VickiB
08-05-2008, 04:46 PM
Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself ~~'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.' -- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
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I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.' -- Eleanor Roosevelt
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Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement. -- Mark Twain
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. -- George Burns
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Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - - Victor Borge
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Be careful about reading health books.. You may die of a misprint. -- Mark Twain
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By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.-- Groucho Marx
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Only Irish coffee provides, in a single glass, all four essential food groups: alcohol , caffeine, sugar and fat. -- Alex Levine
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I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap. --Bob Hope
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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. -- W.C. Fields
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We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. -- Will Rogers
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Don't worry about avoiding temptation as you grow older, it will avoid you. -- Winston Churchill
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Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty . But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.-- Phyllis Diller
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By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. -- Billy Crystal
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I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.' -- Eleanor Roosevelt
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement. -- Mark Twain
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. -- George Burns
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - - Victor Borge
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Be careful about reading health books.. You may die of a misprint. -- Mark Twain
------------------------------------------------------------------------
By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates
------------------------------------------------------------------------
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.-- Groucho Marx
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Only Irish coffee provides, in a single glass, all four essential food groups: alcohol , caffeine, sugar and fat. -- Alex Levine
------------------------------------------------------------------------
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap. --Bob Hope
------------------------------------------------------------------------
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. -- W.C. Fields
------------------------------------------------------------------------
We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. -- Will Rogers
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Don't worry about avoiding temptation as you grow older, it will avoid you. -- Winston Churchill
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty . But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.-- Phyllis Diller
------------------------------------------------------------------------
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. -- Billy Crystal