Possibly Moving... 5 People, 1 Bathroom =(

[Sera]

My boyfriend's brother and brother's wife have put an offer in on their first home, and I heard that the offer was accepted. My boyfriend and I have been planning on possibly moving in with them and renting from them because 1) we would like to move, and 2) we would like to rent from and give our money to someone we know, knowing it would help them better afford their new investment, and 3) we would be saving at least $200-300 a month in rent this way (and that's if we chose a studio over a 1-bedroom apartment, which then we would be saving at least $400-500 a month). The only problem is they kind of changed their plans (originally they were looking for a place with a guest house in consideration of my boyfriend and I). The house their offer was accepted for is a three bedroom, one bathroom home. I am a bit worried about the fact that four (plus my boyfriend's sister-in-law is pregnant and due in two months) which makes five people will be sharing ONE bathroom. As it is, my IC symptoms include frequency and I will be needing immediate access to a restroom or else the pain can quickly become unbearable.

I don't know what to do. I really want to live with them and my boyfriend does too but I'm very worried about needing to void when someone else is showering or when the baby is getting a bath, etc. Recently after being diagnosed with IC, I also started having panic attacks, especially when needing to void and not able to find a restroom. I fear that I will also have a panic attack/anxiety just by the thought of "backing down" and having to explain it is because I can't have my own bathroom... which may come across as an odd reason to people who do not understand IC. Also, I am also worried about germs as my immune system has been suppressed due to all of my health issues; I am not keen on the idea of five people using one bathroom, which means that if one person is sick, that one bathroom could get everyone else sick as well.

Your thoughts and advice are greatly appreciated... sometimes I feel like I make too much of a fuss over my health but when I hold in my urine or eat the wrong thing and sometimes even when I do everything right, I still feel miserable. /sigh

[ICNDonna]

That would be a little too much closeness for me. If they had a second bathroom, it would help. Is there a possibility you could help put one in the house?

Donna

[Briza]

If it were me I would be looking for another place to live. Your friends will buy what they want, and what they can afford I hope, without having to depend on you or other renters to help them with the payment. I visited 4 (plus me makes 5) family members at Thanksgiving and I was in pure misery. One bathroom, right off the kitchen, not only did I have to wait, it was embarrasing b/c the bathroom was so close to the kitchen and den. And I was flaring and having to go every ten mins. Well, to add on another bathroom, even a half bath is so very expensive, believe me I know what things cost after completely rennovating my house!:) Personally, I wouldn't invest that much of my own money to improve someone else's property, even a good friend. Just my take on the situation. Hope you get things worked out:)Bri

[SharonA]

I don't think I could live that close in with other people. If it were just Hubby and me sharing one bathroom, that is one thing. But that many people??? :shake: I have a hard time urinating if I think someone is waiting to use the bathroom. Then you have to think of using it for more solid waste. :wink:

If you do decide to go ahead with these plans, you could buy one of those portable potty chairs that are used as bedside commodes for convalescing people. I am pretty sure you can find them at a medical supply place. Then, you can use it when you need it and dump the collecting pan when the bathroom is empty. Of course, that would mean turning your bedroom into a toilet room at times.

[jen74]

Hi Sera.
I have to agree with everyone else. To many people. My one concern would be that you mentioned you are immunopsupressed somewhat and that you could catch things easily. Well, like you said, if one gets the flu bug, then you all have the chance, that is unless you clean the toliet and whole bathroom everytime you use it, which is too much work in my opinion. If it is possible for you guys to add another bathroom like DOnna said, then that would help, but still remember you will be living with 5 people. for me, that would be too much. I honestly think spending the extra money( if possible) and getting your own place is worth your sanity and health.
Jen

[snowgirl]

If it were me I would be looking for another place to live. Your friends will buy what they want, and what they can afford I hope, without having to depend on you or other renters to help them with the payment. I visited 4 (plus me makes 5) family members at Thanksgiving and I was in pure misery. One bathroom, right off the kitchen, not only did I have to wait, it was embarrasing b/c the bathroom was so close to the kitchen and den. And I was flaring and having to go every ten mins. Well, to add on another bathroom, even a half bath is so very expensive, believe me I know what things cost after completely rennovating my house!:) Personally, I wouldn't invest that much of my own money to improve someone else's property, even a good friend. Just my take on the situation. Hope you get things worked out:)Bri

adding on a bathroom very expensive. I will say I am very grateful that my parents let me move home will paying Cobra of 700 till medicare kicks in. THey also only had 1.5 bathrooms. They hired a contractor and had the half bathroom made into a very nice big full size bathroom with toilet, shower and laundry room. It was very nice of them to do this before I moved home. My friends remind me of this often what they did to accomodate me.

Yes I would be nervous all those people and only one bathroom. I completely understand. My brother and his wife come to visit from Indy IN now we have 2 full bathrooms. I do give up my bedroom when they are here and sleep in another room .

VIcky Can you get a studio or efficiency for a short lease ?

[amaranthe]

I agree with the others that with so many ppl it would be hard. When my DH and I were newlyweds, we rented a house with just one bathroom. Even THAT was horrible!

Remember, not only are you going to have problems getting into the toilet when you need to, but then there is going to be the problem of too many people getting ready at the same time for work, etc. (There's only so much hot water at one time!)

Though, if you DO decide to try this, I would definately get a portable toilet chair for your bedroom so you will have restroom access all the time. However, I agree with several others that it would just be too many people for me. But, whatever works for you!

[NewLife]

I don't think it's a good idea to have a financial relationship with family and live that close. Let alone the fact that you will be sharing a bathroom. There is no such thing as free cheese. If you save on rent, you'll pay for it in other ways, like a worse relationship with the in-laws, lack of privacy hurting your intimate relationship w/your BF, etc.

From their perspective too, they should not be making decisions on one of the biggest investments of their life, their home, based on whether or not it accomodates you. If they choose a property based on that criterion instead of what they really like, they will blame you guys for it.

My advice would be complete autonomy. I personally had some very bad experiences w/being financially involved with family. Also, my husband and I had to rent for a year when we were waiting for our condo building to be built. We chose a cheaper old basement unit to save money and hated it so much that we never ate at home and, as a result, I gained 15 lbs in one year and a bunch of allergies because that place was so nasty. The couple that rented that unit before us broke up, and we understand why, it was so depressing living there and it was a real test of our relationship. You always get what you pay for :)

[dyno]

I agree with the others but if you decide to do this, one of the RV porta potty's is a good option. You can set it in your room and use it as needed.