skye321
09-16-2008, 07:00 AM
IM going to be 25 in a couple days and am at the point where I don't want to celebrate my B-day or do anything ever. Today Im home again because Im having a bad flare, alot of pressure and feeling like im peeing out balls of fire. Im scard that Im going to lose my Job I don't want to cause I have bills to pay for but I keep missing work because of my bladder. Is there anyone on here from Canada that knows how illnesses and working work. If there is a way I can make it so I don't lose my job or is there anyone that is on disability? If I could I wouldn't work my job makes my bladder symptoms worse. I feel so ashamed of myself and I always feel like my mom is dissapointed in me for missing so much work and I hate that she has to help me pay for my Elmiron prescription because I can't get benifits. This disease has taken over my life and I feel like im letting it, that Im being too weak. My mom and sister have mentioned to me about dating and trying to find someone, saying they just don't want me to be alone. All I can't think is how can I be with someone when Im in pain all the time and feel like I have to pee 24/7. How would I even start to explain to a man that hey I have IC and can only have sex maybe once or twice a year. That even if Im having a good day Im still to afraid to have sex because it might cause a flare. I guess it's just one more thing to add to the list. I have scoliosis and had surgery for pectus excavatum which I have scars from and my chest still isn't perfect. I also have one rib cage bigger then the other. My sisters always complain about being over weight, it makes me cringe inside. I would love to be able to trade my problems for theres. I am lonely but the last thing on my mind right now is dating someone. As for the women that have IC and are married you must be married to Angels that love you very much. So if anyone has an suggestions on things I can try to not feel so crappy about my self and not feel so worthless I would love to hear them. Venting on here does help alittle:)