I'm worried he won't understand

[lisajk24]

i've been diagnosed with ic for alittle while now shortly after i was diagnosed i was in a sort of a remission but now it's back full force and it's worse than ever i'm flaring alot more often it seems like as soon as 1 flare is done i get a day or 2 of just mild aching pain then bam it's back again. My energy level is fading. It's hard for me to go to work or even get out of bed. I feel exausted and in pain everyday yet i still cant sleep at night! I've been keeping how bad it's gotten from my fiance because i don't think he fully understands what i go thru i'm worried he wont understand how much it affects me and everything i do!

[SharonA]

I can't decide for you, but I think you should talk with him about this. If you are going to marry the guy, you shouldn't be keeping things from him. Especially health issues. Think about it this way. How would you react if you found out that he was keeping something this important from you?

[lisajk24]

he knows that i have ic. I just haven't fully expressed to him how it's been lately. He's been around since long before i was diagnosed in fact he's made many trips to the E.R. with in the middle of the night. So he knows how bad the flares can be i'm just not sure if he or any one who hasn't experinced for them selfs would be able to fully understand how much it affects everything else like how even if i'm not having a flare i still have pain and how exausted i feel yet i still have trouble sleeping at night. I've told him that i'm having a hard time with it right now but i just don't know how to explain it so he will understand

[megalicious]

Hang in there, Lisa! Things will get better. My current fiancee seemed to have a hard time grasping what I'm going and have been through. I don't know if this is something you'd want to try, but I made him (along with some friends and family members)a "reference guide" for the conditions with which I've been diagnosed. I gave him links to different articles explaining things like IC, PFD, and endo. I told him he coud read them if he wanted, and he did! He's been really supportive of me since then, and he even helps me stick to the new IC diet I'm working on.

My previous fiance left me because he didn't understand what things were really like for me. That's why my new guy's support means so much to me.

If you want me to send you those links, I will. I was really suprised at how helpful everyone in m family has been since they read those articles.

[lisajk24]

Hang in there, Lisa! Things will get better. My current fiancee seemed to have a hard time grasping what I'm going and have been through. I don't know if this is something you'd want to try, but I made him (along with some friends and family members)a "reference guide" for the conditions with which I've been diagnosed. I gave him links to different articles explaining things like IC, PFD, and endo. I told him he coud read them if he wanted, and he did! He's been really supportive of me since then, and he even helps me stick to the new IC diet I'm working on.

My previous fiance left me because he didn't understand what things were really like for me. That's why my new guy's support means so much to me.

If you want me to send you those links, I will. I was really suprised at how helpful everyone in m family has been since they read those articles.

yeah if you could send me those links that would be great! he is supportive of me its just hard sometimes cause there's nothing he can do and he dosen't understand all of it. I think he and i both would feel alittle better if he knew more about it.

[megalicious]

Sure thing!

I'll send them to you in just a bit... gotta sort through my email and find them.

[omarito]

i think to give him guide lines is better, but what really is more important is talking to him, telling him your fears, my symptoms started just started before i got married, i had to talk to my fiancee by the internet as he was studying abroad, & inspite of that i told him everything i felt even though my symptoms seemed weird back then, so even after getting married & having a very hard pregenancy, he wasn't surprised, then after delivery i was diagnosed with ic, what really helped, that i was honest with him from the begining, so he supported me when i needed him.. if u have honesty& faith berween you u can work anything out

[branmun]

i've been diagnosed with ic for alittle while now shortly after i was diagnosed i was in a sort of a remission but now it's back full force and it's worse than ever i'm flaring alot more often it seems like as soon as 1 flare is done i get a day or 2 of just mild aching pain then bam it's back again. My energy level is fading. It's hard for me to go to work or even get out of bed. I feel exausted and in pain everyday yet i still cant sleep at night! I've been keeping how bad it's gotten from my fiance because i don't think he fully understands what i go thru i'm worried he wont understand how much it affects me and everything i do!

I can relate. My husband and I have been together for 15 years and he is supportive but, sometimes I feel like a broken record when I keep mentioning how I don't feel well. The exhaustion and agony of the symptoms make me moody and I have to rest a lot. It seems our friends sometimes do not understand. I feel they think its just a bladder thing and that I appear just plain lazy or like a baby. My husband and I have a code. He knows that when I say I have the "pee thing" to be extra supportive, overlook my moodiness and stay out of my way. I think it is hard for anyone that does not have IC to know how agonizing it is. I'm sure you fiance would want to know so he can be there for you. Also, so you can discuss ways to cope with the IC for when you become husband and wife. Wishing you luck and hope that you have another remission in time for your wedding!

[lisajk24]

thanks to everyone for the support and advice i showed him a few articles and showed him this website i think he understands it alittle better now after reading the things i showed him and he dose the best he can to deal with me when i'm having a flare(which i have been for almost 3 weeks now!!!:cussing:) sometimes i just feel really bad for him because i know it's hard on him to see me in sooo much pain not be able to do anything and then i end up taking it out on him and i don't mean to it just gets so hard sometimes that i feel like i just can't take anymore!:dizzy: