Dixiefireball
03-22-2004, 09:24 AM
an aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig penwhen the old woman wistfully recalled hat the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary Lets have a party clem she suggested lets kill a pig
The farmer scrateched his grizzled head. Gee Mary he finally answered I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago.
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The poor country pastor was livid when he confronted his wife with the receipt for a $250 dress she had bought how cuold you do this he exclamined I don't know she wailed i was standing in the store looking at the dress then i found myself trying it on it was like the devil was whispering to me Gee you look great in that dress you should buy it
Well the pastor persisted you know how to deal with him! Just tell him Get behind me Satan!
I did replied his wife but then he said it looks great from back here too!
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a young boy decided he wanted to make some etra money so he ask his uncle joe if he could work on his farm? uncle joe wasn't sure the boy could handle the hard work on a farm but decided to give him a chance.
He told the boy to go milk one of his coews and depending on how well he did then he would decide rather he would hire him the boy was given a bucket and a stool
an hour later the boy retruned dirty and sweaty the bucket in one hand and the boken stook in the other
Extracteing the milk was easy the boy explained the really hard part was getting the cow to sit on the stool!
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a large seminar was held for ministers in training among the speakers were many well known motivational speakers One such speaker boldly approached the pulpit and gathering the entire crowd's attention said the best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman that wasn't my wife the crowd was shocked!
HE followed by saying and the woman was my mother!
the crowd burst into laughter and he gave his speech which went over well
about a week later one of the ministers who had attended the seminar decided to use that joke in his sermon as he shyly approached the pulpit one sunny sunday he tried to rehearse the joke in his head but it seemed a bit foggy to him
Getting to the microphone he said louly the greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of another woman that was not my wife
His congregation sat shocked
after standing there for almost 10 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke the pastor finally blurted out and i can't remember who she was!
The farmer scrateched his grizzled head. Gee Mary he finally answered I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago.
____________________________________________________
The poor country pastor was livid when he confronted his wife with the receipt for a $250 dress she had bought how cuold you do this he exclamined I don't know she wailed i was standing in the store looking at the dress then i found myself trying it on it was like the devil was whispering to me Gee you look great in that dress you should buy it
Well the pastor persisted you know how to deal with him! Just tell him Get behind me Satan!
I did replied his wife but then he said it looks great from back here too!
____________________________________________________
a young boy decided he wanted to make some etra money so he ask his uncle joe if he could work on his farm? uncle joe wasn't sure the boy could handle the hard work on a farm but decided to give him a chance.
He told the boy to go milk one of his coews and depending on how well he did then he would decide rather he would hire him the boy was given a bucket and a stool
an hour later the boy retruned dirty and sweaty the bucket in one hand and the boken stook in the other
Extracteing the milk was easy the boy explained the really hard part was getting the cow to sit on the stool!
____________________________________________________
a large seminar was held for ministers in training among the speakers were many well known motivational speakers One such speaker boldly approached the pulpit and gathering the entire crowd's attention said the best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman that wasn't my wife the crowd was shocked!
HE followed by saying and the woman was my mother!
the crowd burst into laughter and he gave his speech which went over well
about a week later one of the ministers who had attended the seminar decided to use that joke in his sermon as he shyly approached the pulpit one sunny sunday he tried to rehearse the joke in his head but it seemed a bit foggy to him
Getting to the microphone he said louly the greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of another woman that was not my wife
His congregation sat shocked
after standing there for almost 10 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke the pastor finally blurted out and i can't remember who she was!