Where are places to look for help?

[dyno]

In an effort to help anyone who may be looking for some help, someone to listen to them or a way to get out of a bad situation I am going to start this thread.

I know it is hard to admit it but many of us at some point in our lives need help, need some direction and need support.

Since many of us don't know who anyone else is in the real world except on here, the ICN, it might be easier to talk on here. Meaning we are names on the computer, some of us are friends too outside of the ICN but for many, we just know each other on here.

I can think of at least 4 or 5 times in my life I have had to seek outside help. I have seen a couple different priests over the years for counsel. I have talked to several Drs., and most recently, several years ago, when I was getting out of a bad and abusive relationship I saw several counslers, Dr.s and would have went to a shelter if necessary.

There is no shame in seeking outside help! That is what those services are there for.

I know that IC can be hard to deal with at times. Family can be unreasonable because it is not them and they don't understand. So for whatever reasons people may need to seek outside help and there can be a lot, reach out for it.

I would love to read how others have dealt with bad times in their past and have people tell us about places in general to look for help.

I hope everyone is having a great day and I want to try to keep everyone as happy as possible.:)

[leelee88]

Jolene,

I totally agree..

I did not have to look for outside help as what you described but kind of in a different form.
I know when I was in a place in my life that was really dark and depressing I knew I had to do something, But I just did not know what. I did not want people to judge me if I went to counseling or if I had to go on antidepressants..But sometimes in life you just have to make this decision so you can get beyond feeling so down and blue all the time. I talked to my Dr and she explained to me how some people sometimes just need that little extra boost in their life. That is when I decided to go on Cymbalta for depression. This medicine made me feel so much better about my outlook on life. I did not let those little things bother me. And once again I felt worthy of myself. I had a added bonus it helped my aches and pain. This was not an easy decision to go on this medicine but I stuck with it, and it helped me get through a really tough time. I would not hesitate to go back on Anything to help me out if I ever get to that point in my life again.

So I really agree that sometimes we need a outside source or med's to help us when we just cannot seem to help ourselves..And there is NOTHING wrong with that.

[snowgirl]

Ronda

yes you most certaintly in your life was in a dark and depressing place but now you are in a better place and I think of you everytime I play If only I Could Imagine . I was listenting to it everyday. I do need to listen to it it helps me .

I have been in counseling for over a year now I believe and on my 4th therapist. You have to find one that you click with and sometimes that takes time getting to know it each and then you decide I am not clicking with this one. They understand and you move on the a new recommendation. I am currently in therapy with a PHD psychologist at the pain clinic. He has been in practice for 28 years. He has had 4 wow 4 but understands and reads about IC. More then the pain MD and PA who know nothing about IC about my clinic. I go once every 2 weeks. I wish I could go once a week but insurance only allows so many visits a years

He is a smart man. I listen to him explain things to me. However, I feel and he knows this my family md and my new psy md that my depression is not much better then a year ago. I know there is no magic wand they tell me to get rid of it. There is no magic bullet for medication. I have been unable to take any antidepressants due to side effects of urinary retention and some of them escalated my anxiety level off the charts.
So , no medication is not good either. My Psy MD is new and I have seen hime 3 times.

I have told my psy md and all of my md caretakers I think the only way to get rid of my depression is to have me work again. >>>>>>>>>> Currently out on SS . SS awarded 9-11-07. Out of work one year this week. I have not been out of work long enough psychologically yet. I am going to stay out if I can do it one more year then possible try to go back.

My bladder keeps improving with every hyro-dmso but they attriubute that to me not working no stress and no standing on my feet for 10 hur shift all day.


So, that's my experience with counseling this year. Vicky

[dyno]

Vicky,
I am glad that you have sought out help. That is one of the things the support services can do is also in some cases, find work for people.

I know of women who have ended up in a shelter, gotten help to get retrained for a job and then went on to start their lives over again.

Vicky you are also right that it sometimes takes finding the right person to work with. I am glad you shared your experience with us. :)

[leelee88]

Vicky,
I read where you said your bladder was looking better. I am so happy to hear that! That gives all of us hope you know.. I know it is hard but taking another year off will be good and then you will be ready to go.. You know I am always here for you! (((hugs)))

[SharonA]

Many years ago in a land far, far away I was in need of someone who did not know me and who I would not meet socially to talk with about things going on in my life. I decided that a counselor might do the trick. I met with this person a few times and was able to talk things out with him and allow him to guide me to answers that I had not considered before. It really helped me a lot.

[dyno]

It really does help doesn't it Sharon. I also remember a time back when my dad was dying. He spent the last 40 some days of his life in a coronary care unit. Very stressful. We all know what stress does for IC so I went to my Dr. told them what was going on and went on Ativan for awhile.

What people don't realize sometimes is that you can find help no matter what your income level. I had no income and didn't want to file it on my insurance a few years ago when I had to talk to someone. I didn't want my now ex to know what I was doing and since he was getting the Explaination of Benefits and I couldn't change that since he carried the insurance, I didn't want to file insurance. After they knew my circumstances my visits with the counsler were FREE. It helped me so much to be able to sort things out, not second guess myself and helped me to realize I was doing the right thing. I knew deep down I was but when your life is in crisis sometimes you just don't think straight.

Personal problems in our lives do affect our IC because of how most of our bodies react to the stress.

If you go to school, school counslers are a good place for students to go. They have many resources available to them. Work Force Centers have trained counslers also for helping with employment issues.

What other places can some of you think of?

[SharonA]

Many churches have excellent counseling services. Even if you do not have membership in the church, they will still offer their services.

[Briza]

In an effort to help anyone who may be looking for some help, someone to listen to them or a way to get out of a bad situation I am going to start this thread.
I know it is hard to admit it but many of us at some point in our lives need help, need some direction and need support.
.:)


I know that IC or VV or just anything can make a relationship with a significant other go sour. Or maybe it was not meant to be from the beginning or turned bad for whatever reason...emotionally or physically abusive, or both. I know that this is something that is often not talked about because sometimes women are ashamed, embarrassed, scared, etc., and often we are scared about the consequences if we try to get out of this "bad situation," whatever the cause...that the consequences could be worse than just living or dealing with it. That was me.

I confided in my best girlfriends and guy friends and my therapist when this was happening to me, but I tried to hide it as best I could from my family because I was so ashamed...I never had nor ever imagined I would be in that type of situation, nor had any of my close family, to my knowledge. The women in my family are very strong and don't put up w/ that kind of BS and I was too ashamed to let my family know that I was putting up with it.

I highly recommend therapy to help with this type of situation, but there are other options to help a woman take action to create a "safety plan" to get out of an abusive relationship as safely as possible. Most importantly is reporting any abuse to the local police to help in obtaining restraining/protective orders, and at least in the state where I live there are county programs that work with the district attorney's office on creating a safety plan to help a women get out of an abusive relationship safely even before having to go to the police.

I'm sure there are other many other free programs to help women in this type of situation. I am just speaking from my own experience....I started with therapy to try to figure out how to get out of a relationship safely, not knowing that there were other free options such as the county's safety plan program, and unfortunately things went from bad to worse before I got out.

IC, VV, PFD, Vulvodynia all played a part, among many other things, that made that particular relationship go south. It was especially scary b/c he was living in MY house, and I had asked to him to leave at least on a temporary trial basis, but he wouldn't. Had it been his house, I would've packed my stuff and left long before the really bad stuff happened.

But he is gone now...he left the state and I got a 2 yr protective order which expires this year. I pray his night in jail, the charges against him, fines, anger management courses, community service, etc., made an impact on him and that he won't be back to bother me.

Wow, this was a little more personal than I usually get in my posts, but if it helps just one person who reads it, then it is worth it to put it out here...because I know that there are other even more serious problems related to IC other than your mate "not understanding" or " not being supportive." Not that I am undermining those things, but when the relationship turns physically abusive or you feel that it may be headed in that direction, then it IS time to seek help.

Dyno, I don't know if this is what you meant as "bad situation," but I do know there must be others out there with IC or VV in similar situations, and I hope this gives just one woman the courage to do something about it before it's too late. Thank you for starting this thread:)

[dyno]

Briza,

Many of us seek help for a variety of reasons. Sometimes it is a situation such as yours. Because of this common thread we have on here, IC or related conditions, and the impact it can have on our lives and the how stress affects our disease, I think it is good to share what we have gone through and how we have found help along the way.

For some it may just be depression from the chronic illness, for others it could be a combination of things.

The important thing is to share our experiences and how we found help or if you have information that may help someone looking for help.

For some it could be job related, that is why I mentioned the employment counslers that are available at most employment centers.

I just want to open some eyes if people didn't know about some resources and for people to know that it is ok to seek help.

Thank-you for sharing your story with us...:)

[Briza]

dyno
I just re-read your first post and I saw that you had been in a similar situation, too. Somehow I missed that when I first read it. And yes, I have experienced problems at work and w/ family members, as well. I agree 100%, regardless of the situation that is causing problems related to IC, it is difficult to deal with alone. I have to say that after I got out of that relationship, I did confide in my family all the things that were wrong and though it was hard to tell them those things, it has been the #1 thing that made me strong enough to say no, he can never come back.
Thanks for sharing and thank you for your response. :)
Bri