Need Advice....

[Mountainman]

OK.... Here's the deal. When my wife has a few to drink, she repeats herself over, and over, and over or she'll get on one topic and will not give it a rest.....she goes on, and on, and on. It drives me crazy and I can see that other people get tired of it very quickly as well. I tried to tactfully bring this to her attention several months ago, and she became very defensive and pretty much told me where to get off.

Should I bring up the topic again, and if so, how should I approach it? I know most all of you here are women........what should I do ladies?

[amaranthe]

I think there are a few different ways to handle this. First, I would try talking to her about it when she isnt drinking and tell her in a very loving way what you just told us. When giving critisizm it always goes down better if it is sandwiched between positive things. You know what they say, "A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down." The main thing is even though you are embarrassed and irritated, if she feels it would embarrass her more for you to tell her in front of people when she has already told a story there, then you need some kind of a secret code. This can be used at home too, not just when other people are around.

Yes, it hurts to be told something unflattering about yourself, no way around that. I think that's so many ppl just go into denial mode, it hurts to much to think other ppl see you in a less than positive light. But, the good news is that if you can get her past that initial sting, then you will have done her, you and everyone else a huge service. But, you will have done more for HER than anyone else.

If she doesnt believe you, then unfortunately, it is every man for himself! You will just have to tell her everytime she does it with you, and if other ppl dont tell her when she does it with them, they'll just have to suffer thru it.

Good luck! I know you are in a hard spot. I hope the conversation goes well and she will trust that you are telling her because you love her and want others to see her in as positive of a light as you do.

[Mountainman]

Thanks.... I would never discuss this with her when other people were present. I think I'll just try to bring the subject up again and hopefully she'll be more receptive this time.

[ICNDonna]

If talking when she's totally sober doesn't help, you might want to record her when she's drinking --- to be played later for her when you're alone --- then erased!

Donna

[Michelle in KC]

I agree with Amranthe and Donna. Best to tell her while sober and in a good mood.

Michelle.

[Mountainman]

Recording.....that's a really good idea. I have a small recorder around here somewhere. I think she would be very surprised to hear herself.