symptom really does take over my emotions. Once i found antidepressants, I was able to tolerate the pain swings as well as the mood ones. After some ime i was able to allow myself space when flaring.

I allow myself to be as icky as i need to be and I am generally just quiet with my family and friends, but struggling with myself.

I think my treatment plan is finally working, i stay ahead of the pain and I wish I had discovered antidepressants earlier.

So, remember that it will pass and you will feel normal again..for now just let the tears roll and then the improvement will feel even better.

Hugs!

[Dixiefireball]

sending you hugs and prayers i hope you feel better soon i'm glad your doctor is helping you with your depression i'm so sorry you got a nasty uti to top things off.
just remember we are here for you and we do care.
hugs and prayers sent to you
Rhonda

[MakinIT]

hey there:

Been there with ya! It's ok to be angry and sad and all mixed up. Hell, you hurt all the time. It takes a toll. Just keep communication open with your doc, and writing here. I think we can sure relate!:help: ( I too, love the new smilees.)

Take care of yourself, give yourself permission to rest and relax . If you are worried about your boss, you may try to print out some info fromthe IC website. just so he/she knows why you are suffering so much.

Tracey

[MakinIT]

Hi Yorki

How are you doing now? I haven't seen anything from you in a couple days (although I usually don't have time to browse the boards) so just wanted to check in....:bouncy: I hope all is well...have you talked with this doc?

Tracey

[Dixiefireball]

yes the cath could have gave you that awful infection that is one thing my doctor was afraid of before i stated my dmso at home of heparin and marcaine I love the marcaine its like a nerve block and it really helps my bladder.
also klonopins (sp?) helps relax my bladder so since he gave you something for for your nerves maybe try taking it with your pain medicine ask you doctor frist but my doctor told me to do this to help my pain medicine stay in my systom longer which has worked great for me.
hang in there okay we are here for you and we really care.:love: sending you hugs and prayers IC sister.:kiss:
if you need me please pm me or email me i will be here for you even if you want to vent. its okay. to let it all go. i really hope this helps gives you some relief what the doctor done.:pray:
Rhonda

[yorkyloverx3]

Thanks for asking
the antibiotic did the trick or at least I am not in as much pain and today finally the FOG lifted. The depression FINALLY got much better, my coworkers had been praying for me and then this afternoon it was like a load was lifted off my shoulders. My friends said I finally smiled for the first time in weeks. BUT the story doesn't end ................. I called the ur to find out about the culture and to see when they were going to set up the blood work, since I go in Tues am for the cysto. Well the ur office LOST my urine sample, yep so I have to go back tomorrow to PEE in that darn cup again. Just hoping it will have enough time to culture so I can still get the cysto over with. Just my luck :rolleyes: But at least the news came today after I was in a better mood, just don't think I could have handled it yesterday.
Thanks to everyone who responded
Denise

[curlycue]

I am soo glad that you are feeling better. I hope that everything goes well at the Dr app and the cysto. I hope that he tells you that your bladder is not that bad and that you will be able to feel 95% better in no time. I will continue to pray for you.:pray:

I know that sometimes we get so anxsious (I dont know if I spelled that ok) and we want instant relife. IC is not a instant relife illness and that is the bad thing about this illness.

It has been 10 months for me to finally find out what helps me. I thank GOD that I finally found the right meds.

Love Always,
Ruth

[blue]

I hope you feel better soon!

[Julie Smith]

Dear Denise,

So glad you were able to get into dr. right away and that he listened to you, gave you shots, xanax. We can't be strong all the time, it's ok to cry, be sad and angry. I can relate with you, a lot. So please take good care of yourself, you come first.

:butterfly Warm hugs, Julie