I don't want intercourse

[Aussie1]

I just broke up with my boyfriend. Mainly because of IC, but he also wants to have children and I don't, especially because of my severe depression and IC.

Do you think it's possible that I will ever meeting anyone that is ok being intimate without penetration?

My other big problem is that all birth controls (I guess it's the additives in them) give me flares, so I can't take them and get so concerned about intercourse.

Thoughts anyone?

Wendy

[SharonA]

It is very possible. :)

[waterflow]

I'm not interested in sex at all of any kind. (Never had any either) Not dating anyone and the wanting to get married ect is gone. The thought of having intercourse with a man turns my stomach. For one: pain and two I don't think to much of men now. Long story. Also, I think partly to with my age being early 40's my sex drive has driven over a cliff. I say any partner who complains about not having sex or not getting enough of it or anything to do with that isn't much of a partner. If you can't live with just being friends then there isn't much to the relationship.

[amaranthe]

I believe that there was someone made for everyone in the world, and that includes you! I think when you meet yours, he will truly love YOU, and though the penetration thing might throw him a big curveball, ultimately you will find other ways to compensate for that when the time is right and the man is right.

But dont sell yourself short! There is so much more to all of us than just that!

I hope you find your "someone" soon and can quit worrying.

[liznazz]

It is possible. The year I was diagnosed (2004) my ex-husband left me for another woman because I couldn't have sex. ( So much for in sickness & in health.) I was convinced I would never meet anyone again. A year later, I met a wonderful man on-line. After the first few dates, there was a definite attraction and I felt it was time to mention the IC issues. He was extremely understanding, supportive and two years later continues to be so. We plan to marry in the future, and there are creative ways to work around the penetration issue. Please don't lose faith-- be positive! There are some very understanding men out there! liz

[Aussie1]

I am really not worried about it at all. In fact, I think I am happier when I am single. I think for me personally sex has given me nothing but headaches. I know I am young (33) but I do not want children either.

I am probably better off this way. Focus on myself, and my cat and my ferrets. :cat:

[waterflow]

Aussie, what a cute little kittie. :) Is it she or he? The vets cat looks just like yours but your little one is a much smaller version. The vets cat is so fat he really needs to go on a diet but people come and keep giving him treats. '

I agree with you too. Much easier I think with dealing with the IC by myself with just my cats. They don't judge me or put me down. Once in a while they try to trip me going down the stairs but still. ;)

I've always heard there is someone out there for everyone but I don't believe that. Some people are meant to be alone no matter how hard they try to find someone. I've tried and tried and still here with just my shadow.

[sandymarie]

I am sorry you and your boyfriend broke up. I know that it hurts. I think almost everyone goes through that at one time in their life. I believe that there is someone for everyone, if that is the desire of your heart. You are right to be content with your kitty right now and forever, but I think one day when the right man comes along, you will know it. Sometimes breakups don't last either,. You are special and beautiful, from what I see of your picture and young enough to take your time. There are good men out there and there are bad men out there. Some men would would give anything to have you on their arm for a lifetime. You just have not met him yet. Sex is a touchie subject with men and women. Those of us with ic already feel bad enough without being put down because of it. I know in my heart that someday at just the right time you will find companionship and love , until then hang in there , we all understand and are here for you. Remember this one thing. It is more painful to be married and be lonely that to be single and lonely. I have learned a lot thru the years and I made it , you will too. Warm hugs and many prayers.


JJ:)

[GriffsMommy]

Wendy,
I am very sorry your boyfriend broke up with you. I am married to a wonderful man but he does have the sex drive of a 16 year old. I know many will say that I am wrong but after many heart to heart talks about sex in our marriage my husband really has made me realize that they think and feel about sex differently than we do. Alot of women can take it or leave it and it's not that easy for men.
My husband loves me very much and hates to see the pain that sex causes me. He has talked about never having sex again because he knows how bad it hurts me. He really is understanding if I'm in too much pain to do anything but after awhile it's like the hormones take over. And I know alot of ladies here will probably get upset by this but it's the truth. Mentally he knows that I'm in pain and can't but his hormones kinda get in the way and even though he knows it's not my fault he does get kinda grumpy when it's been awhile. As others have said, when I don't feel completely horrible then I do other things to try to keep him happy when we can't have sex.
Sometimes I think that if hubby didn't care if we had sex then I would never want to have it again. But there are times that if we find the right position I really don't have alot or sometimes any pain at all. Usually for me it's the aftermath that is more painful that the act itself. For me personally if I can make him happy and it feels good to me during then it's still worth it to me. I've often said that if my pain most days is a 7 or an 8 and sex takes it to a 9 or 10 then it really isn't that big of a deal. If I could get my pain down to a 2 or 3 and sex put it up to a 9 or 10 on the pain scale then I think I would be alot more opposed to it.
I do think there is someone out there for everyone. If you are upfront with a man if he really likes you then he will continue the relationship because for the right guy a relationship is not about sex, that's just the cherry on top so to speak.
I hope this wasn't all over the place, I've been so tired lately and in a horrible flare that my brain isn't working correctly and it's even hard for me to read what I'm writing because of how tired I am. Guess it's time for me to go take a nap, lol.

[lisabar36]

Hi there. I am sorry you broke up with your boyfriend. I do know there are some decent caring men out there. I found one myself. After coming out of a bad marriage, I used to say I am much better off single. I enjoyed my single life but then I met my fiance, and he has been one of the most supportive people in my life. I am so glad I have him. I hope things work out for you.

[niki_72]

i feel a little funny talking about this, but a long penis is worse for me than a short one lol

maybe i need to find a man with a short but wide penis? lol sorry, it sounds funny, but I am serious

[niki_72]

do you think a very long big penis can damage the bladder and cause ic? I know it sounds silly, I think I most likely got bladder damage from bacteria, but when i was younger, before my ic started, my boyfriend was very well endowed. i would not like that at all today with ic!..gosh no wayyyyyy

[Tinkerbell23]

i think in our case size does matter and bigger is not better...i dont know if it could damage a bladder, but it def hits into it and causes pain. and bacteria is an issue as well if the guy isnt super clean...and i think if it is bigger maybe it holds in more bacteria. i dont know...

[niki_72]

yeah i agree with what you are saying. This is a real personal topic for me and this is the only place where people will understand me! :) bacteria? yeah you know what the strange thing is? When I had my very first symptoms of IC (11 years ago) I also had bacterial vaginitis at that time and was using metrogel vaginal cream. hmmm :confused: I wish I knew exactly what caused my IC. was it something I did? I am sure we all have asked ourselves the same question.. but I guess we can never know for sure what exactly caused our individual case.

[Tinkerbell23]

i have my own personal opinions of how i might have gotten ic. abusing diet pills ( i battled an eating disorder for 10 years), chronic UTIs since i was a kid, a weak immune system, artificial sweeteners...i dont know...

[Aussie1]

I actually think I may be better off without it. I get so worried for the person I am with because I'm not having sex and than that stress makes me more stressed!!! aaahhhhggggg!

My ex boyfriend is very hurt and angry and texting me some pretty awful things. Recently he said something like (I won't quote him) "You know that you will never find a good guy like me again that won't be bothered by the fact that you don't want to have intercourse!"

Great! :confused:

This is why I have pets!! :cat:

Wendy

[Becky Boo]

Hi Ladies, hope we're all feeling comfortable today?!!? Well.....my husband is well endowed & I do now find myself wishing he wasn't :o(((( - We spent 10 months separated & got back together in September of last year :smile tee As you can imagine we were at it likes rabbits :woohoo: Well, by the end of October (still at it like rabbits) I had my first attack of what I thought was Cystitis - & that's where it all began for me :mad: I was diagnosed with IC in May of this year & PFD shortly after. I have had frequency all my life so I don't blame the sex (or my husband) for this & do believe it would have flared up at some point! I haven't had sex with my husband since January of this year pure & simpley because I'm scared to :o(. I haven't had an actual "IC flare" since I stopped having sex. I am in pain most days with PFD, vulvodynia & bladder symptoms like burning etc but I believe that sex is going to be my number one trigger :cussing: I also do other things to keep my hubby happy but I must say since the meds I don't have any desire to do anything, I just wanna sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep! Hope I get over this but also believe if my husband truly loves me & I him we will work through this! Just can't see me ever enjoying sex again & it scares me :confused:
Thanks for reading & if anyone has any advice I'd be very glad to hear it! Good luck to all the other ladies that have replied to this thread & I wish you every happiness with or without a partner :)
Big hugs
xx

[Aussie1]

I'm with you Becky! I'm so afraid to do it again in case I have a flare or even worse, I get a UTI that starts a horrific flare lasts 47 days.

Wendy

[K121]

I am a 28 year old man, and after an injury that not only I believe led me to getting IC but my man parts no longer work like before, I am also beginning to come to the realization that I will probably have to live a life without intercourse

The last 3 weeks have been a nightmare for me, but I guess if one has to come to terms with this thing, they just have to deal, I cant say what I want to say because I was already warned, but if one has to live they have to live with what they have, if I have to live with being less of a man then I was before then I guess that would mean I probably have to live with not having sex because anything else will be to painful mentally

[Becky Boo]

Hi there :hi: this sure is difficult to deal with & there are also many women on this site that also feel they will never be able to have sex again! When I was first diagnosed in May of this year I couldn't deal with what was happening at all! I have now learn't to cope with IC & other related conditions & learn't that as you find meds that work for you life indeed becomes better :smile tee may be not as care free as it was but much better than I was first diagnosed. I now control IC as apposed to IC controling me. I've also managed to have sex again which I thought would NEVER happend for me again :woohoo: hang in there things do get better & easier. Do you follow the IC diet? It's offered so much help to so many of us! It is hard to give up some of your favourite foods & drinks but is sooooooooo worth it when your bladder starts to calm & become more comfortable.
Big healing hugs & be strong, things get better!
xx

[Angeles]

I understand how everyone is feeling, but it is important to be persistent and have faith.
Many times fear plays a huge part in our emotional and tehn physcal condition. I can totally identify myself with the feelings described here.
Please do not let this affect your confidence and your mental health.

I know it is not easy but it is a daily challenge we need to work on: do not let it consume you!

I think that an anxiety medication is KEY to someone wanting to go back to sex after dealing with flares, etc.
If you can afford and get counseling then go for it too.

There are treatments to explore, valium suppositories and other treatments for PFD that have helped many.

Aanxiety, fear and feeling less of a woman or a man because we can't have sex are things we need to manage the best possible way.

We are much more than our abilities to have sex. We can't define our lives or reduce it to that. Think of the pople you love and who love you regardless of you being able to have sex.
Think of the other things you can do that makes you feel good: music, a hobby, friends, family, movies, even work (well at times!), church, yoga, meditation, pets etc.

I'm saying this to you and I also say this to myself:
You never know what tomorrow will bring, so chin up.

[bri25]

I just broke up with my boyfriend. Mainly because of IC, but he also wants to have children and I don't, especially because of my severe depression and IC.

Do you think it's possible that I will ever meeting anyone that is ok being intimate without penetration?

My other big problem is that all birth controls (I guess it's the additives in them) give me flares, so I can't take them and get so concerned about intercourse.

Thoughts anyone?

Wendy

I totally understand what you are going through right now. I am in almost the same position. My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years and my health issues have just about taken its toll on him. Aside from not being able to have intercourse, I cannot contribute to the monthly income and I am not always fun to be with. While I am hoping to have a future with this guy, he is no longer so sure he can deal with my being out of work, often under the weather, being expensive and to top it all off the lack of sex because he doesn't want to see me in pain.

This is not the first time I have had a relationship end because of my health issues (I have migraines, depression and a few others too). Guys just can't seem to handle me and I often wonder if I will end up alone and not fulfill my dreams of being a wife and mother.

Its a very difficult road we endure and while I don't have any good advice or words of wisdom to comfort you, I just wanted to let you know that you aren't the only one out there who is having these issues effect your relationship. ---hugs----

[SharonA]

Brianne...I am so sorry this is so difficult for you. :( (((Hugs)))

[Jennilyn]

A few months after I got pregnant with my first daughter (now 6) it became really painful to have sex. For the next few years, we only did it a handful of times per year and my DH was fine with it. We did other stuff besides penetration. ;) But now for some reason it doesn't hurt as much to do it so we've been at it more. Of course, the last time we did it I ended up with a UTI and then the symptoms stayed...

[Becky Boo]

Hi Brianne, I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time! Life sure isn't easy with these illnesses. Hang in there. I do believe there's someone for everyone. Just try & remember that people that are perfectly well & healthy have relationship troubles & issues with sex. They also have times where they're not much fun to be with & can suffer from depression ! These are all problems that are part of being in a relationship so try not to be so hard on yourself! Don't give up your dream of being a wife & a mother! This is a presious dream & one you should hang onto & wait for the rite moment for it to become your reality.
Wishing you lots of luck & happiness & healing hugs!
xx

[bjcov]

My hubby and I had a great sex life before we got married. Then 6mths b4 the wedding, we had intercourse when I had to go to the bathroom. Well, there started my urgency frequency. I did get better after I had my babies, but our sex life was about 1 time every 6weeks. I never, every wanted to do it and I was scared too do it. This went on for 7 yrs. Finally I got sick of it and tried to get help. Since starting the Elavil I am now able to have intercourse. It has brought our marriage closer. Its hard when you don't wanna do it. So, if after 7yrs, I can do it. You never know it can happen to you too!

[Angeles]

I agree...and thank you for the encouragement, we all need it.

Sex is not the only thing that can go wrong in a relationship, otherwise there wouldn't be divorces and beak ups for all people out there in this world who don't have IC or V V (the vast majority, right?)

Love is a very powerful feeling, and the most important love you can feel is the love to yourself. When there's true love in a relationship, it can even create healing.

Now, if you are in a relationship that is bringing you more distress than good, and you are constantly worried about not being able to have sex, or your partner is being abusive or mean because you can't have sex: then it is time to re-evalaute things and maybe move on.

Sex is a very important part of life, I'm not denying it, I miss it too! I had a perfect sex life before IC.
We have to work hard on our ways to recovery, some take longer than others.
The most important thing is that you can't just let this illness consume you, and be like a shadow over everything else that is good in your life. I read once that "an eclipse doesn't destroy the sun" and I remember those words...because they are very true.

And a thought that I only hope it helps:
"Faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to" (George Seaton) :angel:
I wish all of you a nice pain free holiday weekend and lots of love.

[Sharon]

Many men tend to think they are less of a man when they are unable to preform as they once did.

It's a negative thought process that keeps you depressed about your situation. You would be surprised at how many woman would not be bothered by your situation, and would still consider you to be all man.

As my husband always says, sex isn't just intercourse.

[NewLife]

Hi Aussie1! I think that if you meet someone that you become really attracted to or fall in love, you may want to reconsider having sex. I don't think that the human body is capable of enjoying sex if there isn't a huge spark between 2 people. Maybe that person you broke up with wasn't right for you. I'm sure there is a right person for everyone!

And as far as size, I heard that it's proportionate to a man's shoe size. Not sure how true that is, lol! I do agree that bigger is not better with IC.

[Angeles]

Agreed.
Like I say... contrary to all the advertisement, the silly pills they sell out there and all the wooo haaa about "big shoe sizes" these days... the thruth is:

Small shoes are in high demand:biglaugh:

...at least for us...! got to laugh!

[Becky Boo]

I'm with you on that Angels :biglaugh: it's gotta be small, small, small!!!!!!!!!!!!! Unfortunatley for me my husband is big, big, big :bonk:

[formom]

Oh no my husband shoe size is a 13!!! OUCH:cussing:

[TrinityEngel]

I hate having sex. I know a huge part of it is the pain part but I'm also not that into men at the moment. It gets aggravating because I have a lot of guy friends and a lot of them want to date me but I have to tell them upfront that I don't like being touched and having sex. *shrugs*

[DanielleFL]

Hi Aussie1! I think that if you meet someone that you become really attracted to or fall in love, you may want to reconsider having sex. I don't think that the human body is capable of enjoying sex if there isn't a huge spark between 2 people. Maybe that person you broke up with wasn't right for you. I'm sure there is a right person for everyone!

And as far as size, I heard that it's proportionate to a man's shoe size. Not sure how true that is, lol! I do agree that bigger is not better with IC.

I actually disagree with this. I met someone that I am very attractive to over a year ago and we have been together since. I love him more that words could say but it's hard for me to enjoy sex because of the pain. No matter how turned on I start out once the penetration starts and all I feel is pain it's hard to stay in the moment.

I do agree chemistry is important and if you don't want to have sex of any form with the person there could be an issue

[sami4]

I dont know if most of you are aware of this or not, but penetration problems may not be due to IC, they are due to pelvic floor disorders. Those of you who are interested should get an evaluation by a pelvic floor physical therapist. They do internal vaginal manipulation and its amazing once you learn to differentiate IC symptoms from pelvic floor problems. Most urethral burning and spasms are also pelvic floor referred pain to urethra and not due to IC or bladder.
There are a lot of very nice, loving men who have had prostate surgery and problems who cannot get a good erection after the treatment and would be very relieved to meet and love a female who understood this.
Sammi

[bjcov]

intercourse doesn't hurt for me, it just makes me have urgency probs for a couple of days. I would love to see a good PT. However, I have been told that there are no good PT's in my area of Washington State. If anyone knows of a good one in Seattle, or Portland, OR. I would appreciate it. I just don't wanna go to someone that has no idea what they are doing. I have enough problems, don't wanna add anymore.

[KarenAnne]

If you have VV along w/ the IC, & get the proper treatment, you may feel differently. I do know from personal experience that we shouldn't make important decisions when we are suffering from clinical depression.

Have you been examined for VV? Are you on an antidepressant? I am so sorry you are suffering right now. There are several options for BC that you can discuss w/ your gyn besides oral BC pills. I hope things get better for you real soon.

[itzbezzy]

oy. this thread is depressing in its own way but it's nice to know we're not alone, right? lol...i've struggled with the whole 'i can't have sex' thing for what feels like way too long now, and it hasn't managed to get much easier. i can do other things in lieu of straight-up sex but apparently that's never enough for anybody i'm with, and when they realize i'm not kidding about the sex causing me pain of the highest order, they book it and i'm all alone again. arrrrgh. :( sigh. oh well. guess we can all keep hoping that the right person for us is out there somewhere.

[Angeles]

Ladies, there's hope. Please don't throw the towel before trying teh options that are presented. This can be challenging but please use your energy to focus on a solution. Just my 2 cents.
There are things that I wish I knew before, like there are these dilators that are sold online for less than $50 . I spet about $80 b/c I also bought the 2 books that came with it. They are designed for vaginismus, which to me is the same thing as PFD = what causes most ICers to have pain or a big piece of it.

I have spent $30 or more each time I bought a vibrator in a sex store (plus gasoline...) if I only knew.... I could purchase this latex free dilators ( I think 4 ot 5 for less than $50!!!).
I can't probbably post the link b/c it may look that I'm doing a commercial.

I have gone to so many PT sessions, paid so many copays, parking, used time off from work, etc. I recommend talking to your doctor about it and go to a PT (if you can afford - please go for it) but if you can't just go a few trimes to learn how to use it or ask your doctor and do at home every other day. They just need to guide you and the evaluate the progress. It is not a rocket scince type of thing once you read and leanr how to do it, being gentle, pushin to the sides and donw (never up to the uretha or bladder).

This will help. Plus a muscle relaxer, meditation, heat pads, Prosed or pyridium and yes prayer.

When you want to give up, that exactly when you should not give up.....

God bless you all.
:angel:

[loraleena]

i feel a little funny talking about this, but a long penis is worse for me than a short one lol

maybe i need to find a man with a short but wide penis? lol sorry, it sounds funny, but I am serious

Large is way worse! In this case bigger is not better!

[loraleena]

intercourse doesn't hurt for me, it just makes me have urgency probs for a couple of days. I would love to see a good PT. However, I have been told that there are no good PT's in my area of Washington State. If anyone knows of a good one in Seattle, or Portland, OR. I would appreciate it. I just don't wanna go to someone that has no idea what they are doing. I have enough problems, don't wanna add anymore.

It seems to be the orgasm that triggers problems a few hours later or the next day. Maybe all that spasming??

[etherealred]

I am very sorry you had to break up with your boyfriend. I am sure it is very tough for you! I hope you can find someone who meets your needs.

Oddly enough, despite the pain, I have the sex drive of a man and I am female. So having PFD as well as IC, pain upon penetration, worrying about leakage during sex, having to worry about heating pads and ice packs after sex, etc, is a really big pain in the butt for me. I love sex and hate not being able to be intimate with my partner at the moment due to the pain. I do get grumpy when I don't get any for awhile... it's been about six weeks now and sometimes I want to just tear my hair out! I can be in the middle of a flare and still want sex. I know he wants it too but is really concerned about me hurting and getting worse from sex. And yeah, it would hurt terribly right now and would probably irritate things, but somehow I still want it so badly.

Weird, huh? For most people, pain is a libido killer. For me, it's not.

[OllieR]

I did not have time to read every single post on this one, but I was purusing it looking for relationship advice. For awhile I was like many of you really uninterested in dating or having a relationship. I do not think there is anything wrong with that. Recently though I have become more interested and have said "yes" to guys who wanted to go out on a date. However, I do want to say not to be depressed or discouraged or think you have to spend your life alone please! I know many girls (like I said, I have been there at times myself) who are not interested in dating but still lead very fulfilling lives. Even though I am young we had a family friend in her 80s who never got married. Just did not want to. One of the happiest people I know and she has many friends and her family who keep her company. I have had several friends in my life I have gotten so close to - closer than any boy I've dated (I have never been in a serious relationship with a boy). I think if I found a boy I got that close to it would be great, but if not, I know I have very strong and fulfilling relationships in my life already. I would hope that nobody would think that just because they weren't interested in marriage they had to spend their life alone or shut up in their house. I find that even married couples have me over and it is not awkward. I am still close friends with girls who have gotten hitched so it's not even like you have to find other single people. In any case, back to the thread in particular, I'm glad to see I'm not alone in some of my fears of dating and IC. I have learned quite a bit from this thread and others - thanks for sharing your experiences!

[Tinkerbell23]

I find the best way for me to have sex is take a xanax before. 1. it relaxes me and 2. it relaxes is my muscles which make is less painful.

[pumpkin]

I tried posting a thread but no one responded..
I am new to the site, I've been lurking it awhile since I got my symptoms...
Im only 23 and now I'm single...I broke up with my boyfriend because he was causing me more stress than helping me be at ease.
My symptoms came on suddenly in december with frequency back in Dec. 09
I got treated for UTIs even though there was no infection present. The frequency comes and goes but I can hold it, I pee maybe 10 times a day give or take. my main problems are pressure and just a constant uncomfortable feeling, when it's bad I get a lot of burning, some occasional mild pain in what feels like my urethra. my whole pelvic area will be inflammed and it will even hurt to touch my tummy and my vagina will feel swollen and sore. I finally got health insurance and got to see a great gyno today, my last gyno suspected ENDO cause of my period history and said my symptoms sounded like endo. This Gyno I saw today did an ultra sound (turned out normal), a pelvic (seemed normal)..but is doing a full blood panel to check for thyroid and hormone problems that could be causing my symptoms. he's also checking for infections that could be hard to find. if everything comes up normal he's sending me to a uro to check for IC and if I don't have IC he's gonna perform a Lapro on me to check for endo. I'm super nervous and have a sinking feeling I have IC...
I just started taking Prelief when I eat and it helps a little....do you suggest taking it even when you're not eating?


Anyway that's my story so far, I could REALLY use some advice and support...I'm scared and this is all new to me.
I keep living my life and putting a smile on my face and make the most of everything but it's hard sometimes. I just want to be the way I used to be, confident and care free...I'm so insecure about my womanhood now.

I'm single and I'm scared no one will want to date me cause I can't have sex everyday..especially when you first start dating in the "honeymoon" phase.
I've been talking to an old romance for months now and he's coming to visit me towards the end of august. I soooo badly want to be able to enjoy sex with him...is there any supplement advice, positions advice, medication advice?

I'm trying to work the IC diet into my life...also is there any questions I should ask my gyno or possible uro that will help better determine whether I have IC or endo? or possibly a deep routed hard to detect infection.

I just want answers and relief :(
some support from other ladies would def. help too

[CheshireKat]

Oh wow. Your symptoms and everything are just like mine actually. You also are going through the same thing my doctors put me through. They all suspected Endo or fibriods as my cause of pain but turns out its the IC (obviously)

I ended up getting diagnosed after they took some MRI's of my uterus and noticed a strange mass in my bladder that they said they thought was IC. So, they decided to give me a test (for the life of me I can't remember the name) where they took a catheter and put different liquids in me to see how I reacted to it.

As for the sex part I know what thats like :( I really can't have sex at all to be honest. It just hurts so bad. My boyfriend however has been very supportive and is up to trying new things all the time so that makes me feel better. You shouldn't give up on dating or anything though. You should still date and try to figure out what ways you can get intimate without it hurting. As for what medicines I don't know, I am still trying to figure that out myself >_<

But don't lost hope :3 You will figure it out just need to be patient and relaxed. Stressing and worrying won't help it at all :/

[pumpkin]

hey cheshire, how old are you if you don't mind me asking?
it's just nice to know there's other young women out there going through what I go through. Some days my discomfort is so minimal I barely notice, others (like today) it's bad....just tons of burning :(

Can i ask you..how bad did getting catheterized hurt? I'm sooo scared of going to a uro, like terrified....do they give you anything to sedate you or numb you down there when they do the tests?

feel free to personally message me anytime, thank you for responding. no one was responding to my posts and I was getting discouraged. I just figure, if I can somewhat handle the pain now, with treatment it will only get better. I just want to know what it is already! still waiting on my blood panel and testing results, I'll let you know what happens.

xo

[OllieR]

Oh man... sex. It's hard. I found some resources on here through forum searches and a link under patient information on it and they were helpful. At one point I found good positions. I like it when I am on top so I can control the speed/angle better. Basically during sex, I tell myself to have a goal to keep things off my bladder. You definitely want to build up to it so he can learn too.

So far the guy I have been dating has been incredibly turned on by my requests. He says he likes that I know exactly what turns me on (which of course is nothing like any girl he's ever dated lol!) and tell him. He's learning quickly what is and isn't OK and it's always more interesting when we find something new together. You do have to get creative - especially if you rarely actually want penetration, but this creative stuff can be a lot of fun! Cosmo magazine can be a good place for tips to "spice up" your sex life and not all of them are hard core intercourse.

[pumpkin]

Thank you for the reply Ollie...you sound like you've got a great head on your shoulders and that you're doing well with your IC

what do you take and what has worked for you as far as medications and herbal supplements...

I'd love to talk to you so PM me :)

[Tinkerbell23]

lidocaine jelly will help you a lot with sex, you need a script for it though...

[CheshireKat]

I'm 17 pumpkin, and to be completely honest with you. Having the catheter was very painful for me. During the procedure (which is pretty short thank goodness) she numbed me with some stuff called lidicaine. It worked ok. Of course, this was also my first ever time having anything like that done and I am already super sensitive.

And yeah, everything gets better so don't worry =D Just need to be strong.

[OllieR]

Thanks Pumpkin - I try to keep things in perspective but I have my days too lol. Right now I'm just on some pain medication while I'm waiting to see a new uro since the old one was a little sadistic lol. It's hard when you first get diagnosed. Anyways, I'm not dating that guy anymore. Ironically, he couldn't keep up with the fast pace of my life. :P

[pumpkin]

@cheshire
I'm so sorry the catheter hurt you, my Uro didn't even bring up the potassium test. instead he did a pelvic exam, ultrasound, and had me do a CT scan and scheduled a cystoscopy to view my bladder. my cystoscopy will be in september under anesthesia, I had the option of staying awake and taking a valium, but I didn't think I'd do well with it, so I opted for anesthesia!
My uro doesn't think I have IC though, and wants to of course..make sure I don't through a cystoscopy...if I don't have it he wants to treat me with some kind of nerve therapy through the back of my heel or something for twelve weeks once a week? have any of you guys heard of it? PM me anytime cheshire if you need to talk, xo

@ollie
I'm sorry you and your boy didn't work out....my man will be here on wednesday! I haven't had sex in over 3 months so i'm super nervous...he'll be my first new partner since I split from my 21/2 year relationship! I have discovered however that one vicodin and one pyridium make me almost pain free in the meantime till they can figure out what the hell is going on in my body! i just don't like the idea of getting in the habit of vicodin, cause I know it causes major constepation and it's super addictive apparently. Where do you live ollie? pm me and maybe we can chat sometime! I need a support system