Photoboy61
11-15-2008, 10:17 AM
Hi Everyone,
Well I can say so much has happened to me this year. I want to share it with you all so that it may inspire you in some way. This is an excerpt from my journal...
...Six long years I have battled with my IC. Well in the fall of 2007, I was working part-time and I was really on the edge and I didn't think I wanted to go on anymore. My illness was taking a toll on me. My pain was so great. I had a bad breakdown and I was in bed for three weeks. No one knew. Not a single soul. I didn't move or do anything. I called in to work and said I wouldn't be in for a while. When the phone rang I would not pick it up. I did not want to talk to anyone. I was shutting myself out from the world. There I lay day after day, sinking deeper and deeper. One day I was laying there and the phone rang. It kept ringing and I was trying to convince myself to not pick it up. Then I heard a voice within me say, " Pick up the phone." I picked up the phone and it was her. She was a girl I met in 2002 on the IC Canadian Forums when I was diagnosed with my IC. She has IC as well and we would talk from time to time and we would give each other support. I hadn't heard from her for some time until that day. She sensed something was wrong. We talked for many hours that night. She realized I was in bad shape. So she didn't speak any longer that night. She said to me “I just want you to lay down, relax, and listen. She began to sing. Her voice was so soft, gentle like angels from heaven. She sang several songs to me that night. They were all spiritual songs about faith, God, and Jesus. My heart just felt something but I could not let out my emotions. I guess my heart had hardened; my pain had made my body so numb that I had no feelings within me. I will never forget that night because I felt it was a turning point, perhaps a hint of light behind all my dark clouds. A beginning to my healing I hoped.
She continued to call me and check up on me. Every time she would call she would sing to me. She also suggested to me that I start to attend church and that I also start to read the bible. I was hesitant to do any of this. I figure once again I could do it all on my own. Pride perhaps was getting the best of me. Well I was wrong. I fell once again into darkness. Why couldn't I see that perhaps God was using her to speak to me? She never gave up on me and continued to talk to me about God and Jesus for the next few months.
It was near Christmas 2007 and I had not seen my family for many years. We grew apart through my battle with my illness. It was a Sunday in November, snowing gently, like a peaceful and spiritual dance in the sky and I decided to go to the church down the street from where I live. I figured what do I have to lose. I was getting tired of her hounding me every time I talked to her. So I walked into God's place and I sat there. I just felt so empty as I have always felt. I did not know what do, think or say. It was so long since I had talked to him. What would I say? I was totally lost in my own confusion. Perhaps I should just get up and leave. I sat there, cold and thoughtless. Then mass began and the choir started to sing. Well from that point I felt a strange feeling in my heart. My eyes filled with tears, perhaps tears of joy, I didn't know why. The Holy Spirit and the angels of the Lord had encircled me and then made their home in me. It had been a while since I had felt the way I did. Just so joyous and full of inner peace. I left the mass feeling different that day. I continued to return to the God's house every Sunday. I went out and bought a bible and began to read the greatest love story ever told. The story of God, his son Jesus, his life, his sacrifice and love for all of us in this world. I continued to read his word and they began to heal me and renew my life. I began to find strength and the answers to my struggles in life in his word. Every word offers an answer. They guide me now, each and every day in my life. I felt God's grace within me. I realized the grip my illness had on my life. My relationship with God and Jesus began to grow as days passed. I would pray to them both and they would listen and they would answer me. Finally God answered me by restoring the relationship with my family on Christmas Day, 2007. It was my most memorable Christmas ever.
It was a man and his book 3:16 that gave me more insight into the life of Jesus. John 3:16 details the love of the father by giving us his one and only son so that mankind would not perish and have eternal life. Only through my relationship with Jesus would I know the father. So I asked Jesus to take me into his hands so that I may know the father. So Jesus and I began our walk in life together...
It was near the end of May 2008 and I was deeply praying one night. While I was deep in prayer I felt a presence within the room. Suddenly I felt that someone had placed two hands on my bladder and pelvic area, where so much pain lived for all these years. I felt a burst of energy, heat, and release. I lost my breath somewhat and I felt somewhat strange. I got up from my praying and realized something very unusual. I did not feel any discomfort in the areas in which I had pain for so many years. My symptoms were not present any longer. Well I just figured for the next few days that I was just having a good stretch without pain or discomfort. Well I continued to feel good for the next 3 weeks and now I'm 6 months with no pain or any symptoms. I have no explanation for this sudden release of all my physical ailments. Some say I have had a miracle from above. I truly believe that this is what has happened. Not even my doctors can explain.
Each and every day I continue to build my relationship with Jesus and his Holy Father... I remained focused and resilient.
Yes I guess I could say that she was an angel. She did come around at the right time. Here's one thing that you may find interesting. I have known her since 2002 when we came upon each other through the IC Forums. We would go long period of times without speaking at times and then out of the blue we would connect again. Well here is the surprising thing; to this day her and I have never met in person. My amazement is what person would stick around that long and try to help another person when you don't even know the person. I owe her allot. Her strong faith inspired me. I believe God used her to communicate to me. She became my lifeline, God's hands reaching out to me.
A miracle it must be, because I can't really say that the medical community healed me. I was on no medication after 2003 to 2008. It was not a family member or friends for they were not in my life any longer. You have to remember that 5 years of my life was lived in isolation from everyone, except for her who from time to time would show up again. An angel perhaps sent by God. A lifeline for me. A message sent by him saying "you're not alone in this" "I send her, to help you" The day came when I finally surrendered to God saying, "Yes I do need you" "I can't do it alone".
My fears were gone, my pain was gone, and my life was renewed. I found my rest and peace in Jesus. In Matthew 11: 28-30, Jesus says "Come to me, all who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
For years I lived with illness and in darkness. If only years ago I would have known what Jesus said " I have come into the world as light, so that whoever believes in me may not remain in darkness" John 12:46
In October of this year, I was at my clinic in which they did a study on resiliency back in May of this year, in conjunction with one of our university's nursing program. I was one of twelve people who they interviewed. The findings showed that medical treatment is only one method of treating a condition, but faith is even more important during any life difficulty. The other 11 people in the study also found much comfort through faith. Combining the two if needed works really well. Not all the people were dealing with an illness as I was, there were all sorts of life trials that the individuals were dealing with, but all had the same effects from having faith. The other thing next to faith that was found in the study is that most of us used our hobbies as a way to heal. A book is going to be in the works to tell each of our stories. The professor at the university will head this book project. As well there will be programs initiated at the clinic in regards to resiliency. The program director at the clinic and others were in tears many times during the night as we told our story. In closing we were given a wonderful poem that related to our story of resiliency.
In the meantime my journey in life continues... God has called me to my purpose in life. To inspire others through my story and to be a lifeline to someone else. For "I can do all things through Christ who strengthen me" Phil 4:13. In him I live, move and have my being. He has opened so many doors and opportunities for me to help others and so I have accepted his call. In my efforts to help others, I have volunteered to teach a photography program for Autistic adults. Photography is a passion and talent that I am blessed with and that I used to express my feelings during my illness. There are many other areas which I have been volunteering my time. I find it such a blessing in serving.
I know that everyone’s IC is different and therefore each has his or her own struggles with it. As I learned through my struggle, behind all those clouds the sun still does shine brightly. We can never lose hope. We must always live having faith. For faith is the substance for all things hoped for. I hope my story may help you to never lose faith. Even if you may never be free of your suffering, do not let it keep you in darkness. See his light and he will comfort you and give you peace in your mind and heart. For he does hear you in your prayers. Angels do exist, for I was sent one.
God bless to all.
Photoboy61
Well I can say so much has happened to me this year. I want to share it with you all so that it may inspire you in some way. This is an excerpt from my journal...
...Six long years I have battled with my IC. Well in the fall of 2007, I was working part-time and I was really on the edge and I didn't think I wanted to go on anymore. My illness was taking a toll on me. My pain was so great. I had a bad breakdown and I was in bed for three weeks. No one knew. Not a single soul. I didn't move or do anything. I called in to work and said I wouldn't be in for a while. When the phone rang I would not pick it up. I did not want to talk to anyone. I was shutting myself out from the world. There I lay day after day, sinking deeper and deeper. One day I was laying there and the phone rang. It kept ringing and I was trying to convince myself to not pick it up. Then I heard a voice within me say, " Pick up the phone." I picked up the phone and it was her. She was a girl I met in 2002 on the IC Canadian Forums when I was diagnosed with my IC. She has IC as well and we would talk from time to time and we would give each other support. I hadn't heard from her for some time until that day. She sensed something was wrong. We talked for many hours that night. She realized I was in bad shape. So she didn't speak any longer that night. She said to me “I just want you to lay down, relax, and listen. She began to sing. Her voice was so soft, gentle like angels from heaven. She sang several songs to me that night. They were all spiritual songs about faith, God, and Jesus. My heart just felt something but I could not let out my emotions. I guess my heart had hardened; my pain had made my body so numb that I had no feelings within me. I will never forget that night because I felt it was a turning point, perhaps a hint of light behind all my dark clouds. A beginning to my healing I hoped.
She continued to call me and check up on me. Every time she would call she would sing to me. She also suggested to me that I start to attend church and that I also start to read the bible. I was hesitant to do any of this. I figure once again I could do it all on my own. Pride perhaps was getting the best of me. Well I was wrong. I fell once again into darkness. Why couldn't I see that perhaps God was using her to speak to me? She never gave up on me and continued to talk to me about God and Jesus for the next few months.
It was near Christmas 2007 and I had not seen my family for many years. We grew apart through my battle with my illness. It was a Sunday in November, snowing gently, like a peaceful and spiritual dance in the sky and I decided to go to the church down the street from where I live. I figured what do I have to lose. I was getting tired of her hounding me every time I talked to her. So I walked into God's place and I sat there. I just felt so empty as I have always felt. I did not know what do, think or say. It was so long since I had talked to him. What would I say? I was totally lost in my own confusion. Perhaps I should just get up and leave. I sat there, cold and thoughtless. Then mass began and the choir started to sing. Well from that point I felt a strange feeling in my heart. My eyes filled with tears, perhaps tears of joy, I didn't know why. The Holy Spirit and the angels of the Lord had encircled me and then made their home in me. It had been a while since I had felt the way I did. Just so joyous and full of inner peace. I left the mass feeling different that day. I continued to return to the God's house every Sunday. I went out and bought a bible and began to read the greatest love story ever told. The story of God, his son Jesus, his life, his sacrifice and love for all of us in this world. I continued to read his word and they began to heal me and renew my life. I began to find strength and the answers to my struggles in life in his word. Every word offers an answer. They guide me now, each and every day in my life. I felt God's grace within me. I realized the grip my illness had on my life. My relationship with God and Jesus began to grow as days passed. I would pray to them both and they would listen and they would answer me. Finally God answered me by restoring the relationship with my family on Christmas Day, 2007. It was my most memorable Christmas ever.
It was a man and his book 3:16 that gave me more insight into the life of Jesus. John 3:16 details the love of the father by giving us his one and only son so that mankind would not perish and have eternal life. Only through my relationship with Jesus would I know the father. So I asked Jesus to take me into his hands so that I may know the father. So Jesus and I began our walk in life together...
It was near the end of May 2008 and I was deeply praying one night. While I was deep in prayer I felt a presence within the room. Suddenly I felt that someone had placed two hands on my bladder and pelvic area, where so much pain lived for all these years. I felt a burst of energy, heat, and release. I lost my breath somewhat and I felt somewhat strange. I got up from my praying and realized something very unusual. I did not feel any discomfort in the areas in which I had pain for so many years. My symptoms were not present any longer. Well I just figured for the next few days that I was just having a good stretch without pain or discomfort. Well I continued to feel good for the next 3 weeks and now I'm 6 months with no pain or any symptoms. I have no explanation for this sudden release of all my physical ailments. Some say I have had a miracle from above. I truly believe that this is what has happened. Not even my doctors can explain.
Each and every day I continue to build my relationship with Jesus and his Holy Father... I remained focused and resilient.
Yes I guess I could say that she was an angel. She did come around at the right time. Here's one thing that you may find interesting. I have known her since 2002 when we came upon each other through the IC Forums. We would go long period of times without speaking at times and then out of the blue we would connect again. Well here is the surprising thing; to this day her and I have never met in person. My amazement is what person would stick around that long and try to help another person when you don't even know the person. I owe her allot. Her strong faith inspired me. I believe God used her to communicate to me. She became my lifeline, God's hands reaching out to me.
A miracle it must be, because I can't really say that the medical community healed me. I was on no medication after 2003 to 2008. It was not a family member or friends for they were not in my life any longer. You have to remember that 5 years of my life was lived in isolation from everyone, except for her who from time to time would show up again. An angel perhaps sent by God. A lifeline for me. A message sent by him saying "you're not alone in this" "I send her, to help you" The day came when I finally surrendered to God saying, "Yes I do need you" "I can't do it alone".
My fears were gone, my pain was gone, and my life was renewed. I found my rest and peace in Jesus. In Matthew 11: 28-30, Jesus says "Come to me, all who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
For years I lived with illness and in darkness. If only years ago I would have known what Jesus said " I have come into the world as light, so that whoever believes in me may not remain in darkness" John 12:46
In October of this year, I was at my clinic in which they did a study on resiliency back in May of this year, in conjunction with one of our university's nursing program. I was one of twelve people who they interviewed. The findings showed that medical treatment is only one method of treating a condition, but faith is even more important during any life difficulty. The other 11 people in the study also found much comfort through faith. Combining the two if needed works really well. Not all the people were dealing with an illness as I was, there were all sorts of life trials that the individuals were dealing with, but all had the same effects from having faith. The other thing next to faith that was found in the study is that most of us used our hobbies as a way to heal. A book is going to be in the works to tell each of our stories. The professor at the university will head this book project. As well there will be programs initiated at the clinic in regards to resiliency. The program director at the clinic and others were in tears many times during the night as we told our story. In closing we were given a wonderful poem that related to our story of resiliency.
In the meantime my journey in life continues... God has called me to my purpose in life. To inspire others through my story and to be a lifeline to someone else. For "I can do all things through Christ who strengthen me" Phil 4:13. In him I live, move and have my being. He has opened so many doors and opportunities for me to help others and so I have accepted his call. In my efforts to help others, I have volunteered to teach a photography program for Autistic adults. Photography is a passion and talent that I am blessed with and that I used to express my feelings during my illness. There are many other areas which I have been volunteering my time. I find it such a blessing in serving.
I know that everyone’s IC is different and therefore each has his or her own struggles with it. As I learned through my struggle, behind all those clouds the sun still does shine brightly. We can never lose hope. We must always live having faith. For faith is the substance for all things hoped for. I hope my story may help you to never lose faith. Even if you may never be free of your suffering, do not let it keep you in darkness. See his light and he will comfort you and give you peace in your mind and heart. For he does hear you in your prayers. Angels do exist, for I was sent one.
God bless to all.
Photoboy61