He wants me to WHAT?!!

[profhucklebee]

Yesterday I started the thread called “What do you say when…”

WOW! It gets even weirder! Today my husband came home from work and asked me if I wanted to go for a “nice long bicycle ride”.

NO KIDDING!!

I must be acting like Superwoman, because I haven’t been able to ride a bike since I graduated from college. It hurts my bladder… BAD.

And so now I have a new question:

What do you say/do when your husband asks you to do the things you are TERRIFIED to try again, once you start to feel better?

I thought about asking him if we needed to lube him up so we could take out the probe the aliens put in when they abducted him. :evilsmile LOL

Seriously… what do you do with that?

[systitis]

Here's the all-purpose, suit-everything-anytime reply to the ever-clueless: Are you kidding??????

[kadi]

Ditto, but probably with the profanity added back in...

[crazy_beautiful]

I second that Kadi

[systitis]

In praise of profanity: properly & strategically employed, profanity can be the best -- and often -- only way to get your point across when addressing the obdurately clueless. In view of the degree of pain, misunderstanding & misery ICers endure, I would never diss the well-chosen expletive and would in fact argue its necessity!

Plus...I was intentionally discreet, delicate & witty in the way I expressed the essential (in this particular circumstance) expletive. Not that censors are ever big on context & nuance....LOL...

The question is: will this post be deleted or expurgated???? ;-)

[ICNDonna]

In the interest of making the IC Network a safe, comfortable haven for everyone, profanity is not allowed here. We do have a smilie to use as a substitute, however --- :cussing: or even a :rant: if you REALLY want to shout it out.

If my husband were to invite me on a bicycle ride, I would probably either give him a :rolleyes: look or maybe suggest we just take a walk.

:smile tee

Donna

[Sheryle]

I was taught while growing up that people who used expletives were uneducated and just couldn't think of good sound words to say. My husband and I have been married 30 years this year and if he cursed me I'd probably pass out. And visa-versa. I think I read somewhere that ...."a kind word turneth away wrath." It's a good thing to practice. Discipline is a must in our IC state of physical being. In every area of our lives. Have a good day - and oh, by the way, you gotta learn to love like you've never been hurt!

[Dianne]

I guess I would have said "oh that sounds so wonderful. I hate this disease that takes away the things I love doing." So that I ack. what his wish or dream was. Then I'd make a counter offer for whatever I could do or suggest he go ahead and go without me, then come home and cuddle on the couch and tell me about it so I can share it too. I try to go for the compromise in whatever way I can. I'm the exception in that I'm not exacerbated by movement but that's how I handle situations the best I can.

[LuvMaui]

This is funny because yesterday my Sister called and invited my husband and I on a river path bike ride. My husband said ..... Ya want to go?? Keep in mind I have been in a really cruddy flare for 6 weeks... crying in pain, trying new meds, peeing every other minute... etc.

All I had to do is look at him... He said oh yeah.. Your bladder is acting up. I got ticked off and said.... YA THINK??? :mad:

Another thing that makes this illness difficult is that you don't always look sick, so family and friends forget you're suffering.

[mom_in_ma]

Actually, there is a seat that might help you be able to ride your bike again. I can't remember what it's called, but OrlandoP would know. She's gone for a few days and if you PM her I'm sure she'll write back. But, it has the inside part hollowed out and room for just our bums...so pressure on those privates. Looks kinda funny, but I think you can get a cover so no one knows it's just for you.

But, you did make me laught with the joke about the probe up your...uhm...rear.

[born2swim]

I would probably scoff, laugh, then say "I'm sorry sweetie, it's just not going to happen"

[Sally939]

For me when asked to do something I can not do thequestions make me a bit sad. I feel sad that I can not do something I would love to do and sad that I am putting limatations on those close to me. I hope in more time I just toughen up to it and deal with it. I try to just explain why I can not do that. I find that the ones asking just want to have fun and necver want to cause my bladder pain.

[LolaDoggie]

I'm not going to comment on the profanity issue.

You do bring up a good point though. There are things I'm not doing right now that I used to and I'd like to do again.

If we're using the bike ride example. I would say yes, I'd like to go but...then I would suggest buying one of those fancy gel seat pad thingies. And then I would suggest a short ride to start with and see how that goes.

If you don't want to go, just say so. Or say not today.

[lisabar36]

I would of said how bout you go ride and I will watch. I always go bowling with my family and I always have fun watching and they love it, so I sit there and watch and eat. :) Works for me and them. :smile tee

[MakinIT]

I would almost think MY husband was intentionally being mean, but he really hasn't asked me to do anything that would hurt me physically. I'm just an emotional wreck. Ha, ha.

[MakinIT]

:rant:Actually, for my husband and I, it's the lack of my ability to mountain bike, ski, camp on any ol' Rocky ground and not hike...this is what is causing OUR marital split. Nothing personal, you see.....:rant:(Dumb @%&) I just can't stand it. I sent my prior email in the middle of the night, so it came out kinda wierd. Anyway...All my friends want to know my "progress" with my Divorce. HA!I took my ring off. That's it. Actually, he's been very civil and now that it;s in the air we are acting kinda wierd...He actually called ME last night from an overnight trip (normally I'm trying to call him) He wants me to substitute in his class and he actually calls me sweetie and honey. HUH? :confused: I really, really, really just want to get my loneliness gone. Oh well, he's in a good mood because his step brother will be back from Iraq soon and he has his snow mobile buddy back.

I want my own apartment...we've discussed it and already know we have to sell the house....We will make a good profit and the laws here, I'm told, make it so that he has to put me in a equivilent situation (money wise) to now. I don't expect him to work his ass off harder than he is but he needs to pay for my health care and keep me out of poverty. I am trying very hard to work but I just crashat the end of the day!

Good Luck